What's Your Birthday Party Policy?
A couple weeks ago, we hosted my oldest son’s fourth birthday party at our house complete with: bouncy house, sno-cone machine, pizza, beer for the adults, and Spider-Man breakaway cupcakes.
It was a blast. And expensive. And stressful.
It’s not like I didn’t know how much time, energy, and money a party like that takes. I mean, I did it last year! But it’s just that we had so much fun, we wanted to do it again. And I mean WE. Not just the kids, but the adults had blast, too. We weren’t that popular with the four-year-olds when we announced “adult jump,” but we were going to get our money’s worth.
Ever since we’ve had kids, entertaining guests in our home is basically non-existent. Outside of family and an impromptu mac-n-cheese party with the neighbors, it just doesn’t happen. It requires a clean house, advance planning, the meshing of social calendars, and friends. Friends with kids. Kids the same age as yours. Kids who get along. Spouses who like each other, etc. So, like I said, we don’t do much entertaining. Which is partly why, the last two years in a row, Ry’s birthday party has become our entertaining event of the year. Post party, I’m feeling much the same as I did last year—it’s sooo excessive. I don’t want Ry to get accustomed to this.
It’s probably too late, as he’s already announced the theme for his fifth, sixth, and seventh birthdays. Not to mention the fact that all of his birthdays have been fairly grand affairs. For his first, I think we were celebrating our metamorphosis into parents and survival of 12 months of upheaval more than doing it for him. We invited all our friends, with and without kids and held it at a local park and zoo.
Compare that to my second-born’s first birthday— an evening with Grandma, Grandpa, and the boys from down the street, who were invited last minute to liven things up a bit. I do feel like I’m giving JB the short end of the stick, but truthfully— and this is for all you first time parents out there—t hey really don’t “get” the party thing until age three. We could have saved a wad by skipping Ry’s first and second parties, but then we would have had a lot less fun.
Now that I have two kids, I’m trying to figure out how keep the partying under control. For my sanity, for my bank account, and for the well-adjustment of my kids. My latest idea is to host one party a year: each kid has a big party with friends every other year. And on the off year, we do a small family party or outing. What do you think? Do you think it’ll work? Do you think I’m still over-doing it? What’s your birthday party policy?
Kim Kooyers is a SAHM in San Jose, California. She has a master’s degree in conflict resolution and is putting it to good use mothering two boys, ages 4 and 1.5.