11 Month Old Now Refusing the Bottle

Updated on April 30, 2008
A.C. asks from Aliso Viejo, CA
14 answers

I have breastfed my 11 month old son since birth. At 5 months old, I began giving him a bottle of formula before bed every night. He has always taken the bottle just fine, but the last few days he has been refusing it and only wanting to nurse. I have plans to leave town for two nights next weekend while my mother watches him and now I feel like he is going to have a hard time of it. I'm worried about leaving him now. I've only been away one other time for only one night and he did just fine. Should I still go away or opt to stay home with him? I'm kind of torn.

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone for the great advice. My husband and I did go out of town for the weekend and my son actually did very well with my mother. He did take the bottle but would only do so while sitting up and refused to lay in her arms (as he was doing with me). She was able to get him down to sleep and even nap twice a day. She said he was great all weekend. It looks like he's been putting on a little drama for mama!

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T.H.

answers from Las Vegas on

I had issues with my daughter and the bottle. Eventually she would get hungry and eat. What about a dippy cup?

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

A. before my advice, i have a question for you, why is your 11 month old using the breast or a bottle? most tot's at this age are using a cup. and usually on food by now so shouldn't need a bottle at bed time. I am an old school mom, but from 9 months to 1 year my babies had one bottle a day, and that was first thing in the morning while i was getting their cereal, but had 3 meals a day plus snacks, and were using a cup through out the day. I introduced to babies to a cup as soon as they could sit up. At 11 months old it is OK for him to start learning he can't have everything he wants. For me i would have never went away from my babies even for one night, but that was me. J. L mom for 24 years.

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C.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A.

Poor you! Don't feel guilty about leaving your son. Remember that our children feed off our emotions, so he probably feels how fretful you are at bedtime when you try to give him your bottle. They are clever little things, and he probably knows that if he creates enough of a fuss, you'll give in and nurse him. He'll also know that your mother isn't ABLE to nurse him so there is no point in making a fuss. My mother once said to me that a child will eat when they are hungry enough. Iused to worry when my daughter didn't eat enough during the day. But she was right. When she got hungry enough, she'd eat. Please try not to worry, your son will be fine.

You probably could do with a break away for 2 nights, so go away and have a good time. You are always on the end of a phone if there is a problem. And who knows, by having your mother there for 2 nights, she might solve the problem, and get him used to his bottles for when you get back. Be strong and good luck!

C. x

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E.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Try a sippy cup. My kids liked using them starting around 9 months old. You might just need to let him cry and get hungry enough to take the bottle. It's no fun, but at least you'd be with him to help him through it. Good luck!

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L.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A....

No worries!!! Does your little guy drink from a sippy cup? He's at the age when many babies give up the bottle and/or nursing, so as long as he's getting plenty of fluids with his meals and snacks, everything should be okay. Take some time for yourself and enjoy!!!

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C.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi-

I think he will do fine in terms of eating since he has only recently refused; my only concern might be him weaning while you are gone. So if you are trying to continue to breastfeed for a while you may want to stay, but if you don't mind weaning at this point, then go ahead and go. (He won't necessarily wean of course). I would definitely give him lots of cuddling- maybe he is missing the cuddling that goes along with nursing.

Good luck!

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S.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

First of all, good for you and your son for nursing to this point. As for the feeding part it will work itself out, because your son won't be expecting to nurse while under your mother's care, as he expects when he sees you. However, missing you will be an entirely different story. Has he spent alone time with Grandma? I ran into this situation with my in laws, and well let's just say, she hasn't offered since. I would give it a trial run, before you go next next week, if things don't work out through the night at least you'll be within reach to soothe and comfort if need be. Don't forget you'll also be adjusting without your son, and you may find out you miss him more than he'll miss you. Good luck, been there and still nursing at 21 months. :-)

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T.C.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

Hi A.,

I breast fed all four of my children. My older two did not ever take a bottle. With my younger two children, I made a point to make sure that they took bottles. Good for you that you introduced him to it, but also have continued nursing him. First off, I think you should continue with your plans to still go out of town (I am not sure what you are doing out of town. But if it is alone time with daddy, I think that you show your husband that he is important too and you guys need time to be together alone.) If the trip is business related, you probably do not have much of a choice. I would think that you feel pretty comfortable with your mom and I assume that your son knows your mom well. If he is comfortable and you trust her, I vote you still take your trip!

I would not be too worried about him refusing the bottle. He will not starve or go hungry. Just make sure that he is taking in what he needs (ask your ped how many times per day they suggest he nurse) food and nursing wise. Also, I would not look at the fact that he is refusing the bottle as a problem! I would just cut out that feeding in the evening first. But, if you do not feel that you have enough milk to do that at the end of the day, your body will adjust to accomodate him after a few days. I think it is great when the child "tells" you that he is ready to stop doing stuff like nursing or bottle feeding...(I think that might be what he is doing). You should listen to him. Do not force the issue...he will either take it from your mom or not and if he doesnt, I dont think it is a problem. Just make sure that he is getting enough calories during the day. Also, at a year he can change to regular milk (or has that changed in the last 6 years?) He might like that better than formula, just cuz it is new.

It also might alleviate your concern for him if you knew you had the option of coming home sooner, if you needed to. Is that a possibility? Your son will be just fine, it will be you who misses him more, probably.

Good luck and have fun on your trip.
T.

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M.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

I say, if he's hungry enough.....he'll eat. Don't worry. I would go anyway.

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M.S.

answers from San Diego on

Okay, I'm going to suggest the exact opposite from the others. I say continue breastfeeding and don't worry about the bottle. In fact you won't have to worry about weaning him from it later. Continue breastfeeding for as long as you plan, and also introduce a sippy cup if you haven't already. Give it to him as if it is somthing to play with rather than him knowing you "want" him to drink from it. It will happen eventually. I did this with all 3 of my sweet-ones and it worked out well.

I also think you might want to plan overnight trips away when your son is older and able to understand that you are coming back. At his age he will have no understaning of where you are and will feel abandoned. I understand that you need a break, so maybe plan a few evenings out, rather than weekends away.

Good Luck!

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K.R.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Hi A.,
Can you pump your breast and build up a reserve for him before you go? I would try to feed him breastmilk in a bottle and see if he just does not like the formula and the way it makes him feel. It is really h*** o* little ones to digest. Give that a whirl to see.

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S.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

I wouldn't worry. Your son will be fine. Go on your trip and have fun! My son never took a bottle and my aunt would feed him pumped breastmilk from a shot glass when he was 4 months old. At 11 months, your son will adjust. This is also a good age to introduce him to a cup. You may try that and help him "drink like a big boy". Also, I learned with my daughter that she had certain feeding habits with me, but when someone else was watching her those habits were absent. When I discovered this I just changed the habits and she was okay with it. It wasn't an issue anymore. Again, I would go on the trip and your son may surprise you! Good luck!

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A.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I know that when I was trying to wean my wee one from nursing before bedtime, it was easier to have my husband rock my son to sleep. You may want to try that if it's possible. Or if your mother's available to come over at night, you may want to try having her put your little one to sleep. Give both of them some time to adjust to each other before you leave them together for a couple of nights. If you still don't feel right, don't go. You'll only fret over it while you're gone and your money would be better spent on just a night out together.

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T.K.

answers from Honolulu on

How about pumping your breast milk in the bottle? But before you give him the bottle maybe you could let him see you pumping your brest milk into the bottle. Do you think that might help?

T.

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