10 Month Old Still Not Sleeping Thru the Night

Updated on January 15, 2010
M.O. asks from South Milwaukee, WI
13 answers

My 10 month old is still waking up twice a night, and now this week she is sick and is waking up 3 times a night. Usually you just have to sit with her and she drinks her 4-5 oz bottle while she's half asleep, and has no problem going back in her crib and right to sleep. But I'm tired already. Between getting up every hour to use the toilet for the whole 9 mos i was pregnant and now the last 10 mos 2-3 times a night, I've had enough. She is a small child, healthy and smart, but small (5th percentile). The doctor has no advice for me except "deal with it" basically. He says she is small and hungry and most likely has a high motabolisim so feed her cause she's hungry. She won't drink more than 5 oz so i can't try offering her more and she does appear to be hungry, she finishes the bottle in 10-15 min. Seems like a short amount of time to be complianing but hubby could sleep through a train comming thru our room yet insists on sleeping on the outside of the bed so to get out of bed I have to climb over him and the rotweiller in the dark to get out of bed (that was alittle ranting sorry)and it takes me at least 20 min to fall back asleep. There have a been a few (less than 5) times that she slept thru the night, and once she cried for 5 min and fell back asleep to sleep thru the night. I guess I'm wondering if anyone else's child around this age is still getting up more than once a night and if anyone has ideas to start getting her used to not eating in the middle of the night. She has a bottle right before bed and is sleeping by 8:30 -9 religiously. The she is up agina areound 12 and then again between 3-4, then she will sleep til 6:30. Before i had kids I was one of those people who could easily sleep til 11 on the weekends, but now the last 19 mos i haven't had more than 3 1/2 straight hours of sleep.

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J.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

My little girl was small too AND she liked to eat at night too. One trick I tried was to feed her before she went to bed (8 or so), then one of us would go in before we went to bed at 11 and feed her again (maybe a good job for daddy!). She still woke up from time to time but not until 4 or so. Good luck!

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M.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

I worked pretty hard at weaning my 11 month old off night feedings for the last couple of months. But, if she's very tiny that may not be an option. On the other hand, you could try it and see if she starts eating more during the day. You have to be really dedicated to making this work because it takes more time than just feeding. The up side is, it works eventually (maybe took 1-2 months for us, but some only a few nights).

A few tricks...
You could try to just cut out one feeding. Once she has done that pretty successfully and is not waking anymore, try to eliminate another. When she wakes, go to her comfort her, lay her down, tell her to, "go to sleep" (this will become a que for her, "oh, it's not time to get up/eat, we're going to sleep" . Let her cry a bit, and go back to ley her back down/comfort (or, if you're comfortable you could just let her cry). Some things that were really important during night wakings for us were: baby stays in bed-- you can lay her back down, pat her, even sort of cuddle her (if you have to pick her up to calm her down and rock a bit, stay right by the crib and as soon as she settles down, back to bed); lights stay off; try to be calm and soothing yet firm; you may even want to lay down on the floor with a pillow to show her how we go to sleep. Remeber, send a clear message, "it is time to sleep". Sometimes it took 1 hour, but the time investment was worth the pay off! It was hard, but you have to be strong and make the decission not to feed her at this time. If you combine this with cluster feeding before bed, you might not feel so bad about refusing to feed her.

You could try not feeding her whenever she wakes up, and setting an alarm for you for feedings. This is a gentler way--she still gets fed, but learns that waking up does not equal eating; waking up equals going back to sleep. Sounds crazy, I know. But, once you have her used to going back to sleep when she wakes up and used to you initiating night feedings, you can move your feedings closer and closer together until you've eliminated one at a time. You just set your alarm for a time just before she usually wakes up. If she wakes up before or right about when you're going to feed her, tell her to go back to sleep, pat her back, leave her cry, and come back to sooth until she is asleep (or just go tell her to, "go back to sleep" and leave her cry, whichever you're comfortable with). Once she is asleep, you can feed her (remember, you are teaching her that wake up means go back to sleep NOT eat). I would gently take my baby out of bed, feed him and put him back. Most times, he didn't even wake, just sort of ate in his sleep. Like I said, once she is learning to wake less, you can start setting your alarm later and later; or you can start bringing your 2 middle of the night feedings closer and closer together until they are 1 feeding. I know, it sounds crazy and the nights you do it, you're waking more than if you were to just respond to her cries and feed. But you are trying to teach her a new way. Remember too that extended periods of sleep are good for her too. You are teaching her something that is important for the health of both of you. It is also a lifelong lesson--do really want a 3,4, or 5 year old that has learned to get up 3 times a night? Is that even healthy for your child?

The other thing that seemed to help my guy was cluster feeding in the evening and morning. You want to teach her to eat more during the day so she wont need it at night. So she won't take a big bottle? Offer her 4-5 ounces at 6, 8, and 9 or something like that. Then, in the morning offer her milk every hour or two for the first few hours of the morn. She might not get it right away, but after a while (and if you combine it with a method of taking away night feedings) she may start to get it.

Some say try giving less and less milk at the feedings or give water, but I didn't find this to work so well. It just pissed my guy off royally (and took him longer to go back to sleep). It worked better to send a very clear message, "go back to sleep" means we are sleeping and I am not going to feed you.

Hope this works. These are some things that worked for us. I breastfed and my baby was waking up 3-4 times per night starving to eat until at least 9 months. It's hard and often it seemed that just feeding him was easier than spending the time to teach him to sleep at night. But, last night--- to bed at 7, slept until 4:30 (ate) then slept until 6---yahoo!!! Even when he does toss and turn a bit, usually a gentle hand on the back and whispered, "go to sleep" are sufficient to send him back to dreamland in a matter of minutes. We're getting there :)
Best of luck!

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D.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi
I have a 9 1/2 month ols son he is still getting up 2 times a night and the ped said that he should not be, he was very little when he was born 2.8lb and you would not know it now he is 23lbs. I have tried the whole let him cry it out but than he is up alot longer he will only eat 5 oz. So I have tried to feeding him when I go to bed at 10:00 (he is alseep at 7:00) but he will still get up at 3:00 he is not really hungry because I will make the bottle and he will only drink maybe a oz and fall back to sleep. I wish good luck they say he will grow out of and start to sllep better but I have not seen that.

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J.F.

answers from Minneapolis on

My kids both slept through at 6 mos, I had to go through a few nights of screaming and sitting by their door but they did finally learn to sleep.
When you give her a bottle you are teaching her she needs it, which she doesn't. Your doctor says shes healthy, why would she need to be fed in the middle of the night. Take a weekend when you have nothing going on, put her to bed, when she cries go comfort her, but do not pick her up, leave when she's quieted down, yes it may take awhile, and just keep doing it, eventually she will learn it is not time to be up.
Hope this is helpful

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R.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

I had the exact same issues when my baby was that age and her ped told us the same thing- deal with it. I know how tired you are, but it does get better, and probably sooner than later. Mine started sleeping through thie night right around 12 months and after that she was/is a great little sleeper. The only thing that kept me going was knowing that she needed to get the extra nutrients during the night to keep her healthy and happy. I know its easy to say now, but hang in there, it will get better and you'll be happy to know that your sleep sacrifice is definitely not in vain.

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V.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi M.,

This is perfectly normal. At a certain point it begins to seem as though everybody's baby is sleeping through the night except yours, but it just isn't true: people just stop talking about it I think. I also didn't get more than 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep for over a year. It certainly is a learning experience isn't it? Yuk. In fact, my DS (21 months now) was up 6-10 times a night for most of that year. It's really hard. And before I get any further, your parter needs to show some appreciation for your hard work and give you the outside of the freaking bed. Really. I'd be ready to spit fire about that, I don't think that's ok at all.

On to the larger question though, my son is also really small. I'm small, Dad's small, he's just small yk? So. I think before you take away overnight snacks you need to work towards more day-side calories. However you wanna do that, I think that's a must. And then I'd start probably by consistently offering one bottle of water instead of milk. I'd do that for the same feeding around the same time every night, being consistent about it. If she still wants to wake up for that after a week or so, then I think it's probably more about either thirst OR it could be that she's just a personality that needs more nighttime parenting. Some kids are like that. And that's h*** o* you, but those kids have their own special breed of talents I think and just demand more because they really do need more.

But at any rate, if the water bottle helps to avoid one waking after a while, then I'd add another water bottle I guess and go from there. But really make sure you're offering more frequent feedings during the day to compensate. And maybe run this idea by your ped just to be safe.

Good luck! You've got PLENTY of company unfortunately!

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V.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi, M....

I can so empathize with you. Our little James turns 10 months this week, and he is doing the same thing. Also, he is not on the charts for size, so I feel your pain with wanting to give him anything he'll take, even if it means at night. But sleep deprivation is hard, and over time it can begin to take its toll. When we were talking to the pediatrician, he suggested the following (because you don't want to cut out calories from these little ones, you just want them to take them during the day):
* Make sure you have a good bedtime routine, and put them down drowsy but still awake so they get used to self-soothing. Put them down at the same time every night. Possibly try an earlier bedtime if needed (change gradually in 15 min increments rather than a cold turkey change).
* Try to have 2 naps--one in the am and one post-lunch. This can be hard to get them on a schedule, but it should help them during the night if they can get consistent during the day (we do about an hour in the am around 8:15 or so, and about 1 1/2 or 2 hours around 12:30 after lunch).
* Don't offer the bottle every time baby is up...try every other, then every third, etc. Use a nuk if need be (I know this can be something else to deal with later, but sleep is the first need you have to get under control).
* With bottles, start by mixing 1/2 breastmilk or formula with 1/2 water. Do that with each bottle for a few nights. Then, gradually keep increasing the amount of water in with the milk every couple of days until baby is down to water or mostly water. This will meet the babies need to suck on the bottle for a little bit while gradually lessoning their need to have those calories at night. They then begin to make up for them during the day--still shoot for 25 or so oz during daytime hours. Eventually, you can stop offering the bottles all together during the night.
* If the baby is taking several oz at a time, they may need 1 bottle partway through the night until they get bigger, especially if they have high metabolism (James is like this). But, 1 night waking for a bottle is better that 6!

This seems to have helped us a lot. James is cutting 2 teeth this week, so has been up more again because of that. But, up to that point, he had only been waking up 1 time. We give him a bottle at that point because he still needs it, since he is taking about 4 oz then. This is all so much better than before when I was up with him every 2 hours or so. Doc says once he gains a bit more weight (he is still under 16 lbs), he should be able to lose that one bottle all together. He eats more during the day, and he seems to do better going down for bed and naps now. I also still take that morning nap with him. Especially if we have a rougher night, it helps keep me going during the day.

Hang in there...it'll get better!
Blessings,
V.

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C.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

I know that it is tough.My daughter did the same things! My only advice is to try and sleep with your child which is not the most practicaladvice but that is what I did. Eventually she will start to sleep longer. It is a hard situation to be in my daughters dad was the same way. I had to do everything with my daughter at night. I know what it is like you can do it! Sorrythat is not much help but...encouragement helps!

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S.C.

answers from La Crosse on

I had been having similar issues with my 9 month old. At his 9 month well-baby check up, his NP recommended increasing the food intake during the day. The big question is whether or not your child is waking at night for a bottle/breast for comfort or out of a true need for more calories. If the reason is for calories, then increasing the food intake during the day should help with sleeping through the night. This has helped with my child. He is either sleeping for stretches of 7-8 hours at a time, or waking up only once during the night. It will get better! Hang in there!

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D.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

my daughter is over 2 and has never really consistently slept through the night. So like the other post said...you think you are the only one who has a child not sleeping...it is not true. try to feed her more during the later part of the day, try to ignore her cries for a few minutes to see if she goes back to sleep, if you do get up make it very unemotional: feed her and put her back to sleep quickly with little interaction to stimulate her. do not sleep with her in her bed...bad habit to break. take naps when you can on weekend and go to bed early during the week. your baby needs you 24 hours a day and even though it sucks not to get sleep, it will eventually get better. good luck!

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J.M.

answers from Appleton on

I went through the same thing with my daughter. I started using a cd player and playing clasical music at night. I don't play it really loud but when she would wake up it almost seemed to lull her back to sleep. She also stopped waking up as frequently. She still wakes up from time to time but the cd player helped a lot.

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M.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

My DS still isn't sleeping through the night consistantly (he just turned 11 months yesterday), but it is getting better. Most times now, he wakes once per night about 11pm and just needs a hug before going back to sleep. We did however, "teach" him to not eat at night anymore when he was about 8 months old. When we started, he was still getting 2 bottles in the middle of the night (one at 11pm and one at 3am). First we tackled the 3am bottle - we went from 6oz to 4oz to 2oz to 2oz of "sludge" - so much cereal in the bottle that it was almost impossible to get out (he decided it wasn't worth it to try anymore) to just a cuddle. We did this very slowly - dropping 2oz per week or so. Then we gave it a week or two and then tackled the 11pm bottle the same way. He started compensating for the loss of food at night by eating more during the daytime - I just made sure to offer him more - we kept his oz per 24hr period the same, just changed when he had those oz. However - he's a very big kid (off the charts for both height and weight), so I really had no worries about him getting enough to eat. And like I said - once we started decreasing his nighttime feeds, he ate more during the daytime.

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C.W.

answers from Augusta on

I have you on this one. My 10 month old wakes up 4 times throughout the night. He takes two 6 oz bottles in 10 mintues flat at 12 midnight and at 4 am. He wakes up for gas pains at 9:30 pm and at 5:30 pm. He goes down for the night at 7:30 pm and you can't keep him up later if you try. He wakes for the day at 7:30 am at the lastest. When he wakes up at night he (and I) are up for an entire hour each time! I let him cry himself to sleep mostly. Because now I'm pregnant again - 9 months pregnant! And I just can't hold him ... he only takes one nap throughout the day time too - one to two hours long. I've tried EVERYTHING to get him to sleep more at night. I didn't have this issue with my first child. I am beyond sleepy!

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