I'm reeling, my daughter got her first period last night. She took it exceptionally well- I had been trying to prepare her for the last few months. I'm not sure whether I should make a big deal out of this or just treat it like an every day occurance. I bought her a box of chocolate covered cherries and a card but I'm wondering if I should do more. She's getting ready to go live with her dad in a few weeks and I just want to make sure she's prepared completely to handle this. She has a step mom that will be there and they have a very good relationship but I don't know if there's more I should do. Any suggestions are appreciateed.
Thank you all for your advice, we have had the sex talk so often and frequently that she dreads the subject. I have to laugh because I remember getting the talk from my parents and I've never been so uncomfortable in my life so we talk about it whenever the mood strikes and I treat it like every other conversation we have so she doesn't feel trapped like I did. She was okay with me telling her dad and my mom and she knows that I'm going to be talking to her step mom but she doesn't want anyone else to know and I say that's just fine. She's doing really well and all of your advice helped ME get through it.
Hi, That was sweet to buy her swwets. Treat her as if it is another day, so when she goes on with life it just come normal. Talk to her about it. Tell her what it is doing to ehr body in simple ways. Hate to tell you but this is good time as any to talk to ehr about sex too because kids learn earlier than we did.
This is from a single mom of 4 and two are girls.
M.,
I think what you've done is great. I have 12 year old twin girls and one started her period when she was 2 days shy of her 9th birthday. I was stunned! I never expected it to happen that soon. Then the other one got hers when she was 10.
I think they tend to handle it better than we do..lol...we see it as a sign that they're growing up..and that can be scary..or for me at least!
It sounds like she's got alot of support and that'll be just what she needs.
Good Luck!
C.
When my daughter started last yr in Oct. I let her stay home from school that day and her and I stayed in bed together all day eating chocolate and watching soaps lol.. I was so exxcited.. Although I hate it now because hse is so much more moodier then ever before lol...I was on the phone crying to my mom which she did not like so if you just have to tell your mom or a friend or a sister do it carefully lol.. Mine has 2 older brothers and younger sisters and the boys figured it out and ragged her bad about it but after yelling at them they have stopped other then when its that time and the boys yell.. Its that TOM. Which means Time Of Month lol.. so its a cover up for most and she is ok with it!! Do let he rfather know with out her knowing that she has started. It is a mildstone for him to and let the step mom know so that she has what she needs when she goes and dont have to tell anyone if she feels odd. Just see if the step mom will get everything and tell her when she gets there that she had gone and done some shopping and got some things for her. Get other things to like some new bath soaps and things so its not so out there..
Congrates!!! Cherish everything NOW as your little baby girl is now a little lady and HAS to be treated as one lol so I am learning!!! I still have 3 more girls to go through this with and I cant wait!!!
Good Luck!!
S
Wow that is young. I think what you have done with the chocolates and card is good and I would leave it at that. But I would take the time to make sure that she understands everything about having her period, including sex. I hear more stories everyday about children 10-14 getting pregnant and often I wonder if they even knew that they could. I would make sure she understands that this is a very important time in her life and that shortly she is going to start noticing changes. Make sure she knows all about puberty and about what is going to happen. I am sure that she will be able to call you, or ask her step mom, but the more she is aware of the better prepared she will be.
M.,
I am currently going through this with my 11 year old. It was harder on me than it was for her. She knew the time was coming because I have always talked to her about it. I think being open with children is a great thing, especially when it comes to things that are going to happen to them and their bodies. You did a great thing when you got her chocolate and a card. I unfortunatly was not able to do that for my daughter, but if I had been able to I think I would have kept her home and took her shopping the next day.
You should make sure that her step mom and her dad know so that they will not be surprised when she starts the next time. Make sure you try to keep this on a down low since your daughter may be embarassed right now. She is going to be mourning her childhood for a little while and may not want to talk to anyone, but that is normal (I locked myself in our bathroom for 4 hours and cried when I first started). Make sure that your daughter knows that you are just a phone call away if she needs to talk (yes she has her step mom, but nothing replaces the security of your own mother).
Hang in there, just by being supportive and letting her know its not the end of the world it enough. The box of chocolates was a nice touch! I have been lucky so far, my daughter is 11 and still doesnt have hers, but we have talked about it so much shes just like whatever. She isnt sweating it.. so just remember to keep it light so she wont feel like shes cursed (even though we all really do feel that way about it sometimes! LOL!)
I saw this and read it more out of curiosity. I have a daughter who will be 9 in 2 days, I don't anticipate her starting until she's closer to 12 or 13...around the time I did. But I remember being embarassed to tell my mom, she found out when she noticed that some of her pads were missing and then she asked me. She seemed kind of hurt that I didn't tell her when it started but we never talked about that stuff. I do talk to my daughter...and reading this has given me some ideas of what to do for her when the time comes. One thing I thought about while reading responses was, it would be nice to have a mother/daughter weekend somewhere..doing something you both enjoy. My daughter is a horse nut, so I'd like to maybe take her to the mountains where I can rent a cabin for a couple days and take her horseback riding. Maybe by then I can afford to have gotten her some riding lessons, lol.
Hi M.,
What you've done sounds good. Because she's going to stay with her Dad, make sure she packs some supplies "just in case" since you don't know what her cycle will be. She can pack them where or in a way that her Dad won't see them if she wants to. I would make a discrete call to her stepmom and let her know what's going on so that, if needed, she can be supportive without being shocked and unprepared. No need to make too big a deal out of it, it is an every day occurance. Congratulate her on her initiation into womanhood! Good luck to you!!
Hi M.,
Congratulations first of all. I would not done anything different. Just reassure your daughter that this is a first step of becoming a young woman. Explain to her the shifts in hormones and emotional rollercoster she will be experiencing. Tell her that she can always talk to you or her stepmom. I think you handle it wonderfully. I would also talk to her stepmom and tell her that she may have questions regarding this event in her life and to help her coup with any discomfort she may have. Good Luck.
this may sound a little different...when my girl started, we had her a period party..with evertthing red,red cake,balloons,etc.i only invited the people that she was close to,,family and friends,,she had a book that all wrote different things about their experiences for her to keep,,it was really a good time,,she enjoyed it and has not forgoten anything she has learned
I think the chocolate & card was very nice. I took my daughter out to dinner. We dressed up so she felt like a young lady & had a nice dinner. I think no matter what you do they will grow up & remember & you just started a tradition in your daughters life for her daughter one day. Good luck & God Bless You & your daughter.
Well you did the right thing. I started mine when I was 10 also. It was horrible for me. My sister went and told everyone at school. My mom was supported of me the whole way. It is hard for girls, when they start early. Most of there classmates haven't started. Just let her know there is nothing wrong with it, and she is becomming a woman early. Let her know you know how she feels, and if she needs you at all, you will be there for her. Talk to your ex husband wife and let her know, so she can be pepared to handle it. But let her know not to make a big deal about it. You can, but not her!
Hi, I'm new to the group and I am excited to be a part of thsi network! As for you M., use this as a teaching and sharing moment. This can be a very crucial time, especially for a 10 year old. Go over every sceneriao with her and talk to her how to handle it (accidents, cramps, hygeine, etc). Be sure she carries a purse all the time now, instead of on her "P"days. Boys can be so cruel at this time. Most of all, help her to stay comfortable and get on a schedule. Keeping a calendar so she can be prepared.
S.
It is something to be celebrated and if the step-mom is not aware of your daughter's period starting the two of you need to talk. Some women are not comfortable talking about such private things so you need to make sure the step-mom is there and available to your daughter for help and advice.
Also make sure your daughter is aware that if she has any strong or what feels like unbearable symptoms or pain during her period to let you are the step mom know since there is all types of wearable heating pads and over the counter medicines she can take, she doesn't have to suffer or be embarrassed.
