Mamapedia City Voices highlights the inside scoop on your city by selected writers, from up-and-coming mom bloggers to well-known mom experts.
Journey to Motherhood
Please allow me to share my story.
Growing up, all I could think about was becoming a Mommy when I got older. At the age of 19, I was told that would not happen. I had Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), children would not be in my future. I was devastated. My dream shattered, I redirected my life by diving into my career. I went to school, got a great job and dove into my career, working 45-55 hours a week.
I no longer cared about myself and I allowed my weight to balloon to 420 lbs. That made me even more depressed about my life because I had become a recluse, losing the person I was meant to be. One day I realized that if I could not have a child of my own, I would adopt. That was the summer of 2003. I began contacting different adoptions agencies both within the US and Internationally. My application was continually denied due to being “morbidly obese.” Morbidly obese. Again, there would be no children for me.
In 2004, I finally took control of myself and my destiny, and began looking into the Roux en-Y gastric bypass surgery. The next four years I did everything that was asked of me, and on June 26, 2008, I had the surgery. I lost 218 lbs and felt great. I got my life back! I could not wait to re-apply for adoption and finally have a child.
Well, on March 8, 2011, I received the best news ever: I was pregnant! It was a bit of a surprise, but the best surprise. I was a little apprehensive; after all I had been through, was this real? I was a little scared having to gain weight for my baby after I had just lost such an incredible amount, but I was ready. Nothing was stopping me now. I was finally going to be a Mommy.
During an ultrasound at 15 weeks, I found out that my miracle baby was sick. He had an enlarged bladder, an unusual finding. The next 23 weeks were literally a roller coaster. We were asked every week at our ultrasound appointment if we wished to terminate or continue on, but termination was never an option for me. Final diagnosis pre-birth was “acute prune belly syndrome with renal (kidney) failure.” It would be 100% that our baby would need a kidney transplant. The only thing not known was exactly when that would occur.
September 12, 2011, my baby boy was born naturally, and immediately admitted to the NICU unit. I spent the next month, every waking moment, watching over my little boy. He was released after 32 days and we were able to take him home.
My son continues to be my miracle. He is the best baby; rarely cries and always awakens with the biggest smile. It is like he knows his journey and he is taking it well. As he continues to grow, his kidneys continue to fail. They are now operating at 6% and getting worse. Transplant is necessary and must be done immediately. We are now just waiting for approval from the insurance company and then he will be activated on the donor transplant list. From there, it can be a matter of days, months or years.
It has been a rough road, and it is not over by a long shot. My strength comes from my son’s smile and love. He knows the journey he has to take and I am so happy that he has chosen me to help guide him through. One day at a time. Together.
Angela Capra is the proud mother to a ten month-old boy.