10.5 Month Still Waking and Need to Wean Paci and Bottle Soon,no? When and How?

Hi M.,
Most kids don't wean from those things until after a year. Mine didn't give up her paci until she was 3. Relax, he's still just a baby. I would wait & see how he's sleeping at 12 months, then give it a try.

Sounds like things are pretty difficult and heated right now. Others may disagree but I think you should step back and get the kid sleeping without a lot of contact from you. So give him his bottle and paci back ...throw out your plans to wean by a certain date. Once everyone is sleeping again come up with a plan to wean first from the bottle. I don't think you need to wean him from the paci any time soon as long as he just uses it at night. Some kids just need that at night - one of mine had a paci (his "bim-bim") until his 4th birthday. He is 14 now with no cavities and pretty straight teeth and so far as I know hasn't started chain smoking or anything yet. As for the afternoon nap, probably you don't want to stretch much more than 3 hours in between when he gets up from nap and then goes down for the night. Remember: the more they sleep - the more they sleep!!

Good luck...soon you'll look back at this and laugh....not really but you will look back at it and be glad that its over!!

All of my kids have been cut off cold turkey from the bottle on their first birthday. They had it the day before, the day of, they didn't any longer. I had gotten them down to 1-2 bottles per day before this just by giving sippy cups constantly and feeding real food more up until the big day. I'd stick to your guns on this one.
The pacifier isn't such a big deal.. my pediatrician even says that they make them so orthodontic-like now that they really don't interfere with proper teeth growth. I would put your child to bed with either the pacifier that you can clip to his pj's so he knows where it is and can soothe himself back to sleep with it or if you don't like the cord idea (and I'm not too fond of it myself) then put him in the bed with a ton of pacifiers so if he drops one he can find another one. Let him find them and he will eventually go back to sleep. They even make ones that glow in the dark now so they are easier for them to find. My 20 month old still wants her pacifier occasionally at night. I sometimes put 10 in her crib with her when I put her down so I'm not going back in there to give her one. They will grow out of this one eventually.. I'd say my daughter wants it maybe twice a week now for bedtime and naps. All of them have slept through the night by 3 months old. I just slowly let the time be longer that I would go in to soothe them until my time range was longer than theirs was. They don't need any night time feedings after this age and they soon learn that it's time to sleep and not eat.
Good luck.

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, by Dr. Marc Weissbluth will answer all your sleep questions. It became like a bible for us with our two.
I wouldn't remove paci or bottle, until you get him sleeping through the night - that is the most important.
The best time to remove the paci is when they start cutting their top two front teeth and spit it out b/c it hurts. It worked for our youngest. With the oldest, we missed that window and she had til she was three. Both are fine. Teeth and mouth development are normal.
With regard the bottle, they say a 1 year, but as a parent you need to use your best judgement. If it winds up being 14 mos. before you can eliminate it, so what?
Good luck.

I know it is frustrating for your son to get up at night but some kids are like that. My son was over one before he slept through the night and sometimes he still gets up. I would feed him but I would try diluting his formula. At that age they don't need to eat it just becomes a habit and sometimes we create that habit (but that is perfectly okay we as parents just pay the price not them.) Gradually dilute the formula for a couple days do 2 1/2 scoops (with a 6 oz bottle just an example) and gradually every couple days do less until its just water. If it a pacy that he wants let him have it. My son or my daughter wont take one and it sucks. I tried everything with my son letting him cry it out, check on him every 5 minutes nothing worked. Does he hold his own bottle?? I know many people will disagree but with my son we would give him his bottle in bed and let him hold it I noticed that he wouldn't even drink it all compared to if we held him he would drink the whole thing. You don't have to do that its just a suggestion... it worked for me. I know it might seem like it will never end. I was 5 months pregnant when my son was ten months old and it was horrible. But it does end )unless you have another one like me.

Enjoy him while he is young because they grow up way too fast and then you wonder where the time went.
Good Luck

I just wanted to reaffirm that an older toddler with a paci was not in my plan but that's how it ended up working out and everything is ok. She is a well adjusted,happy kid with straight teeth. Just after she turned 4 she said: I'm going to throw out my "nuk-nuk." She got up , put it in the garbage and an hour later decided she wanted it back. I fished it out, cleaned it thoroughly, and gave it back to her. This seemed to reassure her that she hadn't backed herself into a corner and that I would let her change her mind. The next morning she put it in the garbage for good with no prompting from me.

There is a lot of pressure to hit milestones at a certain pace but that is not always what is right for the child, the family. The good thing about waiting until kids are older for certain things (like weaning, potty training, etc.) is that they understand better, you can read them books about the topic, have conversations, and ultimately the actual process is a lot shorter (and therefore less of a hassle).

good luck.

(Sorry no advice on the bottle - I didn't bottle feed)

We weaned from paci's by 10 months but my son still wakes up at 3 years old to be consoled and my 8 month old is up atleast 8 times a night, it's just what we do, having a baby means losing sleep and it definitely does for us but I refuse to make them cry for hours because they need comfort. I wouldn't take his paci away if it is that important to him as my kids don't really care about them one way or the other. My 8 month old wakes up from her last nap at 5 and goes to bed at 8.
(sorry can't help with the bottles, we have never used them)

M.,

I am a dentist practicing in Franklin Park. I write a monthly column on various dental topics in tne Fra Noi an Italian-American newspaper. One of my columns was about babys an pacifiers. If you would like a copy of the article, contact me at ###-###-#### or ____@____.com.

Sincerely,

Dr. D. R. Pietrini

Take a deep breath. My suggestion is to pick your battles. Wean off the bottle (give sippy cups constantly - starting with the soft spouts - try different kinds). Forget about the passifier - let him have this for now. He is still a baby, and this may help you during this nightime transition. When I weaned my then 10 month old she was waking and only consoled by nursing. I made sure she was good and fed before bed time and then if she got up and cried i'd go in after abou 10-15 minutes "Shhhhh" and cuddles "sleepy time", if that was not enough for her to calm, it was back to bed. I stopped running iin immediately every time she cried. Eventually she figured it out. I also put in the small stuffed doggy, passifier (she does not really take it) and soft blanket. She is now a year old and often cuddles the blanket and doggy to sleep - and knows what "sleepy time" means. i do the routine for naps too. Sometimes she does still cry when i put her to bed (I think she does not want to miss anything), but for 5 minutes the most.
Make sure he is nice and full at bed time, give him the passi, his doggy, say good night. It will be a couple of hard nights, but it will get better. Things always get messed up when they are sick or because of travel. You just start the routine again and he'll get it. It is the routine that will get him to understand what is coming next and eventually accept it. Good Luck!

#1 I see a very well respected pediatric dentist and she says that the pacifier is perfectly fine as long as your child only uses it for sleep after all the teeth are in. She said that during wake periods, the pacifier should be put away. We are weaning my daughter who is 3 1/2 and she is doing just fine, and her teeth look perfect according to out dentist.

#2 The bottle should officially be weaned by the age of 2. I am a teacher and was nanny for many years. I always start weaning the bottle at the age of 1 and you should slowly take the bottle away at each feeding. I always saved the last feeding of the day for the bottle until they are about 20 months, then I took that bottle away too. Try all kinds of sippy cups and do the process month by month. Slowly take the bottle away at each feeding. Also don't be affraid to try straw cups, that worked wonders for my daughter. She did not like any of the other sippy cups, but loved drinking from a straw.

#3 I have seen many different types of sleep issues. All kids are different, some sleep through the night from birth on, while others do not sleep through the night until they are 1. These are a few tips to follow, but your child may still get up during the night.
Always put your baby to bed between 7:30 and 9:00, try to stick with a nice calming routine and always keep it about the same routine every night.
Don't let them sleep past 5:00 PM for naps. Try to keep them up from 5:00 till bedtime.
They should have one to three naps during the day and try to have them fall at the same times every day. Routine naps always help aid in sleeping through the night. But don't let them sleep too much during the day, try to keep it at only about 4 hours of napping at the age of 10 months, and the naps should slowly become shorter and less frequent as they get older.
If he wakes during the night first try to calm him down and give him his pacifier, never turn on the lights and speak very quietly and softly. You should let him cry for at least 10 minutes and try the process all over again. If none of this works then give him a very small snack bottle, you do not want him to see it as one of his regular feedings, just a snack to help him fall asleep. If it is teething that is causing him to wake, then a little motrin or tylenol will be perfectly safe and help him get through the teething pain. I know I can't sleep with a terrible headache, why should we make babies sleep through teething pain because we are affraid of giving them a little medicine.
Try these ideas, I wish you luck, I know it is hard. As my mother always told me, "This too shall pass."

Let him have his paci. Good grief, it's not a test of character. Just let him have what comforts him. If it bothers you to see it, tell him it's just for bedtime/naptime. Especially if he had colic - maybe he's a kid who needs a little more soothing, and that's ok, you know? He will become more secure and comfortable as he gets older.

I personally wouldn't do a night feeding at this age, just because their bodies then expect those calories at night and they get hungry. What I did when I had that problem was to gradually (over 3 or 4 days) add more water to the middle of the night bottle. They eat more during the day to make up for it, but it's not so sudden that they're really hungry the first night.

I would wean him off the bottle first. When he is a year old I would cut out a bottle feeding every two days starting with the least favorite. Putting real milk in there is easier for them to adjust than having formula in the sippy.
The paci thing I let my kids have it until they are about five. My dentist says that as long as there aren't any permanent teeth it won't affect the teeth. Because their mouth is still growing whatever my happen with buck teeth or whatever with the paci it corrects itself within a few months after no more paci. so with having said that we start at age 4 making it a rule to only have it at bed time. then we talk about how they want to get rid of it. my last one put them in a bag and hung it on the tree for the tooth fairy to get it and she left him a bag with a prize in place of the pacifiers. I also at age 4 start to cut them down the middle. So that they still look intact but when put in the mouth you can't suck on it anymore. We would save them because my kids would rub them on their noses. I didn't care of they did that and they wouldn't put it in their mouth becasue it just didn't work anymore.
Do not fee him at all at night. At 3 months of age their body is able to go all night without feeding in the middle of the night. At this late stage you will have to be strong and do a cry it out method. When he wakes go into his room, do not pick him up, lay him back down give him his paci (see why you can't give that up yet) and then rub his back until he is very drowsy and then leave. He will cry again give him 5 minutes and then go back in do the reassuring thing again and then leave. Each time you add a few minutes on to the time that you stay out of his room before going in again. The first night is going to be hell and he will eventually fall asleep because of exhaustion. Then each night the time it takes will get less and less until eventually you don't have him crying at all. The first night may take up to an hour or so. So be prepared to follow through and be strong. Your success depends on it.
With the mother in law why don't you talk to her about some of these ideas and see what she says. this may give her a feeling that she is helping you and perhaps talk to you about this stuff instead of your husband. If your husband knows you are talking to her about it he may then follow your lead more because you are 'seeking advice from his mommy'. Then do it the way best works for you and your baby of course talking to your husband about it and also giving him all the altneratives so you can both work together and are both aware of all the different things that you could be doing. The most important thing is that you pick one and stick to it. Eventually it all works out.

M.,

My only advice on the sleeping thru the night is that sometimes you just have to make them cry themselves to sleep. It may take 2-3 sleepness nights in a row...but once they realize that you don't pick them up once they cry...they learn to comfort themselves. My youngest who is 2 1/2 still gets up 1-2 nights at times. My problem...is I feel I have to comfort him right away so that he doesn't wake his older brother up who goes to school. However...the 2-3 sleepless nights worked perfectly for my older son! Now...I just have to figure out how to work on my youngest son!

As far as the paci is concerned. I personally think children should not have them after 2. My son was very attached to it the longer he had it and I feared taking it away. My goal was to have it taken away at 1 year which is the same time I take the bottle away from my kids. My husband ended up cutting the end of the paci off at 18 months and it worked perfectly! My son would pick it up and put it in his mouth...get ticked off and throw it down. He was over the paci in 1 day!

Good Luck!

I also have a 10.5 month old, but have been incredibly lucky with sleeping through the night for quite some time. She is awake for usually 3 hrs. at a time before each nap (2 naps a day that vary in time, but never for more than 1 1/2 - 2hrs....that's just HER schedule). She eats dinner about 2 hrs. before bedtime. Sometimes she might need a bottle right before bed too, but not that often. So, I know her tummy is nice and full.

My little girl also takes a paci at nap and bedtime. I'm not too concerned about when to break her of it. I believe we will figure that out when the time is right for us...not according to the books or anyone else, although the timeframes do help for when to start trying to wean. They're still such babies at this stage. I give her a paci and her cuddly kitty. I turn on the sound machine, air purifier and nightlight and immediately walk out of the room, leaving her door cracked open a little. Sometimes she requires a little cuddling, but when she starts to want to crawl all over me I put her back in her crib with paci and kitty and walk out again.

One last thing...make sure your little one burns LOTS of energy throughout the day. I have my little girl follow me all over, instead of picking her up and taking her room to room with me. I just stand there and wait and coax her along. Each room has some toys in it, and she knows where they all are. So, when I need to accomplish something, no matter what room I'm in she has toys to keep her busy, and I've got my eye on her the entire time...that's not to say the playpen and exersaucer don't come in super handy.

This is what's worked for me so far. Good luck to you!