Developing a Tough Skin: A Mother's Physical and Emotional Recovery After a D&C

Maybe it will be helpful to remember that your child's comments are coming from their own normal feelings of jelousy of being replaced by the new sibling. Try not to see it as an attack on you, but rather they are asking, "do you still love me". Trying to find some time to sit with the elder one to read a book or snuggle and reasure them that they will "always be your one and only Hannah/Caleb". The book, "Siblings without Rivalry" by Faber and Mazlish, is a wonderful resource to navigate that huge challenge of rivalry. And "How to talk so Kids will Listen", can help you to help them with their mixed up feelings. And bless you as you restle with decisions about your health. It sounds really hard.

Gosh, what a struggle! Honestly, I think that its really tough to have 3 kids in three years - emotionally and physically. Would it help to think about the health problems in terms of how strong you were in the first place to be able to accomplish such a feat?! Many people's bodies wouldn't allow this in the first place, by not conceiving, and others might be 'protected' and also devastated by multiple miscarriages. Instead, you've got 3 amazing children, who as you say will deep down know that you love them despite being rushed off your feet and needing to go back to hospital from time to time. I could personally never do even 2 children in 2 years, let alone 3 in three, so you are super human to me.

Also, one last thing: I personally don't think its totally necessary to hide every and all difficult feelings from your children. They will need to learn about these eventually, and simply explaining that you are 'just tired' and 'its not their fault', and 'it will pass' or similar, can be really powerful emotional learning for them. Accepting that we all can go through periods of feeling overwhelmed and that you more than most would be justified in feeling sad or stressed sometimes can be a good example for them when they will invariably feel the same at some point in their lives.

Good luck, and remember that with love, everything can be overcome, eventually! :)

You are not alone, in fact we have a lot in common. I also have 3 kids, Seth is 3 1/2, Hannah Grace is almost 2, and Caleb is six weeks old. I also struggle with depression. I deal daily with my kids and their rotten behavior. While I can never claim to have been their favorite parent, they did like me and they used to listen to me. Seth totally regressed with potty training and Hannah sometimes totally ignores me. It is frustrating but, each day is new and I beg God every day for a day of peace and obedience from my kids. Good luck to you!

Jennifer, I sincerely hope that all works out well for you because it is very difficult for any woman who has recurring physical problems so I want to be sensitive to your issue.

I want to also say that you are blessed in that you have 2 beautiful children even if you never have another child. Some of us are hurting deeply because we haven't had our first child yet and time is not on our side. Having difficulty conceiving a child is one of THE worst things a woman can experience if having children has always been her dream. Having miscarrages and all kinds of female reproductive issues is extremely depressing so I say to you, count your blessings because there are others who would give almost anything to have what you have.

After the birth of my first child i had two miscarraiges which required D&C's. My second miscarraige i ended up having two D&C's because the doctor didnt get everything out. I was in excrutiating pain and hemmoridging. Its been almost a year and since then I have been going through severe anxiety and depression, along with unknown pain throughout the lower half of my body. This is without a doubt the worsst thing a woman could go through. Let me tell you, you are a very strong woman to have gone through this, and your children love you no matter what.

I've had several DCs, one when I was 19, 23, 25, 32 and 36. I have endometriosis and bled all the time....I know what it is to have to turn your kids over to someone else because you CAN'T do it........

I finally had a uterine ablation.....while I cannot have any more children (and I was fine with my two, I'd already accepted my uterus could not sustain another pregnancy, it has enabled me to be the mom I want to be to my children and the wife I want to be to my husband (and NO MORE PERIODS).

I know it is very very hard, hormonally, physically, and emotionally, but some of these things you are seeing in your kids are normal........nothing to do with your health!

Once you're able to be healthy things will seem much much brighter....

Prayers to you!

I hemorrhaged twice after my daughter was born also. Fortunately I didn't need to have a D&C because my body did what it was supposed to so I'm not sure how you are feeling there and I won't pretend to tell you I do. But I do know the feeling of being alone, with only an infant around, when the hemorrhage starts, and feeling terrified and desperate. Feeling like you are going to die and leave your kids, husband, life behind. When they say your life flashes before your eyes, it's not your past life, ifs your current and future and what you're leaving behind that scares you the most. That's a feeling I never want to experience again. With this D&C you at least will know that you will not have to go through that and that is a blessing in itself. I was told that it was just nature that caused the left over placenta. There was nothing the doctor or I could have done to prevent it from happening. The questions were in my head too at the time wondering if it was a mistake made by someone else. That's an awful feeling too, thinking that it could have been prevented. But from everything I've read and learned since then it wasn't preventable. It just was.

We moms jump through amazing hurtles to bring life into this world. Some of us just have to jump higher then others. But the price, at least to me, was worth it. I know you can handle this... Because you're a mom. That's why.