10 Month Old Not crawling...cries Alot and Seems So Frustrated

Updated on May 21, 2008
C.S. asks from South San Francisco, CA
10 answers

My 10 month old daughter does a sort of army crawl to reach for things, but cries and whines every time. She's gotten into the habit of looking for our hands to help her sit up (which she does very well) or stand to cruise the furniture. Everyone says not all babies crawl and she'll probably go straight to walking, but should I be worried that she's not trying to pull herself up onto the furniture on her own? What can I do to help her connect the sitting to the standing? I forgot to mention she will cry and whine (ALOT) when she gets "stuck" even if we try to teach her to do it herself. I'm afraid we've helped her become too dependent on our help. She also will not play independantly by herself for very long at all. I always need to be next to her on the floor. TIA for any help you can give!

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So What Happened?

thanks everyone! hearing your stories or thoughts actually helped me alot. i really appreciate your responses. =) i just need to remember every baby is different and enjoy the time i have with her, especially while she still wants me around...=)

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answers from San Francisco on

I think you need to leave her on the floor and just let her cry if that's what she wants to do. She will get frustrated and will try to do things herself if no one rushes to her aid. It is sometimes out of frustration that they learn new things.

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answers from Stockton on


I know it can be very frustrating when it seems like they should be doing something but aren't, especially when it's your first and you are so excited to see them go, go, go!

Child development doesn't happen at a certain time. Babies learn to do things in a window of time. So for every baby that walks at 9 months, there's one on the other end of the spectrum that doesn't walk until 15 months.

Things to look for include how well she supports her head, how easily she rolls over, and how she holds her body while sitting. If she's really stiff or really floppy it could be a sign that something isn't right. Otherwise, just be patient. She'll get through it! :)

To encourage her to crawl, buy toys that roll like cars, pull toys and balls. Small ride ons (the kind you push forward with your feet but don't have pedals) are very encouraging too.

To encourage her to pull up, get her attention with a favorite toy and then set the toy up on the couch while she watches. Stand her against the couch so she can see the toy if she doesn't make a go for it, and then set her down again. She will cry if she's frustrated, but one of her tasks at this age is to figure out how to coordinate her body to get what she wants. The first year is all about mobility!

Good luck to you! I'm sure you'll be putting the remote on top of the TV in no time! :)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

Hi C.,

Let me start out by saying congratulations on your first child! Your friends and family are correct, not all babies crawl. Some scoot on their bums, some roll all over the house. She'll begin to pull her self up when shes' ready. Instead of helping her up with both hands, try one hand. See if she'll grab on to something els with the other hand in order to help her self up. Keep walking her around holding her hands, she'll get more comfortable with the walking standing sensation. Most of all just enjoy her. Every baby is different, and they truly work on their own agenda!I have 4 boys, and two of them are twins. When they were babies thye both army crawled for a long time....Then one day they just went up onto all fours and crawled. Then they went right into pulling them selves up and trying to take steps. Keep in mind they both did this at different times! Even though they're twins, they had their own idea of when and how they wanted to get things done!

A little about me:

I am a happily married stay at home mama to 4 handsome little boys ages 9,6, and twins that are 4. I love to cook, sing, hike, camp, and spend time with family and friends.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Modesto on

I wouldn't worry about it. My daughter only crawled every once in awhile and never tried to pull herself up. She always wanted help and to be picked up. I was worried, especially when she turned 1 year old! But around 13 months all of the sudden she pulled herself up and began walking within days. Now she is runnning full speed all over the house and I can barely keep up! :)
Also most children at her age don't play independantly for very long. My two year old daughter is just now starting to really play independantly. And she still calls for me to come and sit in the room while she plays.
These "baby/toddler" years go by so fast and there wont be too much time before she wont want you with her all the time. Enjoy her and dont be to focused on checking off the developmental check list. I know its hard.....I am in the midst of it too with a 2 year old and a 3 month old!

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answers from Sacramento on

Hi C....

I think you have my granddaughters twin...She was born 7/26 and she is almost to a tee the same as you describe...I don't think you need to worry...maybe just continue to slow down in your response time...she will come round and figure it out...babies do all sorts of things...I had a nephew who did not crawl, he rolled...everywhere he wants to go..he rolled there..then got up and walked...

Take a deep breath, your fine Mama...



answers from San Francisco on

If your 10 month old is cruising the furniture, I don't think you have too many concerns. I have a child that didn't crawl, and I actually rolled to things as an infant! The standing up by herself will come. It sounds like she is doing very well, and may want that reassurance/support of your hands for sometime! It will all come. Sometimes babies take a while to gain the confidence to do it fully by themselves. And often, it can take longer than other babies!! Just enjoy!!



answers from Salinas on

My daughter was the same way! She eventually got her own style of a butt scoot down, and she was also very slow to learn to pull herself to standing, even once she could cruise on the furniture. She now does all of those things fine, and we are still working on getting from sitting to standing without furniture help even though she is running all over the place. I think that since it is a smaller percent of kids who are late or non-crawlers parents (me included) tend to get a little stressed and sometimes the doctor is no help. We did a ton of research on the subject since I was worried and there is no developmental stage that actually says a kid needs to crawl first, and in many cultures due to circumstances kids don't crawl at all. I wouldn't worry too much, she will come to her own way of movement in her own time. On the note of independent play I too was faced with a child with the need for constant interaction. She is still very into interaction but I have found that once they walk you can create games or activities to allow you a second of peace, such as empty the dryer, one piece at a time. Over the next few months I think you will see the next stage allowing for at least a little bit of independent play.



answers from San Francisco on

Hey C.,

First, don't be too hard on yourself, okay. Keep check with your doctor that there's no delay happening in her developement as she's growing. If that is fine, then just know that some babies are "slow to adapt" That does not mean there is something wrong but she just needs the comfort of her mommy there. My daughter needed to cling to me most of the time. Her worst punishment was to be away from me. I recall an incident where she would not stop hitting me or pulling my hair so finally I set her down about a foot away from me. She screamed and screamed. I ate my food and when I finished I picked her back up. She did anything I told her to do after that.

She would also stay very close to me anywhere we went. Nobody could hold her or touch her. She is 7 yr. old now and acts like a typical child. You would never know that she seemed permanently stuck to my hip.

Have your doctor look into sensory sensitives as well. None of these are bad just good info to know.

K. G.



answers from San Francisco on

10 months? Dont worry... she is just trying to figure it out and knows that she can rely on mama to help.

She sounds like she is right on track -- her own track -- little stinker! :)

Hey, sitting well, reaching for things, getting frusterated because she wants to make a reaction happen? Sounds like her motor skills are working nicely.

Try to encourage crawling and not help her make the connection from sitting to standing. Just let her figure it out on her own time.

I am a first time mommy too... and I spent a lot of time sweating out stuff like this. I am only now learning that our babies are really on thier own schedule. If there are no glaring issues (no eye contact, not sitting, not rolling, you know stuff like that)... then throw caution to the wind and enjoy watching your baby grow.

You are a good momma to worry -- but remember, worry makes itself appear important -- but it isnt! I have to tell myslef that every day!

You must love her soo much! She is lucky to have a loving mama like you! :)



answers from Stockton on

Hello C.,

My now 3 yr old daughter never crawler either. She was frustrated if we left her on her stomach. She is only 10 mo. so I don't think you have made her dependent on you, she is a baby and wants your help. She may like an exersaucer or walker with wheels which to move while being upright. Many babies aren't standing on their own until 12-15 monthes old. My daughter wasn't waling until she was 15 mo. old, so be patient and help her, because about that age is when they take off and starts their route to independence!

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