Photo by: iStock

No, My Kids Don't NEED Their Own Rooms

Photo by: iStock


I know that we’re all in the parenting club so we all think it’s a fabulous idea to give each other unsolicited advice. I’m sure I’ve done it to other moms and I’m sorry. But I seriously don’t need to be told that my kids NEED their own room. I have more children then bedrooms, that doesn’t mean that I’m doing them some massive disservice.

Are You Going To Pay My Mortgage?

My husband and I bought our two bedroom townhouse in our early twenties and in a few short years we had two kids in one bedroom. Then we had our third baby a year-and-a-half ago and remodeled our basement into a master bedroom, but guess what? We’re still a room short of them each having their own room and I’m perfectly ok with that.

No, I don’t need to buy a bigger house. I get this question/suggestion ALL THE TIME and I’m not ready to go sign my life away for a MUCH higher mortgage because you think it’s in my kids’ best interest. You’re not willing to pay it for me, are you?

What Privacy?

But they will need privacy you say? Where the hell is my privacy? Seriously, at some point peeing with the door closed would be super nice.

S L O W L Y they are learning how to knock on our bedroom door before barreling through it and diving elbows and pointy knees first into groins and delicate places before our eyes are even open in the morning. Why are my kids so deserving of privacy?

What do they even really understand about privacy anyway? They are still little (8, 6 and 1) so people tend to give me a little pass with a qualifying remark, “Well, it’s fine for now, but…” But what?

Teen Angst Gets A Little Less Angsty

They absolutely need their own space in their teen years? So they can what change their clothes, do inappropriate things on the internet, or wallow in their teen angst in solitude thinking the whole world revolves around them? I actually welcome them having someone to talk to during the trying years when they are in the stage of slamming doors and shutting me out of their lives. I feel comforted to know there is someone to whisper their secrets to, deepening their sibling bond, even if it comes at the expense of my knowing a little less about what’s going on.

Boom Goes The Incentive Bomb

I have friends who have six kids and I’ll never forget their philosophy: “If they all had a room of their own, there would be no incentive to move out one day.” BOOM!

They are right! I don’t need my kids thinking they can crash here aimlessly throughout their twenties while they “figure out their lives” just because we’ve given them this nice cushy buffer between them and the real world that’s outside a knockin’.

The Whole House Is A Boxing Ring

Oh, but all the fighting you’ll have to deal with you say? Look, I’ve got three kids. Believe me when I say the fighting is going to happen whether it’s in their room, the kitchen, the living room or the bathroom. There are no boundaries or barriers forged sturdy enough to contain it.

I personally think it’s giving them a chance to figure out how to deal with conflict so it’s better they figure it out now rather than later. I’m sharing a room with their father. It’s not like we can just retreat to different rooms when we don’t feel like dealing with each other. We figure it out and so will they.

Security In Numbers

For right now, my son is still scared to be on his own. Imaginary monsters are waiting to jump out of every shadow or open door. His big sister is his security blanket. He snuggles up with her on nights he gets scared or has a nightmare. I’m glad she’s there for him when he needs her.

Right now the baby is in her own room because she needs quiet away from everyone else in order to sleep. No, I don’t know how we’re going to juggle who goes in what room as they get older.

The only thing I do know is the math. Three bedrooms, plus five family members means some bedrooms are going to be shared. It isn’t the end of the world.

In fact, there are people all over the world who would be thrilled with any kind of house, with any number of bedrooms. So if you are ACTUALLY worried about my kids, don’t be. I got this. They have a home where they are loved and all their needs are met and no, having a room of their own is NOT one of them.

How do you feel about your kids sharing a room?

Erin Johnson a.k.a. The No Drama Mama can be found blogging at her Blog The No Drama Mama and Hudson Valley Parent Magazine when she’s not wiping poop or snot off her otherwise three adorable kiddos. This frugal, “tell it like it is” mama has NO time for drama, so forget your perfect parenting techniques and follow her on Facebook or Twitter for her delightfully imperfect parenting wins and fails.

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