Self Esteem Pick Me Ups for Kids

Poor self esteem in children is fairly common. Many times it comes and goes in phases but for some children it’s more prevalent.

My 8 year old son, Joey, has experienced low self image for several years. He has trouble learning in school, expressing his emotions, slightly slower motor skills than other kids his own age plus he has short term memory deficit. There were so many obstacles to overcome every day from reading and remembering his assignments to keeping up with his friends on the playground. Never winning a race or being the first one with the correct answer; no wonder he didn’t have confidence in himself. He saw himself as a “Loser” with a capital “L”.

After battling this problem for a couple of years, I finally received valuable insight from our school’s special education team. Identify your child’s weaknesses AND strengths. It’s pretty easy to see what your kid can and cannot do well. The trick is going deeper than the surface.

Joey wasn’t good at Tee Ball which baffled me since he practiced all the time. Once I took a deeper look I found several factors beyond his control: slower motor skills and short term memory deficit. He could not physically keep up with his teammates and had massive problems remembering all the rules of the game.

Joey’s strengths are abundant. He’s incredibly creative telling detailed stories along with illustrations. He enjoys being in the kitchen, helping me with new recipes for my blog but, Joey’s most endearing quality is his desire to help others. There’s not a day that goes by, he’s not trying to help another (usually younger kid) at the playground, on the video game, etc.

The key is finding the methods to enhance those positive qualities. Do not compare your child to everyone else… including you or hubby “at their age” and their other siblings. Each child is different. Intentionally celebrate the differences instead of trying to fix them.

Take action to compliment your child’s strengths. Removing Joey from team sports and placing him in Taekwondo was one of the first things we did. Taekwondo allows him to learn in a group but progress at his individual level. Taekwondo also teaches discipline and will allow him to help younger belts when he’s achieved a higher rank. This compliments his learning ability, accommodates his motor skills, plus gives him an outlet to help others.

Work as a team. Talk with caregivers, family members, teachers, principals, and guidance counselors about your concerns. After talking with the Joey’s teachers, his assignments were modified to a level he can reasonably accomplish. Improved grades have DRAMATICALLY increased his self image, mood, and willingness to participate in class and homework assignments.

Use wise words. When words and phrases like “Loser” or “I SUCK!” come out of your child’s mouth, replace them with positive words and phrases.

Encourage them to use phrases like “That game was hard” or “Better luck next time” or even a funny phrase like “Worm spit” can help alleviate some of the stress a child feels. If the feelings are too big for them to put into words, have your child draw a picture about their feelings.

Joey was recently diagnosed with a high functioning form of Autism Spectrum Disorder. Self esteem is a daily battle for us but these strategies have significantly improved my son’s quality of life as well as his self image. He’s a much happier boy now he see’s himself in a brighter more positive light. Written in response to Low Self Esteem in My Son. http://www.mamapedia.com/article/low-self-esteemin-my-sonhelp

Jennifer is a SAHM of three children living in the rural upper Midwest. Sharing my love frugal and meager living through smart spending, crafty cooking, and simple crafts.