What Kind of Summer Memories Have You Made?
When I was a child, I always looked forward to summer. I knew it meant I would have the wonderful pleasure of seeing my grandparents who lived twelve hours away. The wonder of anticipation would make the days go by with excitement because my world would be filled with adventure, love and honor upon my arrival. During these times, I laughed hard and often. I explored worlds different than my own and learned to appreciate my heritage and all that it meant. I played with cousins, listened to my grandfather’s wisdom and watched my grandmother meet every challenge with faith and determination. I was blessed beyond belief. As I reflect on my children’s summers, I also have many fun and meaningful memories. I also remember some summers which were filled with challenges and tough times. No matter the experience, the Hickem family seemed to laugh its way through the summer regardless of the situations we found ourselves encountering.
I share these segments of my memory life to encourage you to reflect on your summer history. More importantly, I ask the question so you will ask what it is you want your children to remember about the summer you are having.
Summer is a great time to become an intentional mom, which is something I’m not only passionate about, but have made my life’s mission to help others become. During summertime, you have this wonderful opportunity to assess what your children and family need and go about the business of meeting some of these needs during a season where the stress is different and the children are free to act like kids. This time in their life is fleeting and the summer will be gone before you know it. They will enter a new academic year and you will be focusing on homework, GPA’s and behavior. While routine is a wonderful thing, it is also important for children to have the opportunity to relax, play, and spend time just being with mom and dad.
If you are stuck on how to become intentional this summer, ask your children what they enjoyed most about last summer. Reflect on what you thought was the most significant time with your children and identify the reasons for your conclusion. Take a moment after you read this blog and think through your summer memories and decide what you want to repeat as well as change.
Don’t put unrealistic expectations on yourself or your summer. What your children may need may be much smaller than what you are expecting. For instance, because my dad was a pastor and everyone knew him, we rarely went out to dinner without our meal being interrupted by well meaning people. Thus, when we were on vacation, I knew we could have dad’s undivided attention because we would be out of town and no one would know him. I had him all to myself and it was wonderful.
Remember, your children want more than what you can DO for them. Too often we overemphasize the activity instead of the experience. Your presence is the single greatest gift you will give your children. Keep your priorities in line when making your plans and if you don’t know what those are, now is a great time to figure that out as well.
Go enjoy your time and make your moments count. My children are grown and summers as we have known them will never be the same. We have to do our summers differently because life has moved on in the Hickem family, but you can seize your moment now.
Go make your memories. Watch your children laugh. Hug them more than usual. Look them in the eye when they speak and study them as if you are seeing them for the first time. I guarantee you summer will be better and different than anything you could have imagined.
Always,
Catherine
Catherine Hickem, L.C.S.W., is a psychotherapist, life coach and motherhood expert. Catherine is the founder of Intentional Moms, a non-profit organization that serves as a national resource for mothers; a noted speaker; and author of the forthcoming book Regret-Free Parenting: How to Raise Good Kids and Know You’re Doing It Right. Her most cherished role to date: mom to two grown children, Taylor and Tiffany.
