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On Cat Wrangling & Fire Drills: How to Increase Kid Cooperation
Periodically, schools are required to set off the fire alarm, sending everyone outdoors in quiet, single-file lines in order to take roll and confirm the safety of the entire student body. The unexpected and piercing bell rings in intervals throughout the school. Teachers and students are to drop what they are doing and follow fire-drill procedures. Take your backpack. Walk in a single-file line. No talking. Find our designated spot outdoors, sit in 2 single-file lines and, once again… don’t talk.
Teachers are expected to make this transition happen quickly both for the sake of safety as well as that of their own reputation. School administrators watch carefully and wait for confirmation that all the teachers and their respective students are sitting silently and in place.
No teacher wants to be singled out as the one who hasn’t been able to get her students to conform.
Why is it such a challenge for kids to follow this procedure? It’s a relatively simple process and even kids ought to recognize that it is in their best interest to be safe. Yet, facilitating a fire drill is not so far a feat as wrangling cats. The few teachers who succeed to present a silent, uniform procession are the ones who have instilled such fear in their students that no one dares step out of line.
Parenting can often feel like a fire drill. Is there an alternative to scaring kids into submission? Is there a way to facilitate smoother transition both in the day-to-day as well as during those dreaded fire drills?
Good question. It’s all about resistance. When we deliver a command we create a power struggle. The recipient can either hand over their own power by following instruction, or they can take power by refusing to follow along. This is why half the class will line up quietly and quickly, while the other is throwing spitballs and cursing. Kids need to be a part of the team that makes, facilitates and enforces decisions. While this is certainly more time consuming than simply doling out instructions, by engaging kids in the process and the decision-making, they become invested in the results. Moreover, the impulse to curse and throw spit balls subsides. ©Gila Brown, 2009
Gila Brown, M.A. is a Child Development Expert and Parent Coach, with over 10 years of teaching experience. She specializes in parenting school-age children with grace, using principles of attachment parenting, positive disciple and effective communication.
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Wendy Young, LMSW, BCD, September 24, 2009
Gila! YES! How perfectly simple...and yet, sometimes so difficult! I LOVE classrooms that hold "Classroom Meetings" and give kids buy-in to classroom structure, rules and consequences. Some teachers work magic with kids, don't they? I like your syle!
Bonnie, September 30, 2009
Consistency is the key. I used counting to 10 in a stern voice. If that does not work time out for appropriate to age time then discuss: 1. What behavior got you put into time out? 2. What will you do next time? If they are not ready to discuss, reset the timer and leave the room. When discussion is complete hugs and encouragement are in order. I also did not count time spent screaming and protesting...only quiet reflection time. Keep resetting the timer till quiet then begin process...
KaShanda, September 30, 2009
I have preschool experience, and now that I'm pregnant I could not be more thankful for it. One thing that I learned and will hold dear in my heard forever is positive reinforcement and the ability to let the children make their own decision. It's like this: If your child is two and back talking just because he can, then this is what I say "If you continue to be upset for no reason other than you want attention, I am going to ignore you." it sounds terrible, but i do this with my nephew...
Alice T, September 30, 2009
Oh, please...I agree with kids having buy in and "owning" a part of the solution but there are times when there should be a "no questions no arguments" rule. Danger situations are those times. A parent or teacher who doesn't explain that is not doing their job. My kids know when we say "in the house now no questions" or "basement now no questions" that they need to act, act fast and quietly. We can be touchy feeling later when danger has been averted.
