Friendship for my Daughter

We got the most wonderful gift today.

I was home with the kids, and Jason was at work. It was a typical day off; me still in my pajamas, (I never seem to have enough time to get myself together), keeping Vivian out of danger (now that she is walking), getting E exercised (not an easy feat for a child with cerebral palsy), both kids fed, not fighting, etc. I had just put Viv down for a nap, and was getting E’s lunch together, when something extremely unexpected happened.

Our doorbell rang.

Two neighbor girls were at my door in their snowsuits.

“Can Elena come out and play?”

HUH? Honestly I did not know what to say; this has NEVER happened before. Sure, E has seen and probably played with these girls in some fashion, maybe while we were all on the same swing set in the summertime. Or some other time when everyone was already outside. But for someone to approach our door, blindly, asking E, without provocation, to come and play? IN THE SNOW?! The conditions could NOT be more difficult… I mean… were they serious?! Elena cannot walk more than two steps in snow…how were these two (very ambitious) girls going to handle this?
I asked the girls inside. I directed my caution at M, the older of the two girls (she’s 10). “I hope you realize Elena is… um… difficult to handle, especially in the snow…”

“Oh I know," said M, cutting me off. "I see Elena every day at school at recess. She gives me a hug every day. I can handle it.”

I’M SHOCKED. “Okay… well, I can’t go outside with you girls, as I need to be with Vivian… but I’ll come out as soon as I can. You just come in the door and holler if you need help.”

And I’m thinking, any minute now, they are going to come in and start yelling that E is face-first in the snow and they can’t get her up. I’m trying not to freak out, looking out the front window as they help her into the snow. They play in the snow fort we made up the past few days, and they’re just hanging out. WHEW.

Then I start crying. No one has ever come up to our house before to ask if E can play. EVER. It’s just so… normal. And these girls weren’t phased at all by E’s difficulties… they were so nice, encouraging, sweet. So I got on the phone to M’s mom, trying not to cry, but thanking her so much, as this little act of friendship meant so very much to our family. M’s mom said 1) that she didn’t know anything about M’s plan to ask E to play, and 2) M talks about E just about every day. She says M has really noticed how E has changed this year. I’m amazed someone so young notices so much about my hard-working daughter.

Then my door opens. “Is Elena allowed to sled?” asks A, the younger of the two girls. “Sure”, I say, wondering how they are going to get E up a considerable-size hill in thick, slick, iced-over snow. I start figuring out a way to get Viv’s monitor outside and put on my boots and coat over my pjs. I run outside…

To see that M and E have already gone down the hill once. E is LOVING IT. I have no idea how M’s little 10-yr old body could hoist E up that hill, I’m sure E didn’t walk up it herself, but somehow they did it. I got out and helped, as I’m sure they couldn’t carry E forever. I’d help E walk up the hill, then they would sled down with her. A’s dad was outside, and again, I broke into tears about how special this day was. He has 4 kids, all normally developing… but he understood. Both M and A both have younger siblings, so if they wanted to play with someone younger they could have. But they came to our house, to play with E, to help her and just be around her, because they felt like it.

The most ordinary thing in the world, right? No… not for us. For us, today was extraordinary.

Amy is a work-hard, play-hard multitasking wife and mother of two. She is lucky to have a supportive family and friends, and lives in a great town for children with (and without) disabilities. Elena is her firstborn, born at 33 weeks with mild spastic diplegia. Vivian is her second-born, almost at 28 weeks, but with a lot of help, made it to 38 1/2 weeks and developing normally. “Amy keeps a blog”:":http://elenadoodle.blogspot.com about Elena’s milestones and events related to having a child with a disability.