Mamapedia City Voices highlights the inside scoop on your city by selected writers, from up-and-coming mom bloggers to well-known mom experts.
The Hands of Time...Thoughts on Age
I don’t really obsess about age or getting older. It happens to everyone so be it. Maybe it’s because I don’t feel that old (yet) and while there is an occasional grey hair and wrinkle… I am still battling acne so it doesn’t fee like I am old. Are you allowed to have wrinkles and zits? It should be outlawed! But aging happens, to us all, and apparently when we are not looking.
I got an e-mail with a picture of the hubby and me taken at a wedding we were at this summer. It was a good picture and I was excited because we have very few pictures of us without children. Than I noticed my hand… my husband noticed my hand and he said “Well it would have been a nice picture if you hadn’t been apparently shooting up that morning, I’ll have to airbrush it”. All of a sudden I had an old lady hand!
I knew it was coming as I have the skinny, bony, veiny thin-skinned hands of my great grandma, my grandma and my mother. They might not be model hands, but they are connection to my past, to my history. I can look down at any moment and be reminded of my tenacious great grandmother who lived well into her 90’s. Until the day she died she was giving herself to others typing Braille books for the blind. I am sure I got my fiery personality and somewhat abrasive attitude from her. She was a tough cookie and she told it how she saw it, and expected everyone around her to do the same. My daughter shares her name and her spirit.
I see my grandma’s hands. The loving caring hands that would hold mine. I didn’t get enough time with her. She left us when I was so self absorbed with being a tween and a teen that I couldn’t fully appreciate her or how hard her life must have been. In death I have learned so much more of her life. I have learned her history through family pictures and stories. I am learning more then I ever knew and it makes me miss her more and more.
They are also my mother’s hands, although much warmer, as my mothers hands are always like ice. I am reminded of the lessons learned from her, good and bad and wonder how they effect my own relationship with my daughter. They also make me wonder… when will she lose her baby hands? Will her hands grow to be the skinny hands of my family or will she have the stronger working hands of her dad? What does her future hold and what kind of history will she remember when she looks at her hands?
The kids like to trace the “roads” on my hands and feel all the veins and tendons. I imagine one day, when my daughter is older, telling her how these are the hands of many generations of woman and mothers and watching to see if her hands continue the legacy of time, even if they aren’t very photogenic.
Mama B. is a former city mama of 2 trying to survive the culture shock of moving to the suburbs, as well as trying to shake the Super mom complex and live a balanced and happy life. If that’s not enough, she has decided to train for a marathon. It’s a bumpy ride but she loves every minute of it!
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Kristy, November 25, 2009
Beautiful article. I too, have my momma's bony, veiny hands, which I don't mind because they look like hers and I love her so much.
Becky V, November 25, 2009
Your post meant a lot to me. I am 47 and have my mom's hands, which were described by someone once as looking "like had been through two bodies." (I haven't worked as hard as my mom so mine are not so bad, but they still have the same wrinkly knuckles and palms.) What's strange is that my 13 year old also has these hands (my 19 year old doesn't) and she has been teased before about her wrinkly palms...
Rachel, November 25, 2009
This is so beautifully put. I have read a similar article. It is amazing what hands tell about a person. Keep up the good work. You are an awesomely skilled writer (and that takes hands)!! :)
Maria Cortes, November 25, 2009
R/E "Hands of Time". What a beautiful article on aging. I couldn't have written it better.
I too, began noticing my hands were looking withered and the skin becoming more thin. It preoccupied me very much. My husband kept reminding me to put on some hand cream. Or to find a good hand cream. I've tried. Haven't found it yet. Someone told me to drink plenty of water. I did. It helped somewhat.
But I learned to accept it and not to let it bother me. I still care and protect my hands...
gretchen Wengenroth, November 25, 2009
Thankyou. I'm the 51 year old mom of a terrific 8 year old boy who keeps me young. It's said we generally feel 10 years younger than we are and this is true for me. My hair is mostly white. I asked my son if I should color my hair, if he wasn't tired of being asked if I was his grandma. He simply said "no, you look natural". Bless his heart. I love this kid!
sharrie c., November 25, 2009
I just loved this one. It hit home with me , as I too, have skinny, bony, veiny, blue, ice cold hands. Maybe we are part vampire--just kidding.
thanks,
SC
Amanda, November 25, 2009
The one thing I will never mind about aging is my hands. As I watch them transform into my own "Granny's" hands, thin skinned and veined, I feel so connected with her. I really connect with your thoughts thank you for sharing. I always thought it was just me:)
Peg M., November 25, 2009
Lovely, lovely essay. I'm learning to hold myself tenderly as I age, be thankful for the experience and wisdom that my face and body represents.
I just turned 62, and I'm definitely looking old. Gravity, oxidation, childbirth, hormones and a lifetime of work show in my skin, my hair, the proportion of muscle to fat. And I feel pretty good about myself, unless I compare what my heart shows me to what the media shows me.
But I want to own my life, my experience, my aging...
Whitney, November 25, 2009
I have had veiny hands for my entire life... it's okay!
Araceli , November 25, 2009
....thinking of my mothers hands. while in the hospital, Nurses trying to find a good vane to insert a needle to draw blood or to insert an IV. Her hands bruised from all the poking. I am thankful for my skinny cold hands.
Aging is part of life.
Melaney, November 25, 2009
I have always loved my husbands' hands. We married at nineteen when they were strong, large and used to pursue and conquor his dreams. He left for Afghanistan shortly after we married as a soldier in the Army. He returned a long time later, after nearly dying overseas and much plastic surgery to repair damage from his wounds...
geralyn, November 26, 2009
Lovely article, my hands have always been old looking, I am finally catching up with them!!
Eva, November 26, 2009
Beautiful words, growing old is part of life but your heart always remains young. The hands express your inner feelings and the life you have lived. Grany's hands... hard working hands... holding children, grandchildren... extending to help..., caressing you loved ones,.. it can tell so many happenings.... Growing old... yes, feeling old no yet. Thank you for your beautiful article. Just 58 and counting.
Yvonne, December 10, 2009
I loved your story. I have may dads hands and take after him in everyway. When I looked up on them I think the are just short, stuby & callased hands but at the same time, its a memory maker. I always think of my dad (God rest his wonderful soul) when I look at my hands and a memory of some sort will float through my mind. I guess all and all I like them just because of that, in that he was was a kind, sweet, loving, hard working, humorous gentle man...
