10 1/2 Month Old, with Seperation Anxiety.

Updated on September 03, 2008
T.M. asks from Henrico, VA
7 answers

I had the summer off, and my son has now become very attached. Even though I had the summer off, he did keep going to the babysitter, becuse I wanted to avoid a big seperation problem, when I went back to work. Now it's getting closer, and he cries every time he goes to the babysitter, I think it's just a phase, but I wanted to know if there was anything I can do to make it easier. Thanks!

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Well, I'd like to report that he has outgrown this phase, but he hasn't. In fact I am at home now, due to a displacement at my company, and it has gotten worse. I try and go out with him but if he goes to anyone else besides (mommy, daddy or big sis) he just cries. We just had his 1st birthday party and my husband and I had to hold him the entire time. I know everyone was thinking that he is spoiled, but I've been trying to solve this for 3 months now. When people hold him the doesn't stop crying he will continue to cry until he comes back to one of us. I can tell it makes whomever is trying to hold him uncomfortable, so he ends up back in our arms. Several mothers at the birthday party said they had the same issue with their children (whew, some understanding) I'm hoping that when he starts to walk around he will feel a little more freedom, and a little less clingy.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.G.

answers from Washington DC on

Just like you thought - this is a phase. I think all baby's go through this sometime between 9 and 18 months. You just need to keep reassuring and walk out. I bet he stops crying about 5 minutes after you are gone. One thing that does help is being prepared to leave immediately once the babysitter gets the information you need to convey. The longer the leaving process takes, the more the baby has time to get worked up and the longer it takes him to calm down.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi T.! I am a home child care provider and I have a little one that does this - only with his mother. He throws the biggest fit when she drops him off and as soon as we turn our backs to go upstairs he stops and is fine. She doesn't even make it back to her car. One of the things that may help - if you are anxious in any way in dropping him off he will feel it and thus start fussing. The same boy gets dropped off by both gma's at times too and does not do this with them - they bring him up, say good bye and off they go - no fuss no muss so to speak. They are more relaxed when they drop him off than mom is. Kids pick up on that and it affects their behavior - if they feel you are uncomfortable they will be too. Try singing funny songs on the way and being happy when you drop off - if he's walking - let him walk to the door - good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Look into Bach Flower remedies for you child; Rescue remedy may be very helpful for this type of anxiety. Google Bach Flower Remedies and you find a new way to approach anxiety, stage fright, fear, and depression. It may even assist with hyperactive children. Of course it would be most beneficial if you were eating a diet free of diary, processed foods, sugar laden foods and hormone and antibiotic laden flesh. Good luck ; Bach Flowers are good for parents too.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi T.,

My daughter had seperation anxiety for almost four years although she went into daycare every day from 8 weeks old. I consulted with my ped at the time because it seemed that she was not getting over this phase. She assured me that it is very important to pick them up on time so they know that you are coming back for them. Once she was old enough to understand me, I would reassure her every evening that I would be dropping her off in the morning but I would ALWAYS be there to pick her up EVERY evening. Every morning, I would point out to her that I picked her up yesterday/every day last week and I would continue to do so. I would also tell her that she was a "big" girl doing important things at daycare and I had to do important things at work. I would emphasis that we both had responsibilities and that we would be missed by her caregivers and my co-workers if we did not show up every day. Make him understand how important he is to the babysitter so he feels a sense of belonging and pride in helping out. My daughter also loves giving stickers to her classmates in daycare which makes her feel like a contributing member of the group/see the purpose in going each day. Good Luck! p.s. Having some suprises in the car when you pick him up once a week/in a while - a toy from McDonalds, a sticker, etc. can go a long way about making him forget about missing you...

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.C.

answers from Washington DC on

A 10 month old crying when their mother leaves them is a normal reaction. Anxiety is a much more extreme reaction. If he's crying briefly when you leave, then goes on to play and have a normal day and is happy to see you when you pick him up, that is normal. If he's crying uncontrollably, unable to get involved in play, unconsolable after you leave, and possibly not happy when he sees you return, that is separation anxiety.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.L.

answers from Washington DC on

He will get used to it. The crying probably stops within minutes of you leaving. The babysitter could try distracting him while you are leaving.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.H.

answers from Norfolk on

I would ignore it. if you bring attention to it your only going to promote it.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches