Photo by: Linda Wolfe

Which Do You Choose Ladies? Your Face, or Your Fanny?

by Linda of "Carpool Goddess"
Photo by: Linda Wolfe

I was at a costume party recently when a handsome young gentleman smiled broadly at me and remarked that it was “nice to see a woman eat and drink.” At the time I was holding a slice of pizza in one hand, a Vampire’s Delight (a wickedly delicious vodka concoction) in the other.

Looking around the room at the scantily clad women in their costumes, none of them were eating. Their attire left nothing to the imagination and could not hide the multitude of sins that my sheriff’s costume could.

A long time ago I heard a quote often attributed to Catherine Deneuve that at certain age you have to, “choose either your face or your derrière.” I dare not ask my husband which he thinks I chose. There is no win-win answer here.

Never one to be satisfied with a crouton and a glass of water, I’ve always liked to eat. Blame it on low blood-sugar, but I am forever grazing.

For the most part, I’ve made peace with my hips. The little bit of cushion I’ve accumulated the last few years (due to aging not indulging) has softened the sharp edges of my face and, strange as it may seem, at middle age I actually like my reflection better, wrinkles and all. Who’d a thought?!

While I wouldn’t mind losing a few pounds, since lately it seems I can simply look at food and gain weight, I have no aspirations of being a “social x-ray.” I know plenty of women who practically starve themselves to fit into teeny-weeny Barbie size jeans. But that could never be me. I like cookies and pasta too much. And wine.

Eating is one of life’s greatest pleasures. And, as long as I still have the ability to chew my own food, I will enjoy every bite.

Bon appetit!

So ladies, what’s it gonna be: Your face or your fanny?

Linda Wolff writes the lifestyle blog Carpool Goddess where she shows us that midlife, motherhood and the empty nest aren’t so scary. Her essays have been published in numerous anthologies, and is a frequent contributor on Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, What The Flicka, and many more. You can find her on Facebook and Twitter.

Like This Article

Like Mamapedia

Learn From Moms Like You

Get answers, tips, deals, and amazing advice from other Moms.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us
Want to become a contributor?
Want to become a contributor?

If you'd like to contribute to the Wisdom of Moms on Mamapedia, please sign up here to learn more: Sign Up

Recent Voices Posts

See all