My son pulls his twin sister's hair all day long. I'm at a lost on how to handle it. She cries and I try to tell him 'no no' and then comfort her, but he laughs. Oh boy.
Although this might sound mean, when my youngest did this to his older siblings, I just gave a little flick on the hand that was pulling the hair. It's not fun, but it works, and the hair pulling stops- immediately.
Hope that helps!
I agree with Anne Marie and her suggestion to model and teach "gentle" and also to redirect and prevent the behavior from happening in the first place. I think pulling his hair is stepping stone of problems. Everyone has said 'I don't believe in corporal punishment BUT..." and then you (as in generalized you all) basically state "do it anyways...it's not a big deal this time" So when he bites are you going to bite him? When he pushes are you going to push him? When he hits, will you hit him? when he pokes a kid on the playground with a stick, Will you poke him?
You can teach him the gentle touches are good. and jusst as if he was pulling the tail of a cat or poking a dogs eye - you can rescue your daughter and relocate her. I think my pulling his hair you are model the negative vs redirecting and exemplifying the possitive.
E.
Momma to a 3 year old and 2 year old twins
I know this sounds simple, but I really think the best thing to do is to pull his hair. Tell him that you are going to show him what that is like and make sure you pull it hard enough to hurt. If he does it again ...immediately pull his hair again. Do that every time and he will finally get the picture.
It is not mean or cruel. It's just teaching him a lesson that sometimes isn't learned any other way.
I hope this helps!
I think the recommendation is to model "gentle" with him. He won't understand "no" in the way that we understand "no" and so it is generally ineffective, as are most other approaches except modeling what you want him to do. It isn't my own idea that very young children don't understand "no" - it is a whole body of clinical research on early childhood development. I would show him hugging and kissing and gentle strokes and also get him a cuddly toy/doll to play with and cuddle. He can pull its hair. It takes a lot of repetition. Also, pulling his hair to tell him to not pull hair is a strange message and many children don't make the connection to what they are doing and what you are doing to them. The "strong parenting" approach may (though often doesn't) work in the short term but can have pretty bad long term consequences for your relationship with your child. If you are interested in eventually having a close relationship with your child, then I would suggest other approaches. There are things that I thought my daughter would never stop doing but eventually she grew out of them - like flinging food around like a frisbee or spitting it out projectile style - ugg. Good luck.
My son is almost 11 months, and he loves to pull his sister's hair too. I just keep redirecting him and saying "don't pull hair" while I move him to a different area. He is too young to understand any other type of discipline. Corporal punishment, which we stay away from, is never recommended until around 18 months of age. The Discipline Book by Dr. Sears is a GREAT resource! Good Luck!
Try putting socks or mittens on his hands so he can not grab. You can also try putting a cap on her head when ever they are right by one another.
gently pull his so he knows what it feels like (if you can).
Pull his hair a couple of times. Not too hard, but let him know that it hurts, then maybe he will stop.
