Bribery: Tween
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What Chores Do You Expect from Your 10 Year Old and What Discipline Do You Use
Asked by G.G. from San Antonio
on May 14, 2008
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My 10 year old daughter is uncooperative when asked to assist around the house. There is a power struggle and attitude when asked to perform even simple tasks. Then e...
Answers
- G., I have felt your pain. :) My husband came up with a really neat idea, and so far has worked wonders. (We've had the plan in action about 4-5 months now) First o...
- My 10 yr old sets and clears the table every night (pending homework status). She is also responsible for cleaning up any messes she makes. Also, she can dust the fu...
- I have a 16, 14 & 11 year old. I have one discipline method that really REALLY works with them. If I asked them to do something in the past, I dealt with the same re...
12 Year Old Behavior Problems
Asked by M.B. from Los Angeles
on August 2, 2009
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I am having problems with my 12 year old step son. Last school year he got 3 Fs, 2 Ds and a C. He always lied about having homework. At home, he wont do his chores....
Answers
- I am sure there are many issues behind the emotion and behavior occurring here. It is important to find more treatment than meds- including educational support (with ...
- Let me say that I can identify with what you are going through. I too am a stepmom in a very similar situation to yours (had to raise the child because mom was unable...
- First of all Sonya H is right, about the food. Second of all if you don't discipline you can expect behavior problems - "talking to" is not discipline, boundaries and...
10 Year Old Defiant Son
Asked by J.F. from Minneapolis
on January 10, 2008
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I am so desperate for any advice from other parents of 10 year old boys. My son is not at all respectful of my discipling him, he doesn't care what I threaten him with...
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- maybe he just wants more attention from you- sounds a lot like my 8 year old son- the other thing a lot of us moms just threaten and we don't follow thru so that's a l...
- Sounds like you are dealing with ODD-Oppossitional Defiant Disorder and possibly ADHD-Attetion Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. I strongly suggest you get your son help...
- I am a 52y/o mom of 8 from ages 16-31, 4 of them adopted from Russia. 5 girls 3 boys. The first thing I see is that you are threatening him. Get parenting with love...
How Can I Get My 14 Year Old to Enjoy School?
Asked by S.B. from San Francisco
on February 13, 2008
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I have a 14 year old son who has dislike school since second grade. It has been a constant struggle to get him up in the morning and to motivate him to take pride in h...
Answers
- Hi S., I am also on the tail end of my masters in psychology as an MFT, and a former educator. Authors Ryan & Deci (2001) wrote a wonderful article about somet...
- For his dad to take an interest would make a difference.
- Hi there! Maybe trying to get him interested in something like sports or some sort of club might be good for him. Is he good at music or doing something with his hand...
I Need Help with My 13 Year Old Daughter!!!
Asked by C.M. from New York
on June 19, 2008
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My 13 year old has been showing me LOTS of attitude! I know its the age, but I find this to be very upsetting. I've taken away her cell, tv and computer...but nothin...
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- I have a 13 year old step daughter and it's natural to think your parents are crazee. The hormones in side effect the mental , but we do have to let them know we are s...
- Oh C., I don't envy the stage you're in now - I worry about it wiht my 5 year old! What about total reverse psychology and inviting her to a spa day with you? Fa...
- As a mom of a 12-year-old, I often repeat this catch phrase to myself in my head: It´s hard to repay the tolerance that we borrow. You are repaying right now, as yo...
Seeking Moms with 12 Year Old Girls Who Think There Grown
Asked by A.A. from Louisville
on March 5, 2008
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Help my child is moody ,rude,just down right disrespectful.
Answers
- In the famous words of Bette Davis.."Fasten your seatlbelts, it's gonna be a bumpy ride." I have 4 children on the other side of 12 and let me tell you that is a moder...
- Hey A., I feel your pain, my stepdaughter was horrible when she was 12! It's something about those puberty years that they just give you all the hell they can. Firs...
- Hi A.. I have worked with girls 7 to 17, who ran away from home or parents were being given a respite from their out of control child. Hopefully, it is not too late fo...
My 14 Year Old Doesn't Seem to Care If He Fails...
Asked by K.F. from Davenport
on November 21, 2008
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My son who just turned 14 and is now in the 7th grade isn't doing what he needs to in order to succeed. He does just enough to get by and that's it. I've had this prob...
Answers
- Hi K.--I don't have any teenagers yet, but I know what works for my little boys and maybe it will work for you too: POSITIVE reinforcement. I really try very hard to ...
- I would check out Dr. Ray Guarendi's website www.drray.com. He has a book called Discipline that Lasts a Lifetime and I believe a separate book dealing with teenagers...
- K., If you haven't done so already, you need to enlist the school for help. Where my children attend middle school, you can have them go to an addtional study hall d...
Seeking Advice for 14 Year Old Unmotivated Boy
Asked by D.H. from Los Angeles
on May 6, 2008
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My 14 year old is seriosly unmotivated. This is his first year of high school and the first time he has brought home D's and F's. One each on every report card. Thi...
Answers
- Is there slippage in other areas besides school? I am wondering if there are some depression issues that are at work here. Especially since you said your daughter and...
- Hi D.: Looks as though you have recieved some good responses. I tend to lean towards the S H, advice. I believe, that alot of your sons problems stem from his relation...
- This is a tough age, and I'm not looking forward to my own kids reaching it! There's a lot you can do, but first have you tried talking to him? I mean, I know how cl...
How Do I Get My 10 Year Old to Be More Responsible?
Asked by M.H. from York
on May 7, 2008
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Hello, I am looking for some advice on 10 year old responsibility. My son is a very good student, very bright and fortunately does not struggle academically. My prob...
Answers
- I have watched the same struggle with my nephew who is 11. He is extremely bright and in another world when it comes to his own responsibilities. He goes to a Montes...
- First you may need to determine if it is a organizational failure on his part or he just doesn't want to do the home work. My son just didn't want to do the homework a...
- Hi M., I have to say that I agree with your husband on this one. Let him "face the music" with his teacher. This is a school issue. Let the teacher handle the cons...
Have a 13 Year Old Daughter That I Want to Motivate to Do Well in School
Asked by J.K. from San Diego
on May 6, 2008
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My daughter is 13 years old and she is not very motivated to do well in school, instead she is more concerned about her image and how popular she is. She is always goi...
Answers
- Well if it's any consolation your daughter is normal. Try speaking her language... do well on your report card=mall make-over, new outfit, MAC make over, highlights fo...
- I know it's hard with teenagers, but you are still her mother. To impress how important school is make her come home and do her homework before she goes over to frien...
- Hi J., I agree with all of the advise you have been given thus far. In addtion, I would suggest an activity at school that she could participate in. My oldest daughter...
