A Different Mambo
The late afternoon sun is streaming through my kitchen window. The sunbeams dance across the counter and bounce off the bits of chrome on the blender sparkling like diamonds. I am barefoot (always) wearing a red checked apron, left over from my Halloween costume (Betty Crocker). I decide the afternoon needs music and pull up Dean Martin radio on Pandora. I’m humming along, dancing a little bit and smiling.
This is not the life I dreamed of, but I love it more than I imagined.
We dance around our small kitchen. Not even a real kitchen just a half galley, one counter, a small space between a stove and sink separated from the rest of the living space by a counter/breakfast bar. We are practicing some dance steps for our wedding, dancing and laughing to Rosemary Clooney’s Hey Mambo!
We are young, in love! The future is unknown and can be anything we dream of. It’s a blank canvas laid out before us full of excitement and adventure and most of all love.
I dream as we dance laughing at how different I thought my life would be.
This is not the life I dreamed of, but I love it more than I imagined.
In my college dorm room I’m sitting cross legged on the floor with friends. We are laughing and talking, discussing our dreams, or plans our future.
I will be in health care. I’m going to be working at Children’s Memorial. Living in Lincoln Park in a beautiful old brownstone. I will walk everywhere in fabulous shoes. Marriage? Oh yeah, someday. Kids? Not until after 30. I will be independent, have a career, be on my own first. Stay at home, be a wife and mom? Oh no! That’s not me, that’s so 1950s. I am a modern women I will hold a fabulous job and still be a mom.
This was the life I dreamed of, I never imagined not having it.
I grab that same man, now 10 years more mature. Braver, smarter, more amazing than I ever imagined. We dance around the kitchen to the same mambo. Crumbs stick to our bare feet, we side step a teething toy thrown at us, twirl around the tackle of a four year old and side step the baby.
This is not the life I dreamed of, but I love it more than I imagined.
I never imagined I would love being a mom so much that my heart literally hurts form love.
I never imagined that I would grow to enjoy being in the kitchen; Planning cooking and providing for my family.
I never imagined I would stop working.
This is not the life I dreamed of, but I love it more than I imagined.
So we dance, new steps to the same old song and we dream of the future, and where it will take us. I’m sure it’s nothing that I can imagine.
Melissa used to live in heels and dream of traveling the world, now she drives a minivan and dreams of a clean kitchen. She works through the sticky bits of motherhood at Peanut Butter in my Hair and hides form her children on twitter (@PbinmyHair)
