Mamapedia City Voices highlights the inside scoop on your city by selected writers, from up-and-coming mom bloggers to well-known mom experts.
Say "I Love You" While You Can
One week ago today my friend Dana died suddenly and unexpectedly in her sleep. We still don’t know exactly what happened. She was my age, 49. Actually Dana was one month and eleven days younger than me! She was healthy, fit, vibrant, full of energy, and lit up a room when she entered it.
She was also an amazing mom! Her two boys are 14 and 18. Her older son is one of my son’s college roommates. Her younger son is in my high school daughter’s freshman class; they’ve been friends since 5th grade. Last semester her son and my daughter both homeschooled. They did their science and math classes together, and I grew even closer to Dana during that time. Their math teacher was a nursing mom who often nursed her baby in the sling during class time. Sometimes it was a little awkward for a 14 year old boy. But Dana told him that he had nursed and how completely natural it was.
It’s always hard when kids leave the nest, but Dana did all she could to make it a smooth transition. We all went down to help our boys get moved in (there are 3 roommates who all played HS soccer together). She made frequent Sam’s runs so the boys would have plenty of food. After the last shopping trip, her son said “I love You” before he headed back to school. She told him that she loved him, too. That was the last time he saw her.
Dana did a great job of raising two incredible young men of faith who have the resources necessary to make it through this time. We never know how long we’ll be given to enjoy and love our kids. Sometimes mothering can be overwhelming. You feel like if you have to change another diaper, wipe another snotty nose or mediate another sibling fight, you’ll go stark-raving mad. But when you’re right in the middle of that, remember what a gift your kids are. Remember what a gift life is. And pause for a minute; then say “I love you.”
Glenni has been married for for 25 years, and has 4 children ranging from 10 to 20. She also publishes Valley Babies magazine to provide education, information, support and encouragement to hopeful, expectant and new parents. Her book, Breastfeeding, God’s Design for Mothers and Babies will be available some time this year. If you would like to be on her mailing list, contact her on her site.
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Barbara, December 3, 2009
I am so sorry for your loss, the world's loss. Take care of those she left behind. Treasure your friends, everyone!
Barbara
Gretchen Willis, December 3, 2009
What a beautiful and touching story.
Glenda, December 3, 2009
I so agree with the above story. My daughter was 16 and on Thanksgiving weekend 2004 she was crossing a street when a car hit her and threw her 47 feet. The last words she said to me where I Love you Mom as she called to make aggrangements for me to pick her up at a friends house. So no matter who is in your life you should always tell them you Love them. OK your mad at them right now who cares you may never see them again tell them you Love them but yes, I am angry with you...
L9inda, December 3, 2009
When my daughter was in high school I read about a young man who had been fighting with his mom...he left the house but came back in to say "remember, I love you" to his mother. He was killed in a car accident shortly after. But his mother always remembered. My daughter and I (along with some of my friends) will just say "remember" to get the point across. It works well for children who don't wan to say it in front of their friends, etc...
Dana, December 3, 2009
So, ironically, my name is Dana, too.
On June 10, 2008 (the day before our sons 2nd birthday, our daughter was 10 weeks old), I was diagnosed with Stage II Hodgkins Lymphoma.
My normally "glass 1/2 empty" outlook became very positive and perseverent. I'm now over a year out of chemo and in good health.....for now. Anything can happen in the future, so I know each day is a gift.
Our kids are now 3.5 and 20 months. Not a day goes by that I don't tell them how much I love them...
Peggy, December 3, 2009
I am so sorry for your loss. Dana sounds like a very special person and I can tell how much you loved her. Unfortunately, these things are a sad reminder of what we need to do all the time. You are so right when you say we need to remember what a gift our kids are to us and us to them. The teenage years are definitely the hardest but that's the time they need our love and acceptence the most. Please know that I will keep all of you in my prayers. Thank you for sharing.
Tiffany, December 3, 2009
I'm sorry for your loss and completely agree with your story. On April 27th, 2009, just days after my 33rd birthday, I was riding my bicycle training for my first triathlon when a car struck me T-bone fashion. Though I was wearing a helmet that saved my life, I was knocked out for 10-20 minutes to later find out I had sustained a multitude of injuries including a brain bleed that needed to stabilize while in the care of ICU. My eldest of two daughters was 5 days from her 3rd birthday...
Sheryl, December 4, 2009
I know you and all her family and friends will miss her. I've had 4 friends loose their husbands. I can't imagine life without mine. The past couple of years I've been overly anxious about something maybe happening to my husband or children, but then I have to catch myself worrying and remember that God is in control and that He already knows when their (or my) days are up. So all I can do is love them well and pray that they know their Lord...
Michele, December 5, 2009
I'm so sorry for your loss and for Dana's family's loss. It's true; only God knows how long each of us will be here. We just have to treasure each day and make the most of them. My son went to Heaven four years ago when he was only 8 years old. He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt how much his father and I did, and still do, love him because we told him all the time through words and deeds...
