1 1/2 Year Old Refuses to Give up Bottle

Updated on September 22, 2008
G.W. asks from Puyallup, WA
31 answers

I have a stubborn strong willed independant 1 1/2 y.o. who refuses to give up her bottle. I have pretty much gotten it down to only a bottle at nap times and bed time. The thing is she will drink water and juice from her sippy cup, but if I put milk in it she will throw and refuse to drink. To add to that she will not drink her milk cold it was to be warmed just a little bit. I have tried having her throw her bottles away and telling her she's a big girl. But then she just wont drink any milk and I can't have that she still needs all the vitamins and nutrients from the milk. I need a way to get her to give up that bottle and swithch to her sippy cup full-time.

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So What Happened?

Well now we have to try even harder to get this accomplished sooner I was just going to take it the slower route but now I found out Ava has to get tubes in her ears and the doctor wants her off the bottle prior to surgery which is in two weeks.The doctor said the bottles could be a contributing factor to the re-occuring ear infections and that the bottles could also make the tubes fall out prematurley

Featured Answers

N.S.

answers from Portland on

Hi G.,

I don't know if this will help, but you could try to cut the bottle nipples and show her that it is "broken". That is how I broke my daughter off of binki's. Hope this helps.

N.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I have seen some people saying to just let her have the bottle at bed time, but unless it is filled with plain water a baby should never have a bottle at bed time, it will rot her incoming teeth. My boys gave up the bottle at about 13 or 14 months, because once they proved they could use a sippy, all the bottles disappeared. And they did not get any juice or the such until they drank their milk.

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C.M.

answers from Bellingham on

I wouldn't worry about it. All children will give up the bottle eventually on there own. My 17-month old still takes a bottle at nap and bedtime and I have decided not to sweat it. I have worried way too much over issues in the past where he has not reached certain so-called "milestones" at the appropriate time. He has always come around in his own time and usually when I am least expecting it. Every child is different and has different needs. Remember that there is such a wide range of "normal"

My son takes such comfort in his two ten-minute sessions with the bottle (he has never had any desire for a stuffed animal, blanket or other comfort object, by the way) that I have decided not to make a battle out of the bottle. I just brush his teeth quickly afterwards.

My mom told me that my brother had a bottle until he was 3 and now he is a perfectly normal adult with healthy teeth.

Good luck whatever you decide!

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J.H.

answers from Portland on

G.
I just went through alittle of the same thing with my 15 month twin boys. My first 2kids were super easy. But these guys werent so easy at all. But it has been a week now since any bottles. Yeah! First I picked a quick date just to go cold turkey. My boys didnt really like the sippy cups much at well. So I just kept trying different ones. We now have about 10 different kinds. The one they finally liked was the one with the soft spout(soft like a bottle) I think its Munchkin brand. Anyway i just always have that avail for them. I put juice, water , or milk in them. When they got fussy or wanted the bottle I would offer them the cup.When they got mad I would try something different,for me the boys really love to dance so I would turn the music on and dance with them. It was really hard at times but I just kept offering other things of comfort, snacks, and trying to take their attention off the bottle. It was also helpful for me to pick days when I would be with them most of the day. So I could give them comfort. We also did music at night when it was bed time,with the cup full of water. We are still doing that now and its working. I amnot a fan of cry it out, but this time was harder than last time, but I really feel not giving in was an important part of this. Good luck and hope this was helpful to you.
J.

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J.V.

answers from Seattle on

It sound to me like you are giving your daughter way too much control. Children do not need a bottle after 12 months. especially since she drinks fron a sippy cup fine. I have 5 children and weaned them all at 12 months with no problem. Just remove all the bottles from her. get rid of them all from the house so you don't slip up. She will not doubt throw a fit, mine did but it only lasts a day or so and when she realizes that they are gone she will be fine with the sippy. Also don't worry about the milk thing she can get the vitamins in alot of different ways from other foods. Be strong and don't give in. that is the key or she will then know how better to manipualte you to get what she wants. good luck

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M.B.

answers from Seattle on

G.,

We as parents need to pick and choose our battles. You need to ask yourself the following question: Is it really worth the tantrums to get rid of her bottles? If the answer is yes, then go through the power struggle to get rid of them for good. If the answer is no, let her keep the bottles. If you then decide to let her keep the bottles, after you put her to bed the night before her 2nd birthday take every bottle in the house and make them disappear. About a month before her 2nd birthday I'd start talking with her and warning her that they're gonna go to the bottle fairy for babies/into the garbage/away (whatever you decide).

Another thing: until the age of 2 young children need the extra fat in milk/formula for brain growth and development. They get the vitamins and nutrients from other foods. This is the information that my MIL gave me when I was pregnant with my oldest, and reminded me of with my youngest. She has a degree in early childhood education.

Supportively,
Melissa

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R.S.

answers from Seattle on

I think there is too much pressure from doctors and peers to get rid of the bottle at such an early age. Babies need that comfort and at 1 1/2 they still are so young. My 3 boys were all around 2 1/2 when they gave up their bottle in the morning and at bedtime. They also loved it warmed up. Now they are 8, 7 and 5 and are doing just fine although they had the bottle a little longer than the doctor said they should. Good luck!

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K.S.

answers from Seattle on

Hi G.,

We give our daughter rice milk. It is somewhat like water. She loves it! You can try that and see. :) I agree with picking and choosing the battles too. My daughter at 13 months just quit, the defiance for her came later. LOL Now she is almost 3 and very independent. It will happen in time. With our daughter we told her the bottle went night night. We still do this with TV when we are turning it off. It was helpful and she understood that bottle time was finished. :)

Blessings,

K.S.

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L.G.

answers from Eugene on

Dont' make such a much out of it. She's using it to make up for missing you while you are working. Nobody sucks on a bottle in kindergarten.
She will give it up on her own if you don't make a fuss over it.

L.-Maggie

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B.P.

answers from Seattle on

It sounds like it is too early for her. Doesn't a mother nurse her baby for a long time? If she really likes the suckling from the bottle, she will be more content. Try to give her a straw to drink milk and see if it is enticing for her to use it.

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R.R.

answers from Seattle on

Hi G.,
So I read all 24 respons before I decided to put in my 2 cents.
So here we go, as a mother of a 36 yr old and a 5yr old, ( big gap) also 8 grand childern ranging from 21 to 1 1/2 I have been through alot of differnet ways. But with my son who is 5 we 1st found that the milk was important in his diet as he was a bit fussy, so we added some instant breakfast or ovaltine to his warm milk and slowly eased the warming and soon just cold milk and it worked. Now at 5 and still a bit fussy we still give him this when he wants a glass of chocolet milk or hot coco. He is getting something good that is good for him without it just geing a chocolet sugary drink.
As for the bottle part, your baby is still a baby, let her have her bottle at bedtime, it is not hurting her. Don't worry about the age she is still using it, there are childern out there eiter still breast feeding or on the bottle that are much older then your little one and I am not just talking bedtime either. You are quite lucky she is broken at such a young age, that is really a hard thing for most babies to do, get broken from the bottle before age 2 then just to have it at bedtime.
Enjoy your babaies, it sounds like you are doing good,

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J.F.

answers from Portland on

I'm not an expert on bottle weaning, but your daughter sounds quite young to expect her to completely give it up--especially if she is not breastfeeding, does not suck her thumb or have a pacifier (you didn't mention these things, so I don't know her situation there). Children (some more than others) have a natural desire to suck even up until their 3rd year--milk is closely related to sucking because this is their primary form of nutrition and comfort as babies and, really, toddlers are just big babies with many of the same comfort needs and wants. Your daughter is not at an age developmentally where she can relate to the idea of being a "big girl". That won't motivate her until she's closer to 3. Next, I would ask you, why make an issue out of it when you've really got it narrowed down to only a couple of times per day? I'd say you're doing pretty well to have her only taking her bottle at naptime and bedtime. That sounds pretty normal to me. Strong-willed personalities will resist even stronger if you make a battle out of things. The more you care about something, the more they will resist (a good book about this is called "You Can't Make Me, But I Can Be Pursuaded"). Give your baby some time to grow out of this intense desire for her bottle and just gradually reduce the time she has it. In a couple of months, try substituting some other comfort (maybe a sippy cup with some other special drink she'll enjoy) for her a naptimes and see how it goes. Once she's not needing it at naptime and is comfortable with that (i.e. it's part of her routine and she's forgotten about it), then try transitioning her to eliminating the bottle at bedtime. If she still needs it at bedtime, give her some more time, and try it later. Often as parents (especially with our first and second children), we feel like these phases our children go through will never end if we don't end them NOW, but most things really don't need to be that urgent and being more flexible helps us also be able to relax and enjoy our toddlers with less frustration and power struggles. You know she's not going to need a bottle at bedtime when she's 15, so just remember that it will end eventually--just maybe not right now.

Blessings to you and your precious daughter!
J.

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K.L.

answers from Seattle on

Remember that YOU are the parent. YOU are the one that is still giving it to her. Children do not need a bottle after one year old. Besides it can cause their teeth to not be straight. We went through this with our daughter. She didn't want to give it up but we quit the bottle cold turkey. After a couple of days she came around and would drink. It is ok to heat her milk though. We did that for quite a while. You could try to entice her by using something somewhat nutricious like Ovaltine in her milk but that would be trading one thing for another. Good luck but you are the parent and you are in charge.

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C.S.

answers from Medford on

So let her use her bottle a little longer, it really isn't that big a deal. I went through the same thing with my son and realized that a fast-flow nipple really isn't much different than a sippy cup. I just took his away at 2 1/2 and about 3 days of him asking for it and he doesn't even care anymore.

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K.K.

answers from Portland on

That sounds like what I went through with my daughter when I tried to take her bottle. I decided to let her keep her bottle (only before naps & bedtimes) until she was ready to give it up. I didn't see much difference in whether she was sucking on a sippy cup or a bottle. It was a comfort thing for her (and I loved that she'd cuddle with me or my husband while she drank it), and they are only this little for such a short time. She gave it up completely when she was around 2 1/2 yrs old. We just stopped giving it to her gradually and she never noticed. If she asked for milk after that I gave it to her at the table with meals in a sippy cup with a straw.

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A.D.

answers from Seattle on

Will she eat yogurt and cheese? She should get the same nutrients from those items that she would milk. Reintroduce milk in a sippy cup in a few few months after she has gotten over the warm milk in a bottle habit.

I agree with Judi too, if she getting nutured from the bottle, maybe it isn't such a bad thing. It brings her comfort.

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R.S.

answers from Seattle on

If it were me I would just get rid of that last one. She will eventually learn to drink it from a cup. Have you tried a big cup (with your help of course. She might drink it from a big cup like mommy.
If you are worried about her not geting the vitamins from the milk if she won't drink it from a sippy then I might ask your doctor what to give her (like more cheese, yogurt)until she comes around to the milk in a sippy idea.

Good luck!

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J.C.

answers from Seattle on

Truly- it sounds to me as though you've done a stunning job already--- if she gets slightly warm milk when she's lying down-- is that really a problem??? -- I would say you've already accomplished so MUCH --- she's only 18 months old -. Unless your pediatrician says there's a huge downside for HER ( is she having lots of ear infections? - is she allergic?)_ if there's no big medical problem --- couldn't she have another few months to come to a state of balance herself???

I retired a year ago as a preschool teacher for Northshore schools - and many many of my 3 year olds were given bottles in bed ( and I thought past 3 was TOOOO old - but they hadn't asked, so I didn't offer my lovely advice unless asked lololol) the one rule we had was '''''School is not for bottles - '''' unless there was a medical necessity - and in some cases - there was- . Think of all the transitions she's had to weather in 18 months - birth, day-care- walking - eating solid food, - some rudimentary structure ( which is the skeleton of discipline ) and limiting her ( obviously) beloved bottle to bed-times -- that's a LOT --- if there's no reason medically for this particular child - I really encourage you to give her more time.

I'd also encourage you to have her help you make some some smoothies ( really heavy on the milk ) as part of her bed-time ritual- and you and Dad sit down and drink with her - some delicious smoothy that she helped you make- from a straw, perhaps??? --- and then as time goes on- she may enjoy that ritual so much- that the bottle gets a little blah- becasue you can RELY - she wants to be like you and Dad- and you guys DON'T drink from bottles - ( if you carry around water bottles- - give her one just like yours)

Many Blessings, you're doing a fabulous job -
dont put so many demands on yourself
:-)))
Old Mom
aka J.

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T.O.

answers from Portland on

I can relate to this problem. My daughter finally gave up the bottle at @ 20 months and it has been a fight to get her to drink milk ever since. She drinks juice and water just fine out of a cup as well. I have tried EVERY sippy cup, flavor of milk, milk shakes etc... The only thing that finally worked was using a straw. I finally bought a special cup that has a straw built right into the cup. The only thing I can suggest is to keep trying different cups and holding the juice hostage. It is hard because you want them to get the nutrition from the milk, but you want the bottle gone. Just hang in there and remember if she doesn't drink as much milk as normal for a few days, it won't hurt her.

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J.S.

answers from Boise on

Have you tried putting half milk and half water in her sippy cup? Maybe you could do that and then get to the point where it's just milk. I bet if you just took it away from her, she'd come around after a few days. She knows that when she throws it down or refuses it, you'll crack and give in to her. Try just being done with it altogether. Good luck! :-)

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W.C.

answers from Seattle on

I got my son at 1 1/12 years to give up his bottle by putting chocolate milk in it. What a treat! That was the end of the bottle as he never got chocolate milk in a bottle. And what is the harm in warming up the milk? Just warm it less every time.

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L.G.

answers from Seattle on

As I read about your dilemma, my mind was flooded with memories of trying to get my daughters (now 15 and 13) off of the bottle. What I ended up doing was putting water in their bottles and milk in their tippy cups, but it sounds like you have already gone this route. (By the way, they were not at all impressed with that at the time.) :) But, the thought that keeps coming back to me is that it will happen in time. What is motivating you to feel compelled to take the bottle away? Is is a fear of dental problems in the future? Maybe you could give her a bottle a little bit before naptime and bedtime as part of her settling down routine, then brush her teeth afterwards. Is is pressure from family and friends? (I know the things people say... "Is she STILL carrying that bottle around?!? MY kids were done with that thing before they were a year old!") Sitting here next to my daughters who were just little bitty girls such a short time ago, and now are here, one of them on the internet, one strumming a guitar, and both as tall as me... wow. Time really does fly. She will only be little for a short time. Who cares if she has a bottle until she is three, honestly? She will eventually give it up. Have you EVER seen a 14-year-old hauling a bottle of milk around in their backpack? It's okay, Mama. You are doing a good job, and these little baby-attatchment items will be gone soon enough, I promise. Blessings to you and yours! :)

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B.A.

answers from Richland on

Does it have to be a very specific kind of bottle? Because Avent bottles are interchangable with their sippy cups (I'm not sure if other brands are. I've been using the bottle with a sippy cup handle and lid with my 11 month old and he loves it and I'm wondering if that's a way to transition so that it's still the bottle, but a different top, and hopefully soon you could switch to just a sippy cup. I do agree with some of the other moms though, that it would probably take only a day or two of fits if you stand strong on the issue and then it would be done. Anyway, just a thought on how to transition if you aren't ready to do it all at once. Good luck!! I hope you find something that helps!

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K.G.

answers from Seattle on

I don't have personal experience with the bottle issue and milk. But a child in our weekly playgroup went through this.

He had to start using sippy cups exclusively because he was about to enter daycare (montasori (sp) school) where they wouldn't allow bottles. Their son (15 months at the time) wouldn't drink milk from a sippy cup. Finally, to make it more appealing in a sippy cup, they added just the slightest amount of chocolate syrup. This worked after a few tries. Then they slowly decreased the amount of chocolate syrup to where it was only milk.

Good luck.

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A.G.

answers from Spokane on

G.,
I wouldn't worry about getting rid of the bottle right now, she is only having one at nap and bedtime it's not like she is running around all day with one. I am still nursing my 2 1/2 year old (nap and bedtime) so really what is the difference?? I did have the same problem with my 6 year old, when she was that age, about not wanting milk in the sippy cup, only juice or water. What I did was just bought a different kind of sippy cup for the milk and then she would drink it. Give that a try that could work for you to. But, I would give her a little longer with the bottle, is it really going to hurt her to have it a little longer??

A. G

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A.P.

answers from Eugene on

Hi,

I have a 14 month old, we were going to wean him off the bottle he gets before his morning nap not long ago and then decided not to as we were getting ready to fly across county to visit his baby cousin--so we thought the bottle was good for his ears and to help him not feel jealous of his cousin. Then I had an revelation--who cares if he takes two bottles a day--I love our night time routine--snuggling him between my husband and me and reading stories while he has his bottle. I don't want to give that up and he doesn't appear to either so I'll wean him when it's time. Also, we only have one bottle because I was breastfeeding him almost exclusively so what's nice is that there aren't bottles around the house so they only appear twice a day--we try to keep it sort of hidden because he gets so excited when he sees it--so he's never been one to carry a bottle around the house.

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A.M.

answers from Eugene on

For some reason there is such a stigma with the bottle, your daughter is only 18 months, I wouldnt worry so much about it...my daughter was almost 2 when I got serious about her giving up the milk in the bottle habit, and that was only because we were going to be traveling in Central America and I didnt want to be in a situation where i had to find her milk (from sources I didnt know and trust) or refrigeration if we didnt have it...so that was my concern! I started about a month before we left for our trip and basically it didnt happen overnight, but it was a gradual process that involved some distraction towards other bedtime things, ie. reading stories, singing a song, just getting her mind on other things, even if she asked for the bottle. We would just simply say "not tonight" and then change the subject--she protested a bit at first, but after a few minutes, she would be distracted enough to move onto something else...bedtime did take a bit longer as the bottle always soothed her, and she has NEVER drank cow's milk since giving up the bottle...just no interest whatsoever. But she does get plenty of calcium and the other vitamins in milk from other sources of dairy as well as fortified soy and almond milks. I was very surprised at how easily she did give up the bottle because she was pretty addicted to the bedtime one too...and she is a very strong willed little Taurus...so give it some time, try some of the other good suggestions, and dont feel pressured by society or your pediatrician if it is not right for your child...she'll give it up when she's ready!

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K.S.

answers from Yakima on

This may sound like torture, but, just throw the bottle away.

I had a similar issue with my oldest and I told him that he was big, I was the "mommy and I make the rules", and that we were not going to have the bottle any more. She'll come around! Until she does come around start to give her cereal with milk, cottage cheese, string cheese or anything that is dairy in a different form and if you are really worried consider introducing a daily vitamin. She'll get all the fats and nutrients she needs.

Also, she'll have a pediatrician appointment at 2, you can talk to the doctor about it. They've heard it all, and may be a parent with a similar experience, and often times have terrific advice.

*K

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T.H.

answers from Portland on

We had the same problem with our son, he is now almost two! Our doctor advised us to stick it out without the bottle, even if he didn't drink any milk for a while. She assured us that he would still get the necessary amount of nutrients if we made sure he was eating dairy (cheese and yogurt) and dark green vegetables. It only took a few weeks for him, and although he is still not 100% in love with milk, he drinks a little bit each day. Plus he really loves cereal and has a good amount of milk in it each day! Good luck.

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L.B.

answers from Richland on

Have you heard of the "pacifier fairy"? You could call on the bottle fairy! What you do is put all the bottles in a gift bag for the bottle fairy.....worn your daughter that this is happening. Say"on friday the bottle fairy is coming to take your bottles and giving them to all the babies that need bottles because you are a big girl and don't need them anymore." She will bring you a very special suprise!" On Thursday night you put the bottles in a gift bag with ribbons and paper for the bottle fairy for the babies who need them and set it in a tree or by a bush or appropriate place outside your house...even the mail box. Then when your daughter wakes up the bottles will be gone and her suprise(wrapped of course!) with a note thanking her from the bottle fairy is waiting where she left the package. Ive seen this work many times on the nanny tv show and it worked with my cousin and her pacifier. Good Luck!

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D.M.

answers from Seattle on

Hi G.,
We have an almost two year old and are facing the same issue. Our neighbors swear by the bottle fairy trick. They did it when their boy was two. You let her know that we're gathering up all the bottles tonight so they fairy can come and take them away to other kids that need them. She will leave a present when she takes the bottles. Worked like a charm....We're going to try it pretty soon I think ! Let me know if it works for you (if you end up trying it). Good luck.

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