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Straddling Motherhood and Menopause

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I nearly broke my neck as I stepped off the bottom stair because my foot did not meet the floor as expected. Instead, a size 2 tennis shoe was lying in wait. Weighed down with a laundry basket, I had no choice but to flail around and accept the reality that I was about to turn my ankle and eat some laminate flooring.

I had a Mommy Meltdown of epic proportions which included yelling, The Mad Mom Face, arm flailing, more than a few wagging fingers and a hefty dose of guilt thrown in for good measure. “Do you know what could have happened to me? I could have broken my leg!”

I felt justified in my anger considering how many times I’ve asked them to pick up their things, and yet at the same time, there was a tiny voice in my head telling me it was quite possible my reaction was a teeeeensy bit over the top. That I was, perhaps, a wee bit out of control. Then I started to cry. At least I stopped yelling, right?

Last Thursday I had a meeting with a work colleague. Five minutes from walking out the door, I glanced at my calendar*s* – yes, all THREE of them. I saw I was about to be extremely early to my meeting… by about 24 hours.

The Wednesday before Thanksgiving I woke up at 3:00 a.m. ready to start our family trip from San Diego to San Francisco and discovered I started my period. Nothing says have a fun eight-hour car ride! quite like getting your period, right? Two days later my period had all but disappeared. Seven days later I was up 3lbs, I couldn’t button my pants and I was pretty sure my left ovary was trying to forcefully remove itself from my body… by way of my abdomen.

I’m a mom of two elementary school children. I’m co-president of the PTA, a room mom and I just volunteered to make four dozen cookies for my 1st grader’s Happy Birthday Jesus party next week and here’s what I’ve discovered:

I’m straddling Motherhood and Menopause.

One leg is knee-deep in motherhood while the other is ankle deep in Menopause. Or, more accurate, Perimenopause.

A brief Google search will tell you Perimenopause typically begins in a woman’s 40’s but can also occur in her 30’s. And it lasts anywhere from 4-10 years. FOUR. TO. TEN. YEARS!! Some symptoms include:

  • Hot flashes… check
  • Worsening of PMS… check
  • Fatigue… is there a Mom on the planet who doesn’t have this?
  • Irregular Periods… check
  • Urine Leakage… trampolines, sneezes or extremely funny jokes, anyone?
  • Mood Swings… not if you put your shoes in the freaking basket!
  • Difficulty Sleeping… since I was three months pregnant 10 years ago!

Is it me or are the “Symptoms of Perimenopause” similar to the “Side Effects of Motherhood?”

I’m awoken in the night by sudden sweating, the need to pee or a child telling me he’s going to throw up. (Why is my bedroom their first stop? Doesn’t logic tell you the bathroom is the place to go?)

I’m tracking permission slips and signing up to bring sugar cookies to the class party while fielding mailers from AARP. I’m packing lunches and pounding St. John’s Wart to stop myself from simultaneously yelling my head off and bursting into tears.

I once thought this was the face of Menopause…

The reality is more like this…



I may rock some skinny jeans with high boots as I’m heading to see Mumford and Sons for the third time, but I’m also stopping in the bathroom twice before the show even starts because if there’s jumping and dancing involved, I need my bladder to be on “E.”

The reality is, ladies, we are facing yet another crossroads in our life. Just as we transitioned from single woman, to wife, and working professional, to mom — many of us are smack dab in the middle of yet another transition. And this one could last up to TEN YEARS.

Mothering while Menopausing ain’t easy and I’m a bit concerned I’m leaving a trail of bodies in my wake. My poor kids never know if I’m going to laugh, yell or cry when they do something wrong. I feel like an animal in the zoo as they awkwardly wait, unmoving, avoiding eye contact and silent, to see my response to the news that they have a test the following day and they forgot their study guides. Trust me kids, I’m not always entirely sure how I’m going to respond either.

But like most transitions in life, I’ll muddle through. Just like I figured out how to balance being a mother and a professional (well, sort of) I will navigate the choppy waters of hormonal shifts and homework. As long as there’s chocolate and a little bit of whiskey around we can pretty much get through anything, right?

Menopause… it’s not just for Grandmas.

That’s just my normal.

Vicky’s a Southern California wife and mother who works in Social Media and Communications. However, she can most often be found picking up shoes and socks littering the house. She has been featured on Scary Mommy, Studio30Plus and is a regular contributor to a local family magazine. You can follow along as she chronicles her adventures while raising two boys while still growing up herself at The Pursuit of Normal. She is also a proud contributor to the newly published HerStories Project. You can follow her on Facebook, and Twitter.

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