Y Does Son Get up in Middle of Nite ONLY When He Has No Nap??

Updated on September 17, 2008
M.R. asks from North Olmsted, OH
14 answers

This is kinda weird and I know that I have answered blogs in regards to kids getting up and not sleeping in their own bed.. but this is weird. My son will be 4 in a month. I'm kinda at that stage where I'm figuring out whether to give him a nap still or not. He gets up about 8-8:30ish and blah blah blah routine.. between 2-3,3:30 he has a nap and then the prob is, is that he won't go to bed till about 10:30-11 at nite.. So I figured if I don't give him a nap he goes to bed at 8:30-9 like his sister. I guess it comes down to if mom wants 2 quite hours during the day or at nite..lol! Here's the thing he's gone without a nap about 4-5 x's in this month and EVERYTIME he gets up about 10:30-11 at nite crying.. not making sense.. it's like he doesn't know where he is. He's teeth are chattering and he's talking, but I can't understand what he is saying! I give him a hug and eventually lay him back down, cover him and he's back out within a few minutes. It's really weird and the only thing i can think of is that maybe he's so over tired that his little brain is having probs shutting off for the nite. If any of you ladies have any ideas what may be goin on I would appreciate it. Thanks!

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D.K.

answers from Indianapolis on

Try leaving him up a bit longer when he has no nap and see if he doesn't sleep better or thru the night. He MIGHT get up a bit earlier, but at least you won't be disrupted in the middle of the night.

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B.C.

answers from Indianapolis on

You'd think if they don't get a nap, they'll be extra tired and sleep even longer or better when they do go to bed. But, actually, it's the opposite. It's the whole "sleep begets sleep" concept--the more sleep they get, the better sleepers they are. My oldest child was especially sensitive to this, and he'd get night terrors when he was overly tired. (Sounds like this is what your child is experiencing? They seem to be awake and freaking out in the middle of their sleep cycle, but they don't know that they're awake.) We rolled back his bedtime 1/2 hour to an hour and the night terrors disappeared! Good luck!

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V.S.

answers from Toledo on

My son was the same way, he probably is too tired. We found now that we are on an earlier schedule he gets up at 7am and naps earlier 1-230 or so and to bed by 830/9pm he is much happier and the routine works better than him staying up until 1030 when I am exhausted too! My advice is to wake him up earlier maybe it will work for him too. My son is 2 1/2
Goodluck

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S.R.

answers from Toledo on

I agree that your little one might be experiencing night terrors. I would elimate the day nap and put 'quiet time' or 'rest time' (like they do at school) in it's place.

However, I wanted to add, is he missing any food? When he goes to bed earlier, is he missing a snack or something along those lines b/c he might be hungry, or he could be waking up b/c of a bathroom break. It sounds like he isn't completly awake at the 11pm visit, so his tummy or bladder could be waking him some and causing the half sleep/ half wake state. Hope it gets resolved Good luck!

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J.C.

answers from Cleveland on

Hi M.! I bet he's trying to adjust to not having a nap, so he may be over tired. Maybe put him down, but don't let him sleep for more than an hour. On the other hand, maybe he's having night terrors. We experienced the same thing, and it sounds similar to what you are describing. Do a little research on it and see if the characteristics are what your little man is experiencing. Good luck!

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K.V.

answers from Indianapolis on

All 3 of my children (12,7,5) do the same thing. When they are extremely tired, it seems like they go into overdrive. My mom says that I was the same way when I was a kid, and I have noticed that I am the same way now. I wish I had encouraging advice to end it, but I don't. Just wanted to let you know that I basically do the same thing as you, ease them back into bed! My 12 and 7yr olds seem to have outgrown the getting up in the middle of the night, but the 5yr old still does it like clockwork!

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K.C.

answers from Columbus on

Wow...My son is the exact same age as your little guy and we are experiencing the same thing at our house. With the start of preschool, he has not napped consistantly for a few weeks now. He, too, wakes up in a panic, crying, trying to tell me something. I think it is a night terror. You seem to have hit the nail on the head...he is overtired, and overstimulated. If my son misses a nap, I put him to bed even earlier...7:30 or 8. This has seemed to work for him.
Good Luck!

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L.G.

answers from Lima on

My oldest daughter had done this a couple times a few years ago, and it was almost like she was sleep walking. She is awake, but can't really answer questions and won't remember it the next day.
We just had her go to potty then put her back to bed and she was fine in the morning.

Even a 1 hr. nap will help. If for reasons beyond your control you get to where you can't get your child a nap, then try to put them to bed earlier than usual, but do maybe a co uple books, and a bath to calm them for the night.

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C.

answers from Cleveland on

Hello,
My son will be 4 in October and we go through something very similar. If he doesn't get a nap than he has nightmares at night or wakes up whining/crying a lot - say 4-5 times a night. Sometimes he doesn't seem to know I'm there when I try to comfort him back to sleep. However if he does have a nap sometimes he will take 1-2 hours to go to sleep at night. I'm lucky in that he will stay in his room and make up stories or play with stuffed animals but I know then he is not getting enough sleep. I have noticed this improving lately, so I consider it a stage but this is what has helped me: On the days he doesn't take a nap I try to get him to at least have quiet time. His pre-school does this too so he's pretty willing but I put him in his room with books or little plastic toys or something and ask him to lay in bed or play quiety for about 30 minutes. Sometimes he will fall asleep but if it doesn't then I put him to bed early and that downtime makes a difference. I have also moved his nap up for the days I know he will need it to 1:00 and I open his door after 45 minutes and he's usually up within an hour, that helps with the bedtime thing. I hope these ideas help and take heart it won't last long before he will completely ready to give up that nap without being so tired.

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L.R.

answers from Mansfield on

Hi! I have a 3.5-yr-old who does similar things. He doesn't wake up late in the evening with no nap, but if he has a nap he will be awake in his bed and fight his usual 8pm bed time until 10pm-ish. My solution is to give him a rest time in his room while my younger kids have their nap. He stays on his bed with a big pile of books and a few quiet toys. He needs to be quiet and respect his napping younger siblings. I play an hour long CD of his favorite lullabies. When the music is done, he can come out. It works well for us. He gets much needed down time, and I get a little break. Maybe something like this could work for your family. I hope everything goes well!

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K.L.

answers from Columbus on

Hi M.,

I agree with all the posts that said he is probably over tired. If he is ready to give up a nap...(which I think you can only know for sure if you try to do a quiet time or rest time in it's place to see if sometimes he sleeps) then I would think he definitely needs an early bedtime. As a health professional, I only ever respond to the posts regarding sleep because I feel so strongly that many kids in our culture are too sleep deprived. Hopefully your little one can get close to sleeping 12 hours a night or a total of around 12 hours with day & night sleep. I would try to move the bedtime back by 20 minutes each night until he is in by by 8:00pm at the latest. Hopefully getting the kiddos in bed early will give you some much needed rest too! Good luck :)

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K.H.

answers from Cleveland on

Perhaps his sleep schedule is messed up by some days napping and some not. Him waking at his normal bedtime seems to make sense to me, his body is confused, which is probably why he reacts the way he does. I always sleep worse at night when I've napped b/c it throws off my sleeping habits.
He's probably at the age that you can phase a nap out. If he is getting enough sleep at night (12 hours or so), that's all he needs and will be fine. Try putting him down at 8, he'll be slightly less overtired then, but if you're consistant with it he'll get used to the new bedtime/no nap within a few weeks. He'll adjust to no nap and sleep better at night (this is what happened with my own son when I didn't want to get rid of the nap but his body said it was time, his body worked itself out).
As for quiet time during the day, you could give him quiet play time in his room, give him books/toys and close the door for an hour. I don't do this, but it works great for my sister (her daughter is almost 4). For my quiet I let that be TV time. It's the only time of day the TV is on so I don't feel too guilty about letting her watch Dora for an hour of downtime after lunch while I get a break.
Good luck with your kiddo. Sorry if this advice is scrambled, my daugher is running a My Little Pony up and down my arm, lol.
K.

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P.R.

answers from Indianapolis on

Are you intending to send him to school soon? If so he needs to have his sleep times changed soon. I would get him up a little earlier in the morning. Nap time should be set at one hour and then he gets up whether he has slept or not. Bedtime should be set and adherred to. He should be in his bed by 9 at the latest. He doesn't have to go to sleep but he needs to let his body rest. He is old enough to understand this about his body.
Sounds to me like he is overtired and having nightmares.

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C.D.

answers from Canton on

M.,
What has worked for us is that our 3 y/o would do the same thing so we get her up at 7:15, she's down for a nap by 1 and goes to bed by 8:30. I believe when children are overly tired, they can't relax enough at night to get a restful sleep.
Good luck - hope this works for you.

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