Yelling

What I've done with my daughter, 21 months, is I whisper to her. I'll whisper songs, poems, secrets. She mimicks me and sometimes will whisper back. It's taught her different volumes when speaking.

Maybe try the indoor voice, outdoor voice game. Set time aside for loud voices and time for quiet voices. If my daughter screams and throws fits in anger, I give her momentary time outs in her bed. She'll cry it out in anger but after maybe 2 minutes have passed, I'll get her up and instruct her to use her words.

Other times when she yells, I bend down face to face and ask her to use her words. Tell Mama! Then I suggest words to use like: Do you want up? Do you want a drink? Is it stuck? Do you want Mama to fix it? Usually once I've hit the nail on the head, she'll repeat back the thing she was trying to express. Yelling out of anger or frustration is usually them just getting upset from not being able to express themselves.

Good luck.

As I run a Home daycare I have this issue way more than my poor ears like. The best thing is to teach him by showing him what an Indoor voice is and what an Outdoor voice is. Teaching him where it is appropriate to use his Outdoor voice is good too. At this age he will need reminding on a fairly regular basis but you need to get a jump on it. The longer you let it go the harder it will be to break him of it. Good Luck.
PS. If your child is yelling from anger or frustration...let him know that it is ok to feel what he is feeling but that he needs to go to his room to yell because it is unfair to disturb everyone else. He can come out when he's done yelling.

Hi C.,

I just went through this with my 3 1/2 year old. We endured this for about a year then had him tested. He is way behind in his speech. We tried everything; eventually we settled on "use your inside voice" we would hold his face in our hands and look straight in his eyes. In our softest voice (not a whisper) we would tell him to use his inside voice. If it was during the day we would take him outside to jump and scream. His speech teacher also did the same things and would also "brush" his arms with a newborn washing brush. All of these plus the increased language has virtually curbed the screaming (in 5 months). The key is consistency. Good luck!

You can start explaining to your son that when we are indoors we used our indoor voices and when we are outdoors we use our outdoor voices, which yelling would be an appropriate place to yell.
You can give him examples and show him how everyone uses their voices (soft & loud) for different occasions. Like when it's someone's surprise birthday you would yell "Happy Birthday," but that you don't keep yelling after that.
In lieu of "time outs' you can tell him that you're willing to listen to him when he is ready to speak in the appropriate volume of voice. He will eventually learn that people don't want to hear yelling, especially if he wants something.
Don't give him the impression that doing this has any control, or he will continue on with this, just for kicks.
This are things that children in the "Teriffic Two's" to test your response.

My daughter did this a little. I really did not mind until she would do this in restaurants and grocery stores. What I did was made a game of it. She would yell and then I would whisper. Which made her whisper and then I would tickle her. She loved learning about the different sounds her voice could make.

My daughter is 23 mos as well and has found her shrieking voice as well... I'm a sahm too and there are times when you just need to yell and be loud to get it all out. We usually do this when we're playing or spinning around just to vent. However, she tried the screaming at me when she was mad and I put a stop to it right away. She yelled at me and screamed "no mama!", and I just said, "hey, I don't yell at you so don't yell at me." (regular tone) and walked away. She followed after me crying. I told her it is okay to be upset and thank you for using your words but you do not need to yell. Seemed to work.

Good luck!

P.S. The fun yelling at home is a way to teach them when it's appropriate and not, because they will look to you for a reaction.

My three year old is a loud talker especially when she's excited. When I need her to be quiet I tell her it's "secret time". She thinks it's fun to whisper in my ear!

Hey C., I am a Home Daycare Provider, and one on the things that I start teaching them as I did my own kids, was indoor voices and outdoor voices,I learned if there is a lot of lound talkers ot the TV is loud,or the music is lound kids will have a tendency to be loud, and it is hard to take those children out to eat, shopping or even visiting friends. So nip the loundness in the bud, before it becomes his way of speaking. J.

I think at this age it is best to dmeonstrate proper time and place and not make a big deal because if he figures out you dont like it he will just do it more when he is mad. Try and remember to keep your voice low when disciplining, only raising your voice in fun and play and he will get it. CHildren at this age seem to love to be loud and if they test it like this when they are angry and you yell back or make a deal out of focusing on the yelling instead of the offense then the yelling will onlu continue. My son did this alot at 23 months. but I did my best to ignore it and act like he was just talking or telling him I couldnt understand him and he needed to use his big boy voice and now at 27 months he only shrieks with laughter and yells at play. So good luck.

I have a yeller too... I am going to try the whispering since nothing else has worked... but I just hope she outgrows this. Good luck.

I'm going trough that as well with my 2 year old. she yells all the time, when we are at resturants shes loud! yells whens shes happy and mad it doesnt matter :) I have no clue what to do either sorry for not having a answer :) I just wanted to let you know your not alone :)

I am a WAHM of a 3 year old boy. However, I babysit a 2 year old girl a couple of day a week. The little girl that I babysit went through this. She would give a high pitched yell, then my son would do it too.. It was the worst sound, especially when 2 kids are doing it (in the car was nerve racking). I just kept telling them calmly to use inside voices. The stage passed in about 1 month. Stay calm and stick with it.

You can't reason with a child that young so try giving him the sad face when he yells at you. If he gets upset when you are upset he might respond to your sadness and quit yelling at you. Don't forget that you need to have his full attention for this to work so try taking him aside and telling him that you want to make him happy but when he yells it makes yu feel very bad and then you can't make him happy because you are sad too. Sometimes this works but he may still be a bit young. Worth a try, B.

My son who is 22 months does the same thing, he yells about everything. I think it's just a faze that he's going through and I'm assuming it should stop soon. He isn't talking much at the moment, and I think it's his way of getting his point across. Sorry I don't have much advise, I haven't solved the problem I have yet. I just wanted to let you know that your son isn't the only one doing it.

Both my boys went through this. I used the whisper and inside/outside voices. Which at 4&6 I still sometimes have to do. My little one started yelling about two or so. He was always loud and when I whispered back to him it never seemed to work. We discovered later that he wasn't hearing very well. The doctor compared his hearing to having your head underwater. After they put tubes in his ears, it stopped. He never had ear infection or hardly ever got sick, so his doctor didn't catch it. It wasn't until I was having him tested for other concerns.

So my advice is don't yell back, talk quietly and calmly, ignore the fits, and if it doesn't stop or he seems loud all the time get his hearing checked.

Good luck...I know how difficult communication is at that age.

C.