sibling rivalry
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Rivalry
Asked by S.B. from Denver
on September 3, 2009
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I have three kids all a year a part, and a foster daughter. Ages 13, 12, 12, 11 they seem to want to push each other buttons. I have tried time outs, grounding, loss o...
Answers
- I am an only child and have three sons, so it's been a new thing for me to learn about sibling relationships. I highly, highly recommend the book "Siblings Without Riv...
- Work always seems to help. At our house, I announce that it is clean up time and I say "pick a room". Each person picks a room to clean up, dust,vacuum. If there is...
- It's a very normal thing at their ages for kids to be constantly pushing each other's buttons. I would stick with the timeouts when it happens. But maybe tweak it a bi...
Is This Normal Sibling Rivalry or Is It Something Bigger?
Asked by K.M. from Seattle
on June 18, 2008
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I am not sure how to preface this, so I guess I'll just jump in with both feet. My 9 year old son can be the sweetest boy on the planet, but so incredibly rude to his ...
Answers
- Go out and get the book "Siblings without rivalry" today. It is so insightful as to why kids fight, how they view each other, their percieved role in the family, unfai...
- I am a SAHM of six and I grew up with seven siblings so I'm familiar with the norms of sibling rivalry. It sounds like your son definitely has some built up resentment...
- You may need to be in the middle LESS often. It's hard to say without more information. When my kids were this age I would tell them to work it out. They had to work i...
Two Fighting Kids
Asked by A.B. from Tucson
on January 3, 2008
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I am a stay at home mom of three and my younger two, ages six and three, fight from sun up to sun down. I understand that some sibling rivalry is completely normal, I ...
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- I am 41 year old mother of 5 boys, ages 21,20,18,13, and 7. You strike me as a wise, understanding, loving mother. Try taking time out for yourself. Get a sitter an...
- I raised two boys and they fought all the time. Even when they grew up. It is part of the love they have for one another. It is normal. I could play a game with them ...
- Being proactive has been the most helpful for us. (Mine are 7 & 9 and I know just how you're feeling!) Having some structure to the day, getting out of the house to do...
2.5 Year Old Out of Control with New Baby in the House
Asked by A.M. from Milwaukee
on August 14, 2009
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I'm looking for help and support here fellow Mama's. I am the proud mom to a 2.5 year old son and we just had another son who turns 6 weeks old today. I knew to expe...
Answers
- Hi A., Congrats on your new baby! We TOTALLY went through the same thing when our youngest was born. I have a scrapbook page dedicated to how tough it was for ou...
- Hi, I am sorry that you are having such an emotionally mixed time of it with your older and younger sons. I have one child, so I do not know what you are going thro...
- A., We saw some of this when #2 came along. One thing we did was every Saturday morning (during baby's morning nap so as not to interrupt the nursing schedule) I t...
Aggressive 3 Yr. Old
Asked by S.S. from Dallas
on July 20, 2008
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I am trying to help a friend who has a three year old and a just turned one year old:
The three year old has these symptoms:
Aggressive Behavior toward sibling, ot...
Answers
- I actually do recognize most of these issues. My son was just like that, really, it's almost eerie. We did all kinds of tests and everything, however, it wasn't unti...
- recommend nutrition response testing to pull the meatals out. So he can behave normal. I do it here at my clinic in Irving. ###-###-####. Dr. J.
- Those are some very serious issues. He is too young for that but it sounds like he could have ADHD but I am not a doctor but it wouls be wise to have him checked out. ...
Sibling Rivalry with Dog
Asked by K.E. from Denver
on January 2, 2009
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Hey there ladies you all seem to have a wealth of experience and I am at a loss on what to do with my daughter and her jealousy with our dog. I have a five year old li...
Answers
- If your daughter is saying she thinks you love the dog more than her, then she must really be feeling that. It sounds to me like you need to have more specific one-on...
- Hi K., First when you have told her you love all your girls, You should tell her you will always love her more because you are my special and most precious baby g...
- Before we had kids, we got a book it was either "Dog-proofing your child" or "Childproofing your dog". I can't remember after so many years. It sounds like you are doi...
HELP! My Kids Fight like Cats and Dogs Constantly! 7 Yo Boy, 3 Yo Girl
Asked by D.H. from Kansas City
on August 2, 2006
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I need advise. I'm ready to pull my hair out. I have a 7 year old boy with ADHD and an almost 3 year old girl (she will be 3 on Nov 6) who fight constantly! There are ...
Answers
- I would try to make sure who is really the instigator, and whomever is should take responsibility for it. If it's hard to tell who started it, then they both need some...
- Hi D., You have received a lot of responses, so I'll keep mind short - feel free to email me privately and I'd love to help you sort this out and develop a plan for c...
- Hey D.- My initial thought is to spend some time with the three year old to get time outs through to her. I would suggest finding a place near where you are workin...
Seeking Advice. Maybe from Someone Who Has Been or Is Where I Am At?
Asked by L.B. from Chico
on December 4, 2008
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Hi this is my first time using this site. I am at a point of desperation. Our household has been held captive by sibling rivalry. I have two individualy wonderful kids...
Answers
- My kids are 5 years apart and while in many ways I feel it is a great split (rather than having one right after the other), there are certainly challenges. It can be d...
- Take a look at HOW TO TALK SO KIDS WILL LISTEN AND LISTEN SO KIDS WILL TALK and SIBLINGS WITHOUT RIVALRY, both by Adele Faber. Her focus is on listening to the emotio...
- I know you already have a lot of great responses but my $.02 advice is this: set a zero tolerance policy on bullying. Any push, verbal threat or disrespectful behavi...
Behavior
Asked by S.R. from Los Angeles
on July 24, 2009
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Hello fellow Mamas,
I am trying to figure out the best way to help my 2 1/2 yr old son to be somewhat empathetic. I'm not expecting to achieve a high level of this ...
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- 2 1/2 year olds are still developmentally not quite able to understand cause and effect to the level you are talking about. They are at a developmental level of under...
- Unfortunately, empathy is not something children are capable of before they 4-5 years old. One thing to do may be channeling his behavior to appropriate outlets, i.e. ...
- I can see why your older son is scared and refuses to be alone in a room with his brother. No one is protecting him or standing up for him...He has to be an adult at s...
Seeking Advice on How to End Sibling Rivalry
Asked by R.D. from Waterloo
on March 7, 2008
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My daughter is very jealous of her little brother. I have tried pointing out the obvious that she has more freedom than he does, more friends, more play things, etc, ...
Answers
- R., hey sibling rivalry has been around, since cain and abel, we all have it in our house, but bad actions are not to be allowed, do what you can do to stop her being ...
- Remind your daughter that she had you all to herself for 3 years. Her brother has to share you for the rest of his life. Role play with her that she is the mothe...
- I don't know if I have much advice to offer, but I can tell you that you aren't alone. My two girls (ages 8 and 3) fight constantly and it is turning my hair grey. I...
