10 Month Old Waking for 2 Hours at Night

Tell them both that you are going to let the baby cry it out. Go in and lay her back down in 5 minutes, then wait ten minutes, then fifteen minutes, etc This method works very well and if hubby and MIL don't like that - they can get up with her and you should be in earplugs!

K., a 10 month old can't go without a nap. This poor baby is exhausted. When infants are overtired, this can affect their sleep and make them sleep LESS not MORE. A baby under a year old typically naps twice a day. You don't need an absolute to the minute rigid schedule, but MIL needs to be meeting your child's needs, and she needs to nap just as she needs to eat regularly. Why isn't MIL putting her down for a nap? If MIL is there to take care of her, she needs to do the caretaking. The lack of nap is keeping you up at night, and as a working mom, that's exhausting (it's exhausting for any mom). Also, you may think about switching the rooming arrangements or simply let MIL deal with the fact that if you live in a house with a baby, sometimes there will be crying during the night, because you're setting yourself up to deal with a bad habit for a long period of time. Why are you the only one who should be up during the night and exhausted during the day at work?

Start by letting MIL know that a morning nap and afternoon nap are not optional. If she's not napping the baby and the baby is waking at night, I'd say that either she needs to deal with the baby during the night or that you need to look into other childcare options

Teething can wreck havoc on sleeping schedules! But letting her play is only making it worse. Have a sit down talk with MIL and daddy, and let them know they're going to have to wear ear plugs for a few nights. Your little one won't go back to a regular sleeping schedule unless you stay consistent, and make sure she knows night time is for sleeping. Worrying about them judging you must be so aggravating, when you're already up all night with her (and have to go to work the next day too)!

I know it stinks, but you're probably going to have to let her fuss some. If you stay consistent with this, it won't take long before she figures it out. Just a night or two! Also, give her motrin before bed!

PS Give MIL a schedule for her to follow. Your daughter should probably be taking two solid naps a day! Otherwise, she's going to be so overtired...night time is bound to be a mess. :(

I would suggwst getting "Becoming Baby Wise" - it's been AMAZING for us. I think baby DEFINITELY needs a schedule. My son used to do the same thing! Now...we wake up, eat, play, sleep...and do that 3-4 times a day, and he sleeps great at night.

good luck!!

She is badly in need of a sleep schedule. She sounds to me like she is very overtired. It sounds backwards, but the more sleep she gets during the day and the earlier she goes to bed, the better and longer she will sleep at night. This is a universal thing with babies and young children. She should be waking around 7, napping at 9:30 or 10, then again in the afternoon around 1 or 1:30 and going to bed at 7. (Yes, 7 pm. You have so much time to yourself. It's great for both of you!)
Have your MIL do the same schedule every day and put her to bed with a specific routine similar to this: change diaper/clothes etc, turn off the main light in the room and turn on a little lamp, sit down in a chair in your daughter's bedroom with her favorite stuffed animal or a little blanket (my son loves his- it's only about 12" by 12" so there is no sids risk with it) read a book, turn off all lights, give her a bottle, cuddle her for a few minutes then put her down in the crib. Then let her try to fall asleep on her own. If she wakes up in the middle of the night, let her stay in there for a little while and give her a chance to fall back to sleep before you go in. There is a difference between crying it out and letting her whine or make noise in her crib. Just because she is awake does not mean you have to go in and get her. Now if she is really crying then of course go comfort her, but don't stay in her room and rock her forever. Don't speak to her and keep it short and sweet- less than 5 minutes. Change her diaper, hold her for a few minutes to calm her and then put her down. And don't give in and bring her into your bed or take her out of her room when she wakes up because she will start to learn that if she cries enough she will get to come into your bed. She is old enough to put herself to sleep. The stuffed animal or blanket should help. Studies have shown that the more intervention on the part of the parents, the more children have sleep issues. Read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weisbluth for more information. Yes, he has a cry-it-out plan, but for people who don't want to do that, he also gives you no-cry options. He has really great information that really helped us when my son was younger.
You can also ask your pediatrician what kind of medication you can give at night for teething pain. We give my son Motrin if he wakes up more than once at night when he is teething. We try not to do it unless it's really clear that he is in pain and can't fall asleep without it.
And just as an FYI- don't listen to Maxine about the BabyWise book. It was condemned by the American Academy of Pediatrics when it first came out in the 90's and was written by a pastor with no medical knowledge. It basically says that babies (even newborns) are little manipulators who need to be controlled in every aspect of their lives right from birth. Any pediatrician will tell you that this is dangerous. It has been linked to failure to thrive and low weight in babies.

Yes, she needs naps to sleep well at night. Sleep begets sleep.

She may be having an issue of not being able to put herself back to sleep when she wakes. Every human goes through sleep cycles where we are more and less awake while we sleep. When we are transisitoning from one cycle to the next things can wake us up - teething, outside noises, etc. Adults can generally fall back to sleep without a problem - babies not so much. So you need to help her learn. I am against cry-it-out anyway, and you mentioned you wouldn't do it b/c of MIL's room.

So let me suggest you read The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. She explains sleep cycles and why your child might be waking at certain intervals. She also gives great ideas on how to get your child to put themselves to sleep. I had a perfect sleeper until about 7 months when her daycare didn't keep her on a good nap schedule and then she started being up a ton at night. I evertually read this book, put it into action, and I now have a great sleeping child. It was a godsend!

Good luck!

Dear K.,
I totally understand! We went through this with our son at that exact same age. I tried everything. I had so many different suggestions, from so many different people, including the...you just have to let him cry...and cry....and cry... etc. I did not have the reasons to not let him cry forever like you do, but despite the advice, I knew that is not what he needed.

It sounds like she could greatly benefit a sleep schedule, for sure... but my son was on one, as I was a stay home mom. And yet, he was still up every 2 hours. Just saying that that may not be the whole answer...

There is s tendency in the world of parenting to think our child is just manipulating us, and we fear that we are allowing him or her to set a terrible pattern. And sometimes that may be the case, but if you struggle with those thoughts, I would resist them.

Our son is now 18 and I know that love never fails, and that there have been a number of times, including 10 months old, where he just needed us to be there for him. He needed our soothing and comfort during a painful and difficult time - whether physical pain (teething) or emotional (insecurity, etc).

If you believe in God and would like some additional spiritual suggestions that worked for us, let me know.

You are doing a good job and seem like a great mom!
MA

Try putting her on a schedule. Come up with one when you're at work and have your MIL follow it. Having structure helps the little ones. Also, skip the naps. Are you use your MIL is not putting her for naps during the day? One thing I noticed about my baby was that when we cut her naps, she started sleeping better (and going to sleep really fast) although she still wakes up at night to feed.
Good luck.

First, it sounds like she needs a sleep schedule! Babies thrive on routine. She really should be taking a nap about 2 hours after waking for about an hour and then again after lunch, for an hour or so (mine always sleep about 2 hours). this will help with the night-time sleeping.

Second, you said she is teething? Have you tried giving tylenol or some other kind of relief for the teeth? This could be what's keeping her up, she's in pain! Just a thought!
Good luck!

Hi K.,
What a dilemna you must be exhausted! I would definitely suggest to get her on a schedule. It will take a while for it to work, so don't give up. I would give her 2 naps a day. One in the morning around 10 for about 45min. and another one in the afternoon around 1:30-2 for about an hour. At night, I would put her to bed around 8:30. If she wakes at 7:30 that will give her a good 11 hrs. worth of sleep. I think an over-tired baby is very difficult to get to sleep because they fight it more instead of just giving in. This has always worked for me, especially when baby-sitting. They were a lot more pleasant to be around when they were well rested than if they didn't sleep and slept better(so did I). My daughter took two naps a day until she was well over a year. Than she took 2-3 hour power naps in the afternoon. Thier sleep cycles will change as they get older as they are not continually growing, they go through growth spurts instead, but there is a period in between when they stop growing as much. Your daughter might have hit that period.

K.,

Sleep begets sleep. Schedule isn't as important as routine, and sleep is definitely an issue if she is not sleeping at night! She *should* be in the 12 hour range.

If you are against Tylenol/Motrin, Arnica may be within your scope of homeopathic remedies.

You might consider baby-wearing when you are home, too - a sling or backpack.

I remember my son's first 6 months were crying often through the night - with a husband whose sleep was more important.

At 10 months it is not unrealistic to have 2 naps.

It sounds like your MIL is not tuned in to your daughter's cues though - if she is tired during the day - and wants to keep her busy instead of the hassle of letting her fall asleep, or rock her asleep (assumption, yes, but sounds like it from your note).

Pain relief generally = sleep. Daytime or nighttime.

Good luck,
M.