Photo by: The Muuj

Saying Goodbye to the American Dream

Photo by: The Muuj

There’s life after foreclosure. I know, because I’m living it.

As I sit here, surrounded by flat cardboard waiting to be taped into boxes, mounds of laundry scattered and trampled into soft carpet, garbage bags full of toy scraps, battered and ripped children’s books interspersed with black shriveled and stiff banana peels, I’m relieved.

Yes, relieved.

Three years ago we moved back to Fresno to be near family, a new job and a chance to purchase our first home. The relocation wasn’t decided on lightly. It took much consideration to leave a town we loved. Even more difficult was trying to judge how the change would affect our oldest son who was challenged with autism.

Purchasing a home was easier than pulling money out of my 401k for the closing costs. The difficulty was in paying the monthly mortgage. But that was OK. We were finally living the American Dream. This was how it worked.

At least that was what I was raised to believe. You purchased a home knowing it would be financially difficult for awhile. The first few years you slave to the mortgage, pinch pennies and cut out extras and, after a few pay raises, it got easier. In about five years you breathe again, feel proud to own a home and watch rental rates soar above your monthly mortgage payment and know you did good.

What I didn’t factor in was multi-year wage freeze, a pay cut, becoming pregnant after 15 years infertility, living in the hospital for a month and missing a house payment. That and my house didn’t gain value, it plummeted. In less than two years it was valued 130,000 dollars less than purchase price.

Really, who could predict that?

The fix wasn’t simple, nor expected to be. Thankfully, the bank was willing to work with us. As money-strapping as the mortgage was, we’d pay an additional large sum every month until we became current. That meant even some of the basics had to be cut. Trips to the grocery store would be sparse and Top Ramen would be our once-again friend. Starbucks became a fuzzy memory and a precarious tightrope act began on what bills to pay and what to delay.

Each month was more difficult. Complicating it further were accrued late fees, penalties and insane electric bills. Another phone call to the mortgage company introduced us to the Home Affordability Mortgage Program (H.A.M.P.). If we just called this other number we might qualify for help.

Reaching these folks was its own frustrating adventure of busy signals, two hour hold times that abruptly disconnected. It took months to make contact with a human.

Still we persevered, jumped hoops, faxed and FedEx’d requested paperwork and were elated to find out we qualified for the trial period. Finally, hope and relief!

That was the beginning of the real tailspin.

“What do you mean you won’t take my payment?” I was stunned. The voice on the other end didn’t make sense. Why didn’t they want my money? “I don’t understand.”

The bank representative said, “You’ve been dropped from the program and it’ll take 14,000 dollars to bring your account current.”

What in the hell? Clearly, she was wrong. “This isn’t right. I’ve been making payments.”

“Yes, but you’ve been dropped from H.A.M.P. and now need to bring the account current. Partial payments aren’t accepted.”

“OK, so that still doesn’t explain why I owe fourteen grand. Where did my money go?” WTF did they do with it?

She muttered something about a suspended account.

All I know is while I was partially one month behind when this started. Now, I was close to seven months behind and never going to catch up. I needed more information and was transferred to an account manager. Well, to her voice mail anyhow.

This happened several times. What I pieced together from the first-tier reps and the internet are my payments went into a suspended account and weren’t applied to the mortgage. If I qualified for the permanent plan, those months would be been forgiven or rolled into the loan or something. The money can’t be applied to what is currently owed and I won’t get it back. Yet, when I lose at the house at auction, the bank keeps it. This also applies to any overage in the escrow account.

Essentially, I lined the pockets of the bank while they moved closer to foreclosure. At least that is what it seems like.

So yeah, my credit is trashed, the bills are really late or unpaid, and I can kiss my home goodbye. I could be crying, but really I just feel relieved.

We’ll start over. A rented house is still a home as long as I’ve got my family. And, with rent being almost half our mortgage, we can now invest in other ventures like karate and gymnastics, family trips, music lessons, and college for the kids. Perhaps even an occasional date night can be squeezed in.

The shackles are off and we now wander free from the house we slaved to own. I’ve got a husband and kids to love, a life to lead, friends to meet, new neighbors to make and a book to write.

So goodbye American Dream. I’ve got new dreams now.

Genevieve Hinson is a writer, wife and mom to two boys and a girl. She works as a social media coordinator for Children’s Hospital Central California by day, and a writer and blogger by night.

Like This Article

Like Mamapedia

Learn From Moms Like You

Get answers, tips, deals, and amazing advice from other Moms.

107 Comments

We foreclosed on our condo in 2007, also due to a ton of mitigating circumstances. We put it on the market when we left for my new job, where I worked for one week before being told to resign when I told them I was pregnant. I went back to my old job, but in a new office, and couldn't pay rent in one state, mortgage in another, and day care, so we foreclosed. My new mantra: RENTING IS NOT A TRAGEDY. Also, since the banks refused the short sale, I refuse to feel guilty...

See entire comment

I facilitate Financial Peace University (Dave Ramsey's program). You story has a very familiar ring to it. I have had people in my classes that have had the same experience. Whether it is a "government program" or otherwise, the results have been the same, huge loss of money, the home, and their dreams. I want to thank you for alerting others, and more importantly, putting the whole picture in perspective. You have your family, and that is the real issue. Keep us posted.

WOW! Extremely motivational as our family is going through that very thing now. We have been constantly screwed with through endless requests for more documentation, then we wait for the next package asking for the very same thing. We have yet to get an answer and feel pretty confident that we would qualify for the program. I can relate to your feeling of relief because I am sure I would feel the same way.
Thank you for writing and good luck with everything in you and your family's future.

We where in the same situation,I tried everything with the bank, when they told me of a program similar to the one you where in, i did some research and found no one could stay in the program and they never gave notice that you where dropped, so we decided to surrender the house and get on with are life... this decision wasn't hard to do, because the bank was so rude to us and I even had one of the workers call me a b**ch and he hung up on me.....

See entire comment

Welcome back, Genevieve. Welcome back to your family and a life again! I'm just so sorry that you had to go through all of this. Thank you for giving us your story and I wish you the best of luck as you move forward in your new home.

I am all for moving forward and not looking back, but that SUCKS! Keep telling your story. There has to be a way to get your money back. You acted in good faith and somebody else did not. And get going on those date nights. My family went through something similar a few years back. I believed that we survived and was thrilled to have my family moving forward, but unbeknownst to me, my husband was having different feelings about what was going on.

I want to thank all of you for your posts. I am not alone! I am currently unemployed, the medical facility I worked at was closed by State, and I had purchased a home 9 years ago, was my first, put a lot of work into it, and can't find another job in this area, but found jobs in other states...

See entire comment

So glad to have seen this. We're currently 3 months behind with a story similar to your own. (Bought our home in the DC suburbs <pricey area>; made payments for 4 years without problem...and then learned we were expecting twins <after I had a tubal ligation 10 years ago!> I spent 5 months on bedrest, had to leave my job, and now have a $30,000 per year childcare bill if I return to FT work...

See entire comment

you have your family, and that is what matters most. Any house can become a home, it is the love that you all will fill it with,that makes it that way!!!I have no doubt that you will.
Happy New Dreams, & God Bless

WOW. We just went through the same process, but received the paperwork this week for the approved loan modification. Our small family is housed in a small mobile home, but it is our home. I am so thankful we settled for this home 10 years ago instead of the homes worth four times as much that the realtor was trying to push on us. We never would have made it. God bless you and your family - things can only get better :-)

Wow, I'm so overwhelmed and touched by all of your comments. It was my hope our story could be of help to others and help highlight what's happening with these modifications.

We have moved into a rental home and are enjoying life without the constant stress of how to make ends meet. Yes, credit is trashed and this was a huge mess -- but we're doing really well emotionally and as a family. Loving our date nights and activities with the kids.

If you're going through this, let someone know...

See entire comment

i know how u feel, even though we havent lost our home(fingers crossed, knock on wood) we are now a sigle family car owner, yes we made the mistake of calling our banker( who said anytime u need anything i am here for u if things get tight call me) so crazy me did when my husbands hours where cut i called and told him lets refinace a car that wasnt worht anyhting to anyone but me had 1 yr left on it and could of helped lower the payment by half
i was told dont worry i am on it u will here form me soon 30 days later i seen my friend mr banker at the store he said dont worry i am working on it, 42 days later at 4:45p.m i get a call from my freind mr banker who ask if i am home i say yes why? he said the repossesser is on his way to get ur car u havent made any payemnts in 2 months?? i tell him HI HAVE WE JUST MET? i siad no i will bring it too u dont send the small town repo man who everyone knows to my home( he lives 2 houses down from me) so it ake it tot he bank and throw the keys on his desk and in my most nicest voice that i could muster so i didnt cry in the bank WFT? he said dont worry i have someone who wants to buy it?
i am sorry what? i never said i wanted to sell it he said i knew u couldnt make the payments anymore so i thought this was best.. so he sold it and i had to pay the remander of it and he tells me dont worry if u ever need a loan from me again all u have to do is get a co signer and collateral and i will look inot maybe letting u have a loan?.but long story (sorry)
short, i understand how u feel even though it wasnt a home i lost but a car i felt relieve and it felt great

p.s. we ended up filing banckruptcy and now i dont lay awake at night owrrying who will call next or show up.. i know people say never file banckruptyc but our credit was pretty much ruined anywyas we figure what could it hurt now we have a car that paid for and a home that almost affordable ..lol..

Thank you for sharing this. I have never walked the road that you and so many people have been or are on and it is very easy to slip into generalizations and assumptions about "those people". When you and others share your stories it puts faces and names and stories to this crisis and makes it way harder to generalize or judge.

husband lost his job 1 month before #2 was born - rented - had to move in with family - would have lost everything had we not moved with family. turned out to be 6 months of enjoying family time. stressed a bit about coming close to not making ends meet, but survived. back to renting - not sure if we want to buy for fear of losing another job.
either way - enjoy your years with your family - homes can come and go - but you will never regret the family time...

See entire comment

These Banks arn't going to work with people only because they will make a profit at the end.. They all placed mortgage protection on these loans knowing bad things would happen down the road. I believe someone will start a class action law suit against these banks in the final hour. Get ready It will come and we can all jump on the wagon. We all have been lied to by our goverment and betrade by our lenders. carma baby, carma...

See entire comment

Leave a Comment

Required
Required (will not be published)
Required (to prove you're human)
Comments are moderated and generally will be posted if they are on topic and not abusive
For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us
Want to become a contributor?
Want to become a contributor?

If you'd like to contribute to the Wisdom of Moms on Mamapedia, please sign up here to learn more: Sign Up

Recent Voices Posts

See all