Parents, Cyber Bullying is Real - Talk to Your Kids

Bullying in schools is very real! Cyber-bullying magnifies the intensity of bullying behaviors because it provides a platform for bullies to reach more people; thus enhancing the magnitude and impact that these statements have on the targeted person. Parents and school officials need to tune into and call attention to inappropriate comments and bullying behaviors. People need to be held accountable for their actions - no matter what age they are. As parents, we guide and teach our children (beginning at a very young age) that saying mean things and participating in unkind behavior is not acceptable. That teaching needs to continue through adolescent years as well.
Years ago (pre internet) bullies had to work harder to target and cause harm to their intended victims. Bullying was more direct and involved a smaller audience; Now, with the stroke of a few keys on a computer bullies are able to humiliate and target others on a grand scale. It has become effortless to now involve hundreds in a situation that used to be between two people. Its sad to acknowledge that our teens have so little regard for the impact that cruelty has on others. Through the years of empowering our children to grow into healthy and successful adults............. we seemed to have forgotten to teach kindness and compassion. Parents are not powerless, but we seem to have given far too much power and authority to our children.

What is the worst of crimes? Pedophilia of little kids or of teens? Violence in families of teens or violence of spouses? Bulleying among peers or adult/minor?

I was repeatedly molested by a brother 6 years older when I was 13, was physically hurt by a father who rearranged my jaw and was mocked in school because I was smart, thin, but looked ugly.

I'm 50 now and I believe the most damaging to my life was the bullying. Books and therapy helped me understand sexual abuse, dentist and doctors can fix physical abuse (but it took forever to earn the money for it!) but the stupid mocking and mental torment has been awful. Many women seem to be most critical of their physical appearance as is; bullying makes it many times worse and those childhood experiences don't disappear because you leave school.

My granddaughter was told on line to kill herself. The person told her to go and drown herself and a lot of people would smile. How sick is that!!! I photocopied what the person wrote to her. This person is a friend of a person who lives by us but the friend lives in another state and is 18 years old.
I cannot believe that this is handled through the school districts. If you are dealing with someone who is 18 and supposed to be an adult you are up a creek.
We need laws to protect our children!

Not just cyber-bullying, but the old fashioned type as well is something we as adults need to be aware of. As a victim of bullying myself when I was in junior high, I know about the life long effects. It affects your sense of self and self-worth. One thing that appalls me is when parents, teachers or other adult authority figures do nothing to stop it or say things like "this is a normal part of growing up." Yes kids do need to learn to fend for themselves but they only do that by learning from adults who model self-respect and respect for others. Kids no matter how old deserve boundaries and protection from adults.

WOW... this really concerns me. My daughter is 8, and just got a computer for Christmas (last Christmas - and her b-day is 12/26th)... I don't see this happening with her, and we have very strict parental controls on her computer, and she can only use it in front of us. But, I am just so concerned for what I am in for, in the coming years. She does come home school upset about drama and kids being mean - and I am talking about 1st and 2nd grade! I remembered some of this behavior in like, 7th grade. But, 1st and 2nd grade? To her credit, my daughter has many friends, and the little mishaps have worked themselves out, and I really haven't had to get too worried - YET (!!!!!) But, I can see that this is going to be an issue, and it really worries me... Damn! Things are so much more complicated than when I was growing up (ok, now I sound like my mother!)
The good thing - for me - is that I talk to my daughter about EVERYTHING (within reason). My ex-H thinks I am being too much of her "friend", and not enough of a "Mom". But, I had a Mom who never discussed ANYTHING with me - didn't even talk to me about getting my period! So, I don't want to make those same mistakes. In closing, I really feel for kids today, and I really FEAR for kids today - because they are exposed to so much. They are growing up faster. And, the internet, as wonderful as it is, contributes to that. I doubt this post was helpful, but I guess I just agree that its hard, and that we have to monitor things A LOT... And, maybe with the fact that we are in the "information age", I can have a more open relationship with my kids, than my parents had with me. I hope for that, at least.

I think what is truly the most sad is that parents do not know or care what there kids are doing. Growing up we either had chores to do or we were outside playing. I was made fun of in high school all the time but still went to school had friends and definitely did not want to kill myself. All of this shows that this era of times outs, talking and other methods of discipline does not work. After the first time of time out or talking about our feelings the kids tune you out. They realize that there are no severe consequences for their actions so who cares. If it worked you would not see so many on this site complaining that they can not handle their childern.
It is very sad that Phoebe took her own life and I hope those kids and their parents get what they deserve.

The parents need to listen to their kids when they try to tell them. Try not to react, interrupt, just try to listen, making as many mental notes as possible, and ask what your child wants to have happen.
There is one advantage to cyber bullying, you can print out the proof! Plus, you can show the texts! Small advantage to the pain your child is going through tho. The schools need to own up and admit there IS a problem. And it is indeed a problem at EVERY school, no matter what awards the school may have recently won. It does exist!