10 Month Old Waking up During the Night

Updated on November 09, 2010
C.T. asks from Orange Park, FL
9 answers

My 10 month old has started waking up during the night. When she wakes up she is always crying sitting upright in her crib. This is unusual for her as she has slept through the night since she was 3 months. When she wakes up I take her out of her crib and put her in the bed with me and she goes straight to sleep. I thought it maybe because she is teething but if this is the case, why then would she go straight back to sleep when she is in the bed with me? When I try to put her back in her crib she immediately wakes up and starts to cry. Could it be she is going through separation anxiety? Please help! This has been happening every night for the past week. I don't want to start bad habits by putting her in the bed with me, but as I work full time and have to get up in the morning, I just want to go back to bed!!! Help!

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T.D.

answers from Daytona Beach on

My son went through the same thing about the same age. I think it is more of wanting comfort. I started giving him teething tablets, two, right before bed. When he would sit up, I would wait a few minutes to see if he was actually up, or just moving around. Even now at 16 months he sits up in the middle of the night, but does it for a second and falls back down. I didn't put him in bed with us when he got up. I would sit with him for a few, and try to put him down. If it was really bad then I would give him two more teething tablets. It's hard to say what exactly it is but my son's was teething. Good luck.

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T.F.

answers from Orlando on

My son did this around the same age. He is such a great sleeper that I freaked out and thought something must be wrong so I picked him up... and he put his head on me and fell right back to sleep. Same thing the next night... so I said to myself, "What am I doing???" He needed to figure out that I was NOT going to pick him up in the middle of the night, and I especially was NOT going to take him back to my bed. So I went into his room and laid him back down and said it was night night time. Boy was he MAD!!!!!! Screamed his head off!!! But I knew he was fine and just mad. I let him scream for only a few minutes, then went back in and laid him down again and quietly told him it was night night time and walked out. I waited only a few minutes again and kept going back in and laying him back down until he figured out that was all that was going to happen. The next night, he woke around the same time. I only had to lay him back down ONCE and he got it that it was pointless. The next night, I heard a teeny peep on the monitor around the same time, but he fell right back to sleep.

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E.L.

answers from Tallahassee on

Wow, C., you and I are in the same exact world right now! I'm about to go absolutely crazy because my daughter (8 mos) is doing the same thing. She is teething and has issues with it daily, so of course my natural instinct is it's her teeth and all I want to do is sleep! She ends up in our bed and the pattern continues. Last night, she started spasing about 9:45 and I go to bed at 10.... I didn't get in the bed until 10:45 because I refused to let her win last night! Now it's becoming a competition. I can't let her win or she'll forever run over me. Unfortunately the down side of fighting this is the lack of sleep, but according to most moms this struggle is only temporary and eventually they give up. Granted, I did give in at 4:25 this morning when she was standing in her pack n play screaming at the top of her lungs, but that was selfish on my part. She's got to get into her own room before I lose it! I think you and I need to get tough, make the girls stay in their bed, and EVENTUALLY we will prevail!!! There is always hope ..... :)

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T.S.

answers from Panama City on

C.,
10 to 18 months is the time for separation anxiety. I would suggest spending a lot of one on one time with her for about an hour before bed time, just cuddling and playing together. And then, when she wakes up at night, give her comfort by rubbing her tummy or her back and then shush her for a few minutes and say "Go night night" quietly and gently.
The reason she goes back to sleep with you is b/c she is comforted by your touch and scent. However, unless you are willing to allow her to stay in your bed for a long time, I would try and stick to your guns for a few weeks until she realizes that she must stay in her bed. Give her comfort, but be consistent in your decision, whatever you choose, so you don't confuse her.
Don't fight her as if there is a battle to be won, just be her teacher and teach her the rules and that you are the authority who enforces those rules. Don't take the easy way out and throw the rules out the window simply for your temporary comfort. Parenting takes a lot of time, effort, and discipline (self and child). If you know how you want things to be, then you will need to make some amount of temporary sacrifice in order to get it done. But the results are well worth the time spent.

Take Care,
T. (mother of 4)

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M.B.

answers from Pensacola on

I think it must be the age. My son went thru that a few months ago at the same age. I did the same thing as you and would put him in bed with me. I gradually started to get away from that by holding him for while then putting him in bed and then that turned into hugging him while he was standing and then laying him back down and staying with him until he drifted off. Now when he wakes up (which is rare these days) I can just go in and help him lay back down and he goes to sleep by himself. I really wouldn't worry about it. I think it is a separation thing and it will pass. Hang in there!

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D.W.

answers from Phoenix on

At 10 months, there are development changes in the brain that cause the waking up and screaming. Don't go in there, your baby will go back to sleep.

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J.P.

answers from Tallahassee on

It sounds like she has learned that if she cries in the middle of the night, then she will get to go to bed with mommy. I did the same thing with my one-year-old. He started doing this the same time yours did, and I thought teething? anxiety? getting sick? Whatever it was, I fell for it! Because I would always bring him to bed with me - not that I minded, I just didn't want to make it a habit.
So I finally started off bringing him into bed with me, and as soon as he would dose off, I brought him back to his bed. Then a few nights of that, I would just change his diaper, and cuddle him, and lay him back down. It took up to a week, but whatever the reason, he is now sleeping through the night peacefully again!

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K.W.

answers from Orlando on

My son is 3 and we have been through this a couple of times--he is normally such a good sleeper and so when he wakes up crying--there must be something wrong so we go in there. And at first, there may be--maybe she is teething, but after you start going in there-she will continue to get used to this until her clock gets set to wake up at that time and she of course, wants you there instead of sleeping so she will continue to wake and cry even when nothing is actually wrong.
My son was just sick recently and got used to waking up and me taking him to sleep with me (he had a really high fever for a few days) but even after he got better-he kept waking up. I brought this up to my pediatrician and he told me not to go int there--if he wasn't sick when he went to bed and during the day then chances are he is fine and only just wants me to come in there when he actually needs to sleep. If I needed to go in there and check on him, then be as quiet as possible--no positive reinforcement. So the next night this is exactly what I did--and he cried--loudly, screaming... The second night, same, but less crying nd not as long, the third night--he was sleeping through the night again. Could I have gone in there and gotten him to sleep sooner the first two nights? Sure, but then I woudn't have gotten him to the point where he was sleeping through the night on the third night (and from then on)-it took two nights of not so good sleep to get to everyone sleeping through the night which was totally worth it.
So, IF you think she is teething, go in there, give her some montrin or tylenol and then leave--quickly, quietly. If not, then just don't go in there! Sometimes we have to retrain them (and ourselves) how to sleep through the night..

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M.P.

answers from Orlando on

C., my daughter is 1 week away from being 10 months and we went through the same thing you are a couple of months ago. Your daughter is probably teething like my daughter was and just currently got her 2 top teeth :) I completely understand where you are coming from; when my daughter was waking up at 4:30 in the morning every day I too could not get her soothed to sleep quickly and brought her to the bed (I work also and had to get the last hour or so of sleep). I have to say that she got out of it on her own after a week or so. Now she hardly wakes up in the middle of the night but when she does we do not pick her up. We actually let her cry it out and after a few minutes she has herself back to sleep. Whatever method you used to train her to sleep is what you need to implement at this time also. Try not to pick her up and if you have to just lay her back down, rub her back and tell her nighty night, mommy loves you, it's time to sleep and what ever is soothing to her. good luck to you and know that this too will pass - I hope that you both get a full nights sleep again.

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