Photo by: RVing Gal

Sometimes She Reads Books the Way Daddy Watches TV

by JoAnn Rasmussen of "The Casual Perfectionist"
Photo by: RVing Gal

I think we’ve reached the stage where we could totally go without naps. And, by “we,” I mean my three-year old, Claire. And, by “totally go without,” I mean she still needs them but I’m not fighting it anymore. And, by “not fighting it anymore,” I mean I’ve resorted to trickery.

Actually, truth be told, I’ve been doing this for a while now. Trickery, that is. As any parent of a preschooler will tell you, there’s a fine line between trickery and clever parenting. And, I’m okay with both descriptions if the results are favorable to both parties.

Claire was always a good sleeper as a baby, so I really can’t complain. Overall, she was a great napper as a toddler, so I realize we’re lucky. It’s just been up until recently that the nap-times have really started to fade. Of course, my tactics change when they become obsolete, morphing into the next trick up my sleeve.

Still, life for everyone is much more pleasant when the preschooler takes her nap, so I still try to push her, ever so gently, in that direction, whenever I can.

“Oh, no!” I’ll tell her. “You don’t have to take a nap. Why don’t you just snuggle under your blankets and read books? Which books do you want to read?”

I read books to her throughout the day, but she also likes to “read” them to herself or her baby or stuffed animals.

She requests her favorite books, and I get her all situated in her bed. Fluffed pillow? Check. Soft blankets? Check. Books to read? Check. Babydoll Daisy, Puppy and any other StoryTime participants? Check. Keeping my giddiness in check over a possible nap-time? Check.

I try not to smile too widely as I tiptoe for the door. I try not to sound too excited as I wish her a happy book reading time. A nap? No, there are no naps here. I’m careful not to mention anything about naps from this point on. Naps are for little kids who need to sleep, and not for little kids who want to read books in bed.

“Okay, Claire,” I say quietly. “Have fun reading to Daisy and Puppy!”

As I get things straightened up in my office, I can hear her reading her Busy Book to the creatures in her bed. It’s one of her favorites. A few moments pass, and by the time I get settled down to start on my own To Do List, I realize that her room is quiet. So, I sneak down the hallway and peek in.

A quiet calmness has descended. My “Just read books in your bed; you don’t have to sleep” tactic has taken another napless preschooler off guard. Luckily, I know the secret. Sometimes she reads books the way Daddy watches TV. And, how is that? Let’s just say there are closed eyelids involved.

JoAnn has combined two passions on her blog, The Casual Perfectionist. She is a self-proclaimed perfectionist, but doesn’t consider herself to be the stuffy, up-tight kind. She’s more of a casual perfectionist, hence the name of her website. She tries her hardest to focus on the positive, learn from the negative, and laugh at both. In fact, she is a firm believer in the notion that if you haven’t laughed today, you weren’t really paying attention.

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16 Comments

Love it. Maybe that's what I can use for my 3 year old who clearly needs naps and refuses to take them. Actually, I'll have to go do that right now...

I also love it!!! However my son has a real problem in that he has a huge attention span and never has been the best sleeper. He seems to be able to will those eyes to stay open no matter how tired - he just gets up and starts bouncing...

Nice twist on an old tactic. My grandma who watched me and several cousins never had nap time but did have quiet time in the afternoon. we all layed down and we could "read" to ourselves or talk but in whispers only during quiet time.. No I don;t want to nap trauma and works like a charm

Your situation sounds very similar to mine. I have two girls, 3 and 4 and they have always been good sleepers andnappers, but I, too, had to give up the "nap." We now call it "rest time" and I tell them that they don't have to sleep but they have to rest because their body needs it. They also love to "read" to their dolls and animals and always do end up sleeping...

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Well is very god tactic except my 5 year old only likes to be read to and not to read herself, so I have told her, whenever we are home and I notice her tired little self starting to get restless, that she is in charge of mommy and whenever MOMMY looks like she is very tired she HAS to put MOMMY to sleep so we go together under the covers, she makes MOMMY close her eyes and so does she so MOMMY doesn't feel alone and then my little girl just happens to fall asleep before I can even peak to see if the trick has worked...She is 5 and she no longer takes naps everyday but whenever i need to I just yawn and let it happend!! it works like a charm!!! (Besides she loves being in charge of Mommy)

This works like a charm for bedtimes too :) I used to tell my kids they didn't have to go to sleep if they weren't tired (which of course we know they WERE) but they had to stay in bed and make me THINK they were asleep. Therefore they had to stay in bed and be quiet ... they could read or draw or whatever, but they couldn't get out of bed and they had to be quiet. They LOVED "tricking" mommy hehehe.

The things we come up with as parents :) Whatever works as far as I'm concerned.

I like this idea as well. When my children were at this age, I did require them to have "quiet time" which meant I didnt bother them and they couldnt bother me! It taught them empathy for my feelings, and that break helped me to be a better mom who worked at home.

Love this too! Thanks for the idea!

oh, i wish that worked on my daughter! She's been doing that for weeks and still hasn't napped. <sigh> so glad it works for some though.

Great approach to "quiet time." I should give that a try as well!

Wonderful idea. I also used to put on soothing music and lie down together and say, "What does this song make you see? What does it make you feel? Let's close our eyes and imagine..." then I would hum along softly and encourage her to do the same. I never said we were going to take a nap, but we surely did!

I used to tell my son that he needed to have quiet time in his room for 2 hours. I would set the timer and if he could come out when the timer went off. I told him he can read books or play quietly but could not come out of the room. Most of the time he fell asleep but either way I got my quiet time.

Excellent solution! I weened two boys with the lets read technique. They were not good sleepers and way to busy to "read" themselves but would slow down for special reading time with mom. I would read them to sleep and not have to nurse. They got good educational time and a great way to get them to sleep!

I have been using that since my son was 3! He is 5 now, and does not take naps anymore. He still has a little quiet time every day where he sits on his bed and reads books for up to an hour. He does not sleep, but it gives me time to do a little house-cleaning, and he is less cranky throughout the rest of the day after having his little quiet time.

That is so beautiful. I tell my daughter that she does not need to sleep, just cuddle mommy for a little quite time. It usually works, but I usually fall asleep with her... I love this idea!

I would love to share it at www.passionparent.com if I could. Please let me know

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