10 Month Old Night Waking

My 10 month old still needs a feeding in the middle of the night.
Doctor said she doesn't but she is a big girl (23 lbs and very tall) and i think she is hungry.
I usually make her a bottle (formula) before i go to bed around 10-11, take it into her room and wake her up and hand it to her, she drinks a lil, goes back to sleep, then finishes it later when she is hungry (about 4 am). I know i'm technically not supposed to let her have milk that has sat for so long but its never been a problem for us. Doing it this way she doesn't wake me up till 8 am! whoohoo!

I'm going to second the book No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. Most libraries have it, and it's a great alternative to CIO. We used it, and it has helped tremendously. Good luck!

http://mommynewsblog.com/newborn-babies-and-sleep/

that was recommended is great and here are a few lines in quotes from it if you don't have time to read the whole thing.

the No-Cry books-"such a good book.:-) Very sound advice, and unlike so much “junk” I’ve read in other books and on the internet. It took me a few kids to finally understand, but as a parent, I need to tune in to my children and their needs, and then meet those needs the best that I can. That’s what parenting is about. It’s not about meeting other people’s expectations or making our children “fit” into our life for our convenience."

"I know in time my little one will sleep too, and it’s totally normal and natural for him to want to nurse a lot at night…. he’s attached to mommy"

"The whole “cry it out or they will get spoiled” mentality is very dated and might I say ignorant considering all we know now about infants and just how aware they are.
Not to offend anyone but you can sleep when you die! So for now…ENJOY your timeless and precious moments with your baby and be there for them when they cry, because they change and grow tooo fast to take any moment for granted"

me again--I am so disappointed and surprised by the responses to this....it seems to be all about what the moms want and not focused on what the baby needs. No wonder the kids today have so many issues when they get older.

Have you tried a soft sippy cup with a little water? It doesn't solve the waking issue, but it may help you transition away from nursing w/o having to do CIO at the same time. If it works, then in a few months (or whenever you are ready) you can try to let him cry it out.

Have you read Elizabeth Pantley and the No Cry Sleep Solution??? that was helpful to me, since i'm not big on CIO.
I think the best peice of advice if you can get the cooperation, would be for Daddy to be the one going in to comfort baby in the middle of the night. Your son already knows that Daddy doesn't feed him, and may accept the comfort and go right back to sleep. maybe make a deal with your husband that if he can do it for 2 weeks, consistently you would take it back over --if it really didn't work, but if your son is already sleeping through occassionally, then i'm betting, 4 days tops and he'll be sleeping fine.
ALso, Just wondering if teething or growthspurts are contributing to this night waking, upping the bed time feed and checking those gums might also help answer the problem. Dream feeds are great for giving the baby one last snack before you turn in, so they sleep longer.
I totally hear you on the pouring your heart out bit. It never seemed like any info i read completely fit my situation and i was always thinking there had to be a better way, if i could just find it. But in the end you get through it faster than you can imagine.
congrats on nursing him and giving him that special advantage. Keep it up as long as you can. I hope you can catch some catnaps and that hubby gives you a hand.

A., you are the only one who knows what your baby needs and if you think he needs to eat or needs that comfort of nursing to go back to sleep then you should meet his needs. You are not doing anyone any harm by meeting your baby's needs. Lots of babies don't sleep through the night completely until they are over 1 year of age. And lots of babies will start sleeping through the night and then stop because they become more "aware" of their environments and realize that they are alone. There is nothing wrong with needing a little comfort during the night. If you would like to try to get him to sleep better, please read my blog post on sleeping and babies: http://mommynewsblog.com/newborn-babies-and-sleep/ and the no-cry nap solution: http://mommynewsblog.com/the-no-cry-nap-solution/.

Good luck!

J.
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This too shall pass. . . He'll sleep through the night by Kindergarten. Not to make lite of your situation, it will pass and you'll miss the late night cuddles. It's important to be parents in the middle of the night too. I never for a minute could let my child cry in the middle of the night. How sad to wake from a sleep, cry for mommy and not have their needs met. (Whatever your needs are). You can try not nursing, or having your husband take him and rock him, but please make sure someone addresses his cries.

I also recommend Elizabeth Pantley's books. She is gentle and excellent. Much much much more baby friendly than Ferber's horrible method of CIO. What turned me off Ferber was the part in his book where he talks about what to do if your child cries so hard that they throw up. REALLY NOW. Clean them up and start the process over again. . . that's nice.

Either way, good luck. You need only look at your daughter to know how fast time goes by. Treasure this time with your son - he won't nurse forever.

I know this response is late and you've had a lot of advice already. Being sleep deprived is truly awful, but have faith that it will get better.

My son was sleeping through the night at 3-4 months old, but after he had surgery at 6 months old, followed by a cold, he would wake up in the middle of the night. For a month or longer I would nurse him until he fell back asleep. But I knew that he didn't need to eat since he was sleeping through the night before the surgery.

First we made sure that he wasn't going to bed hungry, so we started making a big bottle for him before bed, of which he was only drinking a couple of ounces. Then when he would wake up my husband would go into his room and rocking him to sleep, no lights, no talking. It only took a few nights of this to break the habit of night waking. He realized that he wasn't going to get the comfort of nursing and stopped waking at night. I think that when I would go into try to get him back to sleep he expected to be nursed, but he didn't have the same expectation with my husband.

Good luck, and good luck with weaning him in the near future.

My 9 month old daughter had been waking up again in the middle of the night to nurse (it started in mid-December with teathing and just kept going). I finally checked my "Baby 411" book for advice...

"Offer water at 3 am and see what happens. It's likely to be rejected the first night. And yes, your child will protest. The second night, offer water again. The protesting will be less lengthy. By the third night, your baby won't bother to wake up."

I had my doubts, but it worked, just like it said. In fact, Evelyn slept till 8:30 Sunday morning (She usually is up between 6 & 7). I would recommend waiting until Friday to start this because you won't get much sleep the first two nights.

I was stressing over having to supplement with formula because Evelyn was waking in the middle of the night (I wasn't able to pump), and our frozen milk supply was running out. I was concerned that Evelyn might be hungry but when she slept through the third night, I knew it had just become a habit to eat in the middle of the night.

I'll be interested to hear what other Moms have to say because my daughter is the exact same way!!! :) She will sleep from 7:30- until about 4:30/5:00 and if I feed her she will go back to bed until 7/7:30. If I let her cry she will cry for most of the time until I finally get her up. Sometime she'll fall back asleep for a few minutes but then she's up screaming again. My pediatrician told me at our 9 month appointment she could very well be hungry by that time so I don't feel comfortable letting her cry too much if she is hungry. If she wakes up any earlier I check on her and then I do let her cry and she does go right back to bed. I'm hoping once she starts to really eat more solid foods she might not be as hungry in the morning. Good luck!

I also have the same issue! But for our son, if dad goes in sometimes and I don't give in and "save" him, he will go back to sleep eventually. I guess the best advice Ive heard is to not give in, but if your like me and you dont want to CIO, at least if your holding him, or sitting by his crib, holding/stroking his hand or hair... (which for our son, he loves, once he's calmed down enough)he's not alone this way and you're not abandoning him. He was only waking once a night for a while but now has regressed, maybe separation anxiety or teething again... who knows! I guess my philosophy is to go with the flow, and do whatever works for you at the time. Occasionally we bring him into our bed in the am to cuddle for an hour or so, and he sleeps in a playpen in our room most of the time. And that works for us well because you can get him back to sleep before he gets too upset or awake.

he is testing you and he is winning if you keep giving in to him. Does he take a bottle, because if he does when he starts crying you could give him a bottle of water in the middle of the night as a sign of no more food for you but I recognize the need to suck for comfort. He most probably will get bored with the water and realize that there is no more food and start sleeping past these wake up moments. Also, I would try the cry it outs with you just entering the room to provided comfort of just patting the back but don't speak to the child or turn lights on etc. Just pat the back and quietly walk out of the room. He needs to learn how to self sooth because your breast has been the soother up to this point. It will take a couple of weeks most probably depending on how strict you stay to the plan. Be honest with yourself because self sabotage will keep this behavior going and you will all be crazy for it. Good luck and it will get better!!

Your son still has adjusting to do,and he is in the habit he used to sooth himself from the move.
Even so, there are a couple of things you have to do no matter what if you want him to sleep all night.

First, over-stuff him with food all day long. Babies often seem fine but don't eat to capacity during the day, causing them to wake up during the night. I learned this with my daughter who needed to wake up and eat a little at night until she was one year old. I fed her on a schedule, she was always satisfied, and I gave her a thickened bottle at night. To no avail, she always woke up twice per night and wanted food. My step sister (mother of 12) clued me in to the extra feeding all day long, and after three days, she never woke at night again. Babies will not over eat, so offer him food more often, and let him eat more. It takes a little while (few days, week) for the body to realize it's really full, but soon his belly will not wake him up at night.

Once you know he is full, then you should employ the CIO method. Comforting without feeding is just as bad, because he's still not learning to sooth himself to sleep. Remember, while he's crying, you're only doing this to enable him to feel comfortable and secure at night by himself. If you stick to your guns and feed him really full, he will sleep through the night. My one year old son has been sleeping like a stone through the night since 3 months with this advice. On the rare times he wakes at night and I have to go to him, afterwords, when I put him down, he rolls over and falls to sleep totally at peace to be left alone since it's all he knows. GOOD LUCK!!!

Hi A.. If you have to go into him don't turn on the light, don't pick him up, don't talk to him. Just quietly rub his back for a minute then walk away. You have to teach him how to sooth himself back to sleep espically since you are planning on weaning him soon. The gift of independant sleep is one of the best gifts you could give him...even though he doesn't appreciate it now. If you are strong and hang in there in a couple of nights you should have this under control! Best wishes.

Hi A.,
Contact your local La Leche League representative at

www.llli.org

I hope this helps. D.

I've been in a similar situation. My son just turned 9 months old on the 4th and I decided that I was going to cut out the night nursing. I had already had him down to one thank goodness but he was still getting up aroung 3 or 4 am to nurse. I just figured he is plenty old enough to not nurse at night. Especially with all the solid foods during the day that he gets. I just decided that I was not going to pick him up at night. I would just go in when he cried and give him his binky, cover him up, give him his puppy blankie and turn on his mobile. Now, at first he would scream terribly! But I would just make sure he had the binky and was comfortable and not pick him up. It probably took about 3 weeks but he doesn't scream anymore. He still waked up about once a night but I just do the same thing and he usually goes right back to sleep. I'm hoping that in keeping this up maybe soon he'll just sleep all the way through the night. I was so spoiled with my first - he slept through at 4 months!! They are all so different! Hang in there - and remember it's just a phase. I know it doesn't seem like it now but it really does go by so fast! My first son is 5 & 1/2!

Speaking from mine and other mom's experiences, the longer you wait the harder it will be. With my oldest son, I decided at around 9 months no more night time feedings. My husbands was away one night and I just brought him into bed with me when he woke up so that he knew I was there but never fed him. He crawled around in my bed crying for about 45 minutes and then fell back asleep. I put him back in his bed then and he never wanted to feed in the middle of the night again. (he did wake up but I was able to use other methods to get him back to sleep). I know this is really still CIO but at least you're there with him!

I just thought of what my sister did with some of her kids. She would give a bottle in the night. Let's say it was 6 oz. She would put 1 oz water to 5 oz milk in the beginning and then after a few night go to 2 oz water and 4 oz milk and so on. Eventually they realized they weren't getting much from these bottles and didn't wake for them.

I have to be honest. You admit you did the easiest thing at the time and now it has come back to bite you! That baby does not need to eat in the middle of the night, but by feeding him at that time you have trained his little body to crave it at that time. If you really want to cut out the feeding you are the one who has to do it. You say you don't want to do the CIO method, but do you want to keep feeding him each night? I think those are your choices. I do want to mention that 5:30 or 6:30 could be a normal waking time, and at that time I would feed him and get him up for the day. But 3 or 4 am is not waking time! I am a firm believer in the Ferber Method, which I don't call "CIO", but you keep going in and patting him without picking him up until he falls asleep. The time intervals stretch out longer and longer until he soothes himself back to sleep. Until you teach him how to do this without being fed, you will continue getting up to feed him. Typically this only takes a few days. A few rough days for months and months of great sleep. I think sometimes when you do the easiest thing at the time, you later have to do the hardest thing to correct the habit you have formed. I have been there, hang in there! And I had to do this with a four year old in the next room too, so I know how hard it is in the middle of the night. You can do it!

When this happened with DD, my husband began getting up to put her down at night. She was sleeping through the night and then around 8-10 months she started waking up again. If I tended to her, she would not go back to sleep for a good 45 nminutes or unless I nursed her. But when DH tended to her, she laid right down for him. He didn't have to rock or shush or any of that. He picked her up, hugged her, told her he loved her, and she went back to sleep. I think it has something to do with expectations. :) I didn't like having him do that on work nights, it didn't seem fair, but it worked best and it didn't take long before she was sleeping through the night again. We never did CIO and I don't believe you have to if you don't want to. Good luck!

I feel your pain! I have a 13 month old who just started sleeping through the night. I was also feeding him during the night because he is small, thought he was hungry, and also found that it helped ease the teething just a bit. At our doctor's appt., our doctor also very sternly told us to stop feeding him. I have to admit it was the best thing I heard! It took a few nights for him to cry but after that he has slept beautifully. The first night he was up about 2 hours begging for a bottle, but we persevered and he finally gave up. Our doctor did mention that we could give him some water if needed. Sorry I don't have better advice but the crying thing worked for us. It really is difficult during the night. 5 minutes seems like eternity! Good luck!

i don't really have any advice just wanted to say that i understand and i'm right there with you my daughter did the same thing and didn't stop until she was 2 she did stop on her own but she was 2.now i am having the same issue with my son.trie the cio but couldn't do it with either of them so good luck

There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! WRong with your child wanting to get up in the middle of the night and want to nurse, even for just 5minutes. I have had 4kids and nursed all four and they would do this. I don't see what the big deal is if he gets up just once a night? I don't think your dr. is very intune with nursing babies. First off let me say that I hate all this garbage about CIO. At some point yes you may need to let a child cry, but on a whole I think that people forget that these are BABIES not adults, they can't speak and can't tell you what the problem is and what they need. I think a little comfort nursing for 5mins is an easy thing to oblige. Letting them cry every night is not comfort its much worse.

I wonder if teething could be part of the problem, as other moms have mentioned. He may want to nurse at night to soothe his gums. If you think that his teeth are bothering him at night, maybe you could give him some Tylenol or put some Orajel on his gums if he wakes up, and see if it helps (maybe your husband could do this if the other soothing techniques fail, but I do think it's a good idea to see if your husband can help out at night). You need your sleep to keep your sanity, so just do what you feel is right for you and your baby. You can't take the best care of your children if you're sleep-deprived and delirious! You got some good tips already, so I hope you find what works for you.