13 Month Old Biting and Pinching - HELP!!

I have found that the best thing to do is walk away. If he bites or pinches, set him down and move away from him. He will get upset and realize, over time, that when he does this Mommy goes away. My Dad does this with his Labrador, he calls it "No touch, no talk, no eye contact." Funny how toddlers and dogs are so alike.

Biting is normal (although of course not desirable). You say 'biting hurts' and distract him with something he can do. If you give a big reaction it becomes a game. It will take some repetition. IMO biting him back (or slapping him) teaches him biting and slapping are ok

Hi A.,

I really prefer the 'stand up/put down' method of dealing with pinching/biting/hitting little ones of this age. When my son was little, if this happened while I was holding him, I would put him down and tell him with a firm voice: "That hurts Mama. All done now." Then I would stand up and walk over to something else, and not pick him up for about a minute. Or if he had to be on my lap, I'd turn him to face outward and give him something else to pinch or bite.

Please understand that this is a developmental phase. Kids bite when their teeth are moving, and it's not necessarily obvious to us. They may not manifest drool or other teething symptoms, but the teeth are moving around a lot under the surface, which does cause them some amount of discomfort. Biting is one way children relieve this. And the pinching is the same-- babies are practicing their pincer grip, we just need to give them other toys or cheerios to practice with, instead of ourselves.

Big reactions are also interesting, which is why he finds it 'funny'. Not that he's doing this to upset you or hurt you per se (babies can't plan to hurt other people in this way) but your big reaction is perceived by him as "wow-- I do *this* and Mama makes a big noise! Interesting!" This is why I like the "stand up/put down" discipline, because nothing is more instructive than our choosing not to give our little one attention. Letting them cry on this for one minute is not a big deal, by the way.

Some people will debate this, too, but I have found that instead of saying "no" (which is an abstract word to little ones), I try to tell the child what I would like him to do. Distraction and redirection techniques really help here. Instead of telling him "no no" about the plant, you could also help him by saying "We leave the plant alone. Let's go find a toy", walk him away by the hand and hand him an appropriate item. Or, adjust the enviroment and put the plant up. (Kids have a very difficult time staying out of plants, and some may be toxic. It may be better just to put them up.)

Hope some of these ideas help!
H.

I feel your pain, I have a home daycare with a 17 month old that has bitten 2 children twice now. I don't believe in biting back or slapping her (even gently) for doing it. I don't see how that teaches anything, at least in regard to biting.I think a lot of patience and finding out when/why they bite can help. With my child, I am working with her parents on it and it seems to help, she hasn't bitten in a week. We figured out that she gets frustrated and doesn't know how to deal with it, and biting gets results. Whether it is a toy from another child or simply a reaction and therefore attention. We have done prompt time outs and lots of love for the child being bitten. At home, she doesn't bite, but will try to hit her older siblings, so same idea, she gets a time out. She is a smart girl for her age, she is quickly learning and we have had a better week.

For you, say NO and either try a time out or simply get up and walk away fro a few minutes, he needs to see that he loses out when he bits or pinches and is told no.

I think its really a phase some kids go through, and I think its hard because when they are that little they are such in the moment little people, and even if they know its not right, they still dont have a whole lot of control over their impulses.

My son bit. He bit hard, and he bit alot. We said, "No biting. Biting hurts. Don't bit." And would put him down or move him away from the situation if he bit.

Everyday when we dropped him off at daycare, we would say, "No biting. biting hurts" and say, "Instead of biting, say no!" (since most of the time he bit it was because someone took a toy, or he wasnt getting what he wanted). The message sunk in to the point that whenever we mentioned the daycares name, or drove past it, he would say "No biting. Say no." BUT he still kept biting.

Eventually, as he got better able to talk and express himself, and better able to control his impulses, he stopped biting.

keep doing what you are doing... he'll "get it". If he's only doing it to get your attention tho, that is another issue. Make sure that is not the case. Just be consistent with the punishment and he'll be cured in a fairly short period of time. They usually go through these little phases, they dont know they are hurting people when they do it, so you have to make sure that he knows it hurts so he wont want to do it to anyone anymore.

My 2nd son (18 months) is a biter and we seem to have phases of stopping and starting (except with his brother). And it definitely coincides with teething. I've found if I can help alleviate the teething pain the biting does diminish immensely. Unfortunately, he has now figured out when he bites, he gets what he wants from his brother...Ugg! So for us removing him from a situation that he can't express his frustrations before he gets frustrated works real well. But really I can't be hoovering over him all day long so he does get to sneak a bite in every now and then.

With that said I too have tried everything..even the lemon juice, vinegar, tabasco sauce etc. He could care less (even liked the Tabasco & lemon juice). Time out worked for the moment, but that was it. What I've just recently started doing is trying to make it a teaching moment. When I see him go in for a bite instead of a "harsh no or no bites" I've been saying "we give hugs & kisses" (this has worked with his hitting too) and then show him how to hug and give a kisses. I'd say 75% of the time if I say this he will then try to give his brother a kiss instead of biting. Which is a huge improvement. And when I see it happening and I can't get there in time to stop him I can shout it and it seems to get his attention more than "stop--no biting"!

Unfortunately, you may have to forego playdates if its a big issue for awhile or you might just have to be a helicopter mom, until this phase ends. And is just a phase. Hang in there, luckily for us my son has only bit one other kid once (which I think was only because he thought it was his brother). Otherwise his only victim is our immediate family. I've even notice him try to go in for one with my Mom or my nephews ,but he stops. So they do "know" better....

My daughter was a biter too. We tried all the no's, time-outs, etc. Nothing worked, so we tried lemon juice, of course she liked it. It got out of hand quickly, biting kids everywhere we went. So I gave her a drop of tabasco every time she bit, I carried it in my purse. It was kind of harsh, but she stopped biting within a few days.

My nephew started doing this too, he is 15 months. I find that having one 'signal' word that mean no ( no, no-no, stop etc) needs to reinforced consistently. Tapping him on the mouth/hand and telling him no seems to be working. He recognized a no-no head nod too so that works also.

He's too young to care about words. The fastest thing is a good sting to the hand with "No!" for pinching and hand or fanny for biting. Then he will attach the consequence to "no" and you'll only need the "no" after that. Nip it!