12 Week Old Still Waking Frequently During the Night

This is very hard!!! My first daughter was a great sleeper from the start. My second has been the exact opposite - I would say she was at least 15 months old before she actually slept through the night. She is now just over 2, and we still have rough nights with her now and then. I've decided some kids just aren't good sleepers!!!!!
I would offer a paci (if you use one), and if he still isn't satisfied, maybe he still needs that feeding! It is so hard - every kid is so different!
Hang in there...I try to remember that it is just a moment, all things pass!!!

My youngest is 13 months and is still waking up every 3-4 hrs a night. When he wakes up I'll put him in my bed and breast feed him until hes done and then put him back in his bed. I don't know how to get him to sleep through the night.

My opinion is that he is too young to cry it out at night, and that he is probably still waking up because he is hungry and is growing. He still isn't that old yet... have patience. Good luck.

My opinion is that you have to ride this one out. He is only 12 weeks. He isn't ready to go all night without a feeding and maybe if in another month he is still waking that much try to cut one feeding at night, but not yet. They say they go through a growth spurt at 3 months so he might need the extra milk right now. I know it is exhausting, but again he is only 12 weeks. Ask his doctor for advice, but I say hang in there and see what happens.

Hi W.,

I don't want to hurt your feelings or anything, but I'm curious, why do you think your 12 week old son should be sleeping through the night? If your friends or doctor have said this, please don't listen to them; they are quite ignorant of growing babies. This is perfectly normal for him to NEED to eat through the night, for much longer than 12 weeks. He is not "discontent" or "demanding," as some people suggest. Babies have tiny stomachs and all they are digesting is milk, or formula milk--which does not take long to digest. Not only that, but babies go through periods of growth spurts in which they need all of those extra calories for growth and development--ESPECIALLY for the development of their brains.

If you need more rest, I suggest taking naps with the children during the day, or going to bed earlier at night. I'm sorry to say that sleep deprivation is just a part of parenthood during this time period. I guess the thing that helped me get through the exhausting first years was the fact that I could be grateful that I had the ability to feed my children all of the nutrients they ever needed in order to become healthy, intelligent adults. Rarely in the US do we ever have to worry about our children becoming mentally retarded and failing to develop properly for lack of protein and a good diet, as many impoverished children do, who suffer around the world.

Withholding food from any baby is unnecessary and quite frankly, neglectful. So please be careful that you do not put your sleep in front of your child's very crucial needs. Under exhaustion, I know it's hard to remember that our children only ever NEED us. And sometimes, sacrifice is the most loving thing we can do for our families. I have a song I sing to myself whenever I am having a hard time with all of the requirements of parenting...I hold my little baby, rock them back and forth and sing "Loving my baby, loving my baby."

Best of luck Mommy and Congrats on that beautiful baby!
J

At this age I would expect your child to be waking several times a night -- he still needs to eat. "Sleeping through the night" isn't really developmentally expected and typical until closer to 7-8 months, and even then baby would do something like go down at ~7p, wake to eat at ~10p, sleep til around 4a then wake around 6-7a for the day.

I know how hard missing sleep can be, but hang in there. Don't try to force your child into your schedule at this point just because you're tired of the night feedings. There is a time to expect longer stretches of sleep, but not now. A few months from now if he's still waking that often perhaps letting him cry some would help get him on track -- at that point he would be physically ready/able to sleep longer.

The book I have loved for both my kids is called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child -- it's excellent.

Frankly, he's too young to be sleeping through the night. There are lots of books out there about routines and sleep strategies. Find one that works for you or take parts of different theories and make it work for you. Just because he is crying doesn't mean he is hungry. Maybe too warm/cold? Maybe gas? Maybe growing pains? Maybe wet diaper? Maybe introduce a blankie or stuffed animal for security. Soothing music. Night light. He's too young to cry it out just yet. But, you are far from the end of the tunnel of sleeping through the night. Sorry.

My son, who is almost 2 now, did the exact same thing until he was 7 months old! Newborns/infants need to eat that often, and I was suprised that you thought about cutting out a feeding since you already have a 2 year old and have "been there, done that" with her. Personally, I wouldn't recommend doing that. It's hard getting up so often in the middle of the night, (believe me, I HATE waking up in the night!), but as parents that just something we have to sacrifice until they are old enough to sleep through the night. Stick it out...he may just suprise you and start sleeping through the night earlier than you expected! Also, if you can get your kids on the same nap schedule, if they're not already, try to nap when they do during the day! Hope you get some rest soon!

When my daughter was about that age (also waking a few times a night) we gave her a bottle when she woke up around midnight and it helped her last longer - it mostly helped because I pumped after daytime feedings so the bottle consisted mostly of superthick hind milk and kept her full longer (also helped her gain weight she needed at that time). Pumping is a pain, but giving formula or a mix of the 2 might help as well.
I think they have a grow spurt around this age so he probably is legitimately hungry. We still get chided at the pediatrician's office because our 10 month old gets up and quickly breastfeeds once during the night. They also chide us about her weight, so it's not like I'll NOT feed her! I only have one friend with a baby around her age sleeping through the night, and he has been on the bottle since birth and adhering strictly to Babywise methods, which just don't work for breastfeeding, but might work if you are bottle feeding - just don't go against your instincts because the methods can be rather harsh in my opinion.
Good luck! Keeping 2 kids asleep is quite the challenge I imagine!

My mom used this trick and it worked on all of us, it's also worked like a charm on all my babies. I keep them awake from about 6:00-10:00. Whatever it takes to keep them awake...a damp washcloth on their forehead, just playing with them, whatever. It makes for an unpleasant week or so, during those hours anyway, But all my mom's babies and mine were sleeping through the night by 6 weeks. It's SO worth it! We just had to rearrange their schedules a bit. Good luck.

It is totally normal that your son is waking frequently at 12 weeks. He's probably hungry, and even if he's not hungry, he's telling you something in the only way a baby can. He may need to be changed, or he may just want to be close to you. This is all just part of being a mom. I know you are exhausted, but cherish these sleepless moments while they last. It really is true that it goes by so fast. I was so tired after our son was born that sometimes I have a hard time remembering some of the great moments I had with him as an infant. I made a mental note when I was pregnant with our daughter that I would enjoy every waking moment with her and with our then 2 yr old son. You also may want to try putting a bassinet next to your side of the bed (assuming your boy is not too big) so that you can grab him up as soon as he wakes and take care of him. This way your daughter and husband will get the sleep they need. I did this with both of my kids, and also went out into the living room to feed, change, and rock them until they fell asleep. Also, just to echo the other ladies, please don't let him cry it out yet. He is way too young and way too dependent on you taking care of him at this point.

Hi W., I know how horrible the sleep deprivation thing can be! However, as many others said, be patient, and know that it will get better. 12 weeks is still very young, and soon he will be sleeping through the night!

One suggestion that I do have, however, is to evaluate the sleeping situation and perhaps try something different. Is he sleeping with you? Does he have your own room? Each child is so different in what he/she needs, in terms of own space vs. cuddles and comfort. We did the family bed for a year, and found that as soon as my son transferred into his own bed, and then into his own room, he slept much better. He seems to need his own space, whereas some friends' kids I know started sleeping better when closer in proximity to their parents...so you might just try experimenting with shifting whatever your situation is.

I'm in the same position as you -- a 12 week old boy and a 2 year old girl. I've found it helps to wake my son up right before I go to sleep -- around 11 or midnight -- and give him one last feed on my schedule. That way at least I'm getting to sleep a good stretch at the same time he is. Also, it helps to swaddle him, because he's getting old enough to be quite wiggly and his arms flail about and wake him unnecessarily in the night. Another thing I know I tried with my daughter when she was just 3 months old was to give her a bottle of warm water when she woke in the night. Within a week she was skipping that 3 a.m. feed. Some doctors say not to give water, but others recommend it... it worked wonders with our first, and we'll probably try it again with this one in a few weeks.

Some other comments have mentioned that he's too little to sleep through and needs the food in the night. That's not necessarily true -- as long as he is getting at least 5 good feeds during the day, and he's gaining enough weight, looking good on the charts. Make sure you are feeding him consistently every 3 - 4 hrs all day long, and then wake him for that last feed right as you go to bed as well. The books say he should start sleeping through by about 3 months, at least for 6 hr stretches. Sometimes we condition them to wake up every 3 hrs??

Others also mentioned co-sleeping or putting a cot by your bed. I actually found the reverse was helpful... when I moved our son out of our bedroom he started sleeping longer stretches at night. So, what does all this mean? I guess it's a very subjective discussion and everyone will have their own opinion. Good luck trying different things! I hope you can get some sleep sometime soon.

I have a 4 1/2 month old son and he was the same way - waking every 2 hours at night even though I was feeding him every 2-3 hours during the day. The last 2 weeks he has finally started sleeping for longer stretches at night - 4-5 hours at a time. He may have just been ready to sleep longer but we also made a couple of changes that I think helped. First - I would give him a bottle of expressed breastmilk every afternoon and I started to add 1-2 oz of formula to the bottle to give him some extra calories during the day (so he wouldn't need to get extra calories at night). Then, the first time he would wake at night, my husband would go in and soothe him in his crib w/o picking him up - either with the pacifier, holding his hand, etc. If after 30 minutes he was still fussy and crying, I'd feed him. We continued this for a few days and by day 3 or 4, his sleep stretches got longer. From 2 hours to 4-5 hours. I don't mind having to feed him twice a night - it's heaven compared to how often I was having to feed him at night. Good luck.

Hi-- 12 weeks is still a pretty little baby, and he could be going through a growth spurt and need the exra calories of another feeding. He also could need to reconnect for some reassurance--as much of a pain as that is in the middle of the night, it's a sign of healthy attachment to you. I know sleep researchers have defined "sleeping through the night" as a four to five hour stretch. . . maybe you could adjust the schedule so you get his longest stretch when you're actually ready for bed yourself? I know I'm alway wiped the next day when I waste my baby's good sleep stretch watching TV! Maybe you could find a gap in the day to nap when your litter baby is sleeping--perhaps during Sesame Street or when your daughter is willing to play quietly next to you but not necessarily with you? You might also enjoy to book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. It's gentle and helpful. I think the cry-it-out techniques will leave you with an extra-stressed baby who's burning his extra calories complaining about feeling disconnected instead of using them to lean and grow. . . .I'm sorry you're tired! This too shall pass. ;)

I have a 5 month old who still doesnt sleep through the night. He would do the same thing at night at the same age. he would sleep for about 4-5 hours straight( like from 7:30-midnight) and then wake up every 3 hours or so. What we started doing is feeding him before we went to bed( which we still do) around 10:30-11. At least that way he didnt wake up again until about 3:30 or so and at least we could get a solid 4 hours sleep. Try putting him to bed later- sometimes that helps too! I am a SAHM of 3 and my 5 and 7 year old never did this- they both slept through the night by this time, so I understand your frustration! Good luck!

I agree with everyone so far. It is completely normal for babies up to 9 months old to still NEED to eat during the night. Your baby's sleep/wake schedule sounds very normal for his age. Please don't ignore your babies cries for food and comfort or your mothers instincts. It does get better and you will get more sleep. Are you nursing? If so I would recommend either co-sleeping or setting up a side-car arrangement (crib, bassinet or pack 'n play is next to your bed) so that you can nurse throughout the night without waking up too much. If you are bottle feeding then can you and your husband take turns with the feedings so that you can get a bit more sleep? Good luck and remember...this too shall pass.

He probably needs to be fed at least once during the night still. What could be triggering him to wake up? Is his pacifier falling out? Does he kick off the covers? Is he able to roll over yet?
K.

My 13 week old daughter has never slept through the night, but I feel like I get plenty of sleep because I breastfeed her while we're both in our bed. I have been able to figure out how to sleep while she's eating! It works great!

W., I know you probably don't want to hear this, but your baby is only 12 weeks old. Not all babies sleep through the night. Not a single one of my 4 boys sleep through the night until they were well over a year old. And it was at least three times a night that they would wake up. Maybe you should try feeding him more. He could be hungry. If your other child starting sleeping through the night that's wonderful, but every child is different.

hi W.---it is tuff I know my daughter started sleeping through the night right off the bat! It was awsome, I had MANY people tell me how lucky I was, I would give her a pacifierwhen she would wake up and if that didn't work then she needed food for sure so I would wake up with no lights (I had to learn the house we were renting very well), because the less interaction u give them they realize eventually that it is bed time, and I read alot when I had my first child becuase I was nervous that I would be a good mom, and one thing I read was that if you don't have to change a diaper then don't, of course if it is very full then don't neglect it but the less movement and awareness they have the better, so if you were to get up as soon as he started crying to let him know you are there eventually you probably could just give him a pacifier assuming he is not hungry. But like I said I was very fortunate for my baby to sleep right off the bat but as of now she is almost a year old and she started waking up in the middle of the night 2-3 times around 8 months or so, that was really hard to get used to again, but the point I'm trying to make here is you are the mom and you know what needs to be done expecially since you already have a 2yr old, so do what needs to be done in the middle of the night now and it will be so much better in the long runI am a stay at home mom and my husband has to go to work every morning so I can't have the kids keeping him up all night (it's just not fair to him) so I have to suck it up and do something, trust me there has been many nights that I would sit in the dark feeding my baby crying to myself and telling myself this to shall pass!! and try putting the little ones to bed early around the same time and going to bed your self at that time, I know it's hard but you are the mom, this is your job, sad but true!
good luck, think happy thoughts!

My son continued to wake up throughout the night until he was 10 months old. I wouldn't suggest letting your baby cry it out at only 12 weeks old...he is still so little and probably just needs to eat. Babies go through growth spurts also. Although he may be old enough to go a little longer between feedings, maybe he is having a growth spurt and needs the extra nutrients. If he is hungry, I would say feed him. Seems like anytime before about 6 months would be too early to cry it out. I am not an expert though...just my thoughts.

Good luck!

What a friend suggested to me is working like a charm! My 12 week old was waking often to eat as yours is and she suggested at the feeding prior to going to bed (we go to bed later, around 11) I feed him and also give him rice cereal now, which keeps him full longer through the night. Now he only wakes once during the night around 3 AM and then again around 5:30 onward, but at least I'm getting four solid hours of sleep and then another few with some interuptions to feed him during the early morning hours.

He's too little to cry it out. He needs to eat. My son woke every 3-4 hours until he was almost a year old. It was brutal, but he has a super fast metabolism. He still wants to eat the second he wakes up in the morning.
Cying it out is for older babies. Reserch shows that the first few months are critical for responding to an infant when he cries; otherwise, he will learn not to trust you. It is hard to be up all the time, I know--been there, done that!--but maybe try getting a co-sleeper--it is a special crib that attaches to the side of your bed. THat way, he is right there beside you, and you can nurse him without getting up. It makes life a little easier. Or, you could do the ultimate "no-no" and let him sleep in your bed. These choices are totally up to you. I did sleep with my son, but only out of necessity due to a very small living space and no room for a crib. Good luck. He will sleep eventually.

We liked the book "On Becoming Babywise" by Gary Ezzo. You might find it helpful still. I've seen it in the library. Book one is for newborns to 5 months. Book two is for 5-15 months. I haven't read book 2 to know if I like it or not. Both our kids were sleeping through the night by about your son's age. The other help for our second was the video "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp, I think. I'm not sure if that would be in the library or not. I know the book is, but my cousin hated the book. GL! Hope you get some sleep soon!

Hi W., have you heard of the books "On Becoming Babywise" or "The New Contented Little Baby Book" (the latter is from the UK)? I won't say they're garanteed to help, but they do address these problems EXTENSIVELY, and help you to establish a more predictable rhythm for your child, with advice on feeding, training sleep, etc. I am using their advice to get my 7 week old on a routine, and for several weeks already, he wakes only once in the night. I am also very preoccupied with these topics at the moment, like you, eager to get more rest at night!

i went through that same thing. my son didn't sleep through the night until he was a year old.

talk about tired!

That sounds normal. My baby woke every 3 hours til about 4 months old. I've read a book that says you are not supposed to let them cry it out until they are at least 5 months old. Even then, they sometimes need one feeding during the night. I'm personally against the cry it out.. I like the no cry sleep solution.

My girls are 3,6, and 8 and not one of them slept through the night at that age. It was YEARS before anyone slept completely through the night. My 3 year old will still wake up a few times a night. I wouldn't cut out feeding him...that's probably why he is waking up. We had to separate our daughter from the other two girls because she was waking them up when we tried to let her "cry it out" (we did that when she was about 8 months old). I just never assumed that anyone would sleep through the night at any age because otherwise I would have been extremely disappointed. If you have to get some sleep take turns letting each other sleep in (if work schedule(s) allow for that). I know when I was that tired my husband started being the main caregiver at night. Then when I got up in the morning with the first kid that woke up and he slept in a little. Worked for both of us because he knew that if he got up every time someone cried in the middle of the night, then he would get a little extra sleep in the morning. I knew that by him getting up for me, I would get my sleep at night and give him the guilt free sleeping in time. Totally saved us and we were not sleep deprived. I know that some husbands would not be willing to do that but by the second baby I made it known that I NEEDED help and he jumped right in. Not so into it with the first, but that's also because I kept my feelings about it to myself. Seriously, try that schedule because your baby probably won't sleep and you'll just keep getting more and more tired.

A 12 week old baby who is waking every 3 hours is exactly normal! Are you breastfeeding? Your baby needs to nurse this often in order to have enough calories for the rapid body and brain growth that is taking place. In addition, remember that babies this age don't have the ability to 'manipulate'...if your son is crying, it's his only way of communicating to you that he is in need of something. Feed him, change him, and comfort him. To deny him food or comfort at this early stage in his life would be disasterous and just plain wrong. A doctor named Sears has written several good books about child development and parenting which would be a great help to you. Look for his book on infant development, and please, go talk to your pediatrician if you have questions about this. Finally, being exhausted when you have a 2 year old and a new baby are also completely normal. Try to be creative about getting naps during the day, or (if breastfeeding) pump some milk and have your spouse take a turn with the feeding at night. The good news is that in a few months your baby will grow into the capacity to make it a little longer between feedings, and soon will be sleeping through the night, provided you have demonstrated to him that you will always be there for him when he needs you. Good luck!