11Yo Girl with Attention Issues

My little girl is now 12 and we went through the same exact thing. It did interfere with her school work some but not as badly as I worried it would. She is generally and A, B student and when she brought home a C for the first time in her entire life on her report card, she was very disappointed and unhappy about it. She struggled the next 6 weeks but we seen improvement every week. There are still times at home when I can say go get me the camera off the top of the desk and she draws a blank...she looks at me like I am crazy. She will go to the desk and say, I didn't see it. This does not happen very often anymore, and I have noticed it's worse when she is concentrating on doing something else, reading a book for fun, listening to music, or just day dreaming. She is a wonderful kid though and still makes me proud. We shall see how she does this school year. She was upset she didn't get A, B honor roll for the year because of one class, but I think that is behind us now.

Good luck,
M.

Your child may have an attention deficient and may need to be seen to your self and your daughter a favor and do it now. Been there.

Maybe she needs to repeat back to you what you just said. Or help her visualize the task and even move through it (e.g., move her arm as if pulling out the correct drawer) just after you say it. Kids with auditory processing or memory issues benefit from using different modalities (visual and motor) to compensate. That's why written instructions are easier to follow; they provide a constant reference to check back.

However, everyone gets distracted now and then. If she has not had difficulty following multi-step directions in the past, it is not likely to be a processing problem now, like ADD. Also, she might be reaching that age when her motivation to please adults is declining, if you know what I mean. :)

R.,
I am the mother of 3 who are now older and have spent many hours volunteering in my kids' schools and I have seen this happen with my own kids and many others in middle school. I see it occur in the 7th grade most often, but I have seen it in the 6th and the 8th as well. My best guess is that hormones have taken over your child's body and just ride it out the best way you can and soon you will have your child back! During this time, pick your battles very carefully and be very loving, patient and supportive, for your child probably is privately confused about what is really happening and doing the best they can. Good luck, soon you will have your child back!

You can ask your dr for a referral to a Speech Therapist or Occupational Therapist or contact your local pediatric therapy clinic and ask if anyone is certified in the therapeutic listening program (you can google it for more in depth info). But basically the child listens to a series of CD's for a certain length of time daily the results improve auditory processing and attention. Of course, they would evaluate your daughter first to determine if it is an auditory processing issue. You can also play different memory games. Like ask her to remember a 2 objects at first then add to the list progressively making it more difficult. Maybe after she scores so many points she wins or you win...just make it fun. Also, monition her fluid intake. If she is not drinking enough water that can also make your short term memory a little off.

She probably has ten different songs going on in her head as well as two movies, four asgmts., the boy sitting behind her in class, etc. LOL

so, check what she's heard.

Have her repeat you the directions.

If that doesn't work, have her picture what she's doing (is she a visual learner?) and relay it back to you.

Write a note..... LOL

If it is sudden I think you need to take a closer look. It did not appear from your post as if she is doing it on purpose as a rebellion issue of a pre-teen. If it has not been a previous issue I would want to talk to her and see if she can help define what is happening. Is it stress related, blood sugar level, hormone changes, etc. Something is triggering it since it has not been a previous issue. Good luck and let us know what you find out.

My son has had issues with tasks involving more than one instruction. If your daughter has not had this issue previously and it has just "started," I don't know that she may have the same difficulties my son has. Regardless, my son has ADHD, but he also has a language disorder that causes him to have difficulty completing instructions requiring more than one or two tasks at a time. Please have a licensed professional check in to the possibility of some type of lanuguage disorder, before deciding that this may solely be a behavioral issue.

She's old enough to be part of the solution. Maybe you could ask her to take notes if she's unsure she can remember everything (like a waitress would do when taking a complicated order!). It will also improve her writing skills and making it a "game" may work beyond any underlying ugliness. Good Luck!

Get her hearing checked. It could be for attention, aggravating you, all kids like to push Mom's buttons....

Try telling her whatever it is you want her to do and then when she says "ok, got it." say "Ok, repeat back to me what I just said." I've done this with my three kids and they usually can repeat back maybe one of the three parts to whatever instructions I gave them. So they'll stumble, I'll prompt and eventually we get the instructions put together and verbalized. Then I'll say "ok, now tell me again, all of it." After she has to repeat her instructions a couple of times you'll know that she heard you.... I am just as guilty as my kids at listening to them, saying 'yea, yea ok" and not really hearing what it is they have acutally said. So this makes everyone slow down and truly hear what is being said. And while it may seem tedious- it is less so than having her come back to you three or four times.

Hi R.,,,,
all preteens and teens seem to start with those systems ,,then they turn to answer all questions with the answer "idon't know" but if it effects her school work ,,you might conceder having her tested there are many things besides ADHD
good luck L.

Try asking her to repeat the instructions to you prior to sending her off on the task. Maybe she's just distracted or not giving her full attention.

Good luck!

R.,

I also have an 11 y/o daughter who is very bright, but is struggling with same issues as your daughter. I ascribe it to pre-teen hormones. It affects their ability to concentrate and listen. Talk to her about the importance of listening carefully to ALL the instructions, asking questions if she doesn't understand and THEN ACTING. Practice this behavior with her, make it a game and then give her lots of praise and a hug or high-five when she does it right during and after practice.

The frontal lobe of the brain (the part that can see the connection between actions and long-term consequences) does not fully develop until age 20 to 25 and sometimes 25 to 30. Remember the "rule of 3". Ask them to clean their room and then follow it up with THREE clear instructions such as, "And by clean I mean: make your bed, pick-up your clothes, and put away your toys." Also, make sure you are letting her know you disapprove of her behavior not her. That way she'll understand her behavior is something she can control it's not who she is.

Good luck to the both of us!