Hi Moms....I need some ideas for my son. He has been dating the same girl for a little over two years now and we just love her to death. She is the only child and is used to getting things that are on the high priced end. He in the past has given her jewelry that she has picked out for xmas and birthdays (spent his whole paycheck on). But he is really trying to not spend that much money this year as he is saving so he can put money down on a car and get his own place. She again has picked out jewelry but he doesn't want to do that again because that is what he always gets her. He would like some ideas that he could get her that still means something but doesn't have to spend the money that he would for high priced jewelry.
Hmmm since he has given jewelry in the past what about a nice jewerly box, there are some places that carry ones that can be engraved with a name and date to personalize it. Although I do agree with some of the otheres he needs to find a way to tell her that he is looking for his own gift for her instead of whatever she has pointed out to him.
I think it's kind of weird that people are suggesting hotel rooms. This is his mother you are suggesting this too!
I agree with a spa day, or tickets to go see jersey boys or a cirque show.
Tickets to an event, they can share the experience and enjoy a common interest with each other. Or a camera to record their times together.
I would think - hope - that the girlfriend would appreciate anything your son gets her if he puts thought/effort into it and tries to make it special.
What if he made her a "coupon book" for special dates through out the year, say one a month that is something they typically wouldn't do.
How about a charm braclet? There are some out there that do not bring back memories of grandma. It falls into the category of jewelry and is still personal, and perhaps more affordable.
I would find out if there is a local park that has Christmas Lights up for the holidays....a lot of times these places have Horse Drawn Carriage Rides.
The are romantic and don't cost an arm and a leg. Have him take a thermos of Hot Chocolate with a blanket and some chocolate covered Strawberries.
The memories of a romantic evening should be enough for her!
Wow- as a mom, I have to say that a GF who picks out her own jewelry gifts and then expects your son to just pony up every holiday sounds like trouble! But... that said, I would suggest that he look at other things she likes- books, dancing lessons, etc. Maybe a trip or something they can do together or a camera.He should not feel like he has to meet her expectations just because she has a jewelry list!
I was brought up that when someone gives you a gift- ANY gift, whether you want it or not- you are polite and thank them and appreciate that they went to the trouble to pick something out for you. Cost should not be the issue- if your son chooses something that really appeals to her likes and personality, the care that went into the choice should count for much more than the price tag. If it doesn't, then I hope he loses this girl! At his age, that probably will be hard to convince him of, but that's certainly my experience!
If she is hurt or wants to know 'where's my jewelry?' I would tell him to explain that he wants to be responsible and part of being an adult is learning when to splurge and when to hold back and save some money. If this girl is interested in a steady man for the long haul, she will understand that- if not, good riddance!
I think his first step has to be to talk to his girlfriend and tell her his thoughts and plans. The worst thing he could do is let her pick out jewelry, thinking he is going to get it for her and then "surprise" her with something else. If she likes to pick out gifts, he should explain to her that the jewelry she picked out is not in his budget and let her know what his budget is. Then ask her if she wants to pick out something else or if she would like him to surprise her.
Also, from the wife of a mama's boy, I would recommend that you stay out of it. Not to sound harsh, but if she thinks he is doing this because his mother recommended it, that could cause problems.
Good Luck,
D.
What about a cd? A special cd, with songs picked out by him. Songs that are special to them as a couple.
While there have been some great suggestions, the carriage ride one screams proposal, your son should avoid ANYTHING that could say that to her! My SIL had a few fake outs that had her very upset before her now husband actually did propose. I always warn my 19 yo son to skip little ring-shaped boxes! :)
I liked the jewelry box to hold her pretties, or tickets to some even they'll enjoy, he could write a poem in a card explaining their future date for those tickets. Music CDs or an i-pod stocked with music she likes doesn't have to cost a fortune but would be thoughtful.
I think you will be able to tell a lot about her based upon her reaction to this, if she's unhappy about not getting her way, it may be time to part ways or she'll bankrupt him over the years to come lol.
D.
ps, isn't it great when you enjoy your son's girlfriend. We were blessed that way, sadly my son ruined it, try not to get too close or everyone's heart breaks when things go wrong. My daughter cried over their breakup, but then she's 10 and cries if we sneeze. lol.
A romantic night away at a hotel? Just the 2 of them, no cell phones or TV. He could make up a nice "certificate" on the computer to wrap up.
Why not do something thoughtful and romantic like plan a night away somewhere or a day trip together somewhere she has never been. He could write up the itinerary and put it in a box for her to open. It could be as simple as a restaurant reservation and tickets to a show or a drive to cozy town for shopping and lunch.
If all else fails the spa for her is always a great option or even a couples massage.
when my husband and I were dating and we were in college, he would give me coats. I got a nice trench coat, a nice wool jacket, and a suede jacket. I wore them all.
How about tickets to an upcoming show or concert and dinner at a nice place? He could also get her a nice jewelry box, maybe with some engraving. There are also Christmas ornaments that can be engraved (or not) and it would be something special she can bring out every year. A his and her day spa would be something they could do together and enjoy pampering. I hope he comes up with something, or else he is going to be locked into jewelry that she will be expecting year after year after year!
It is a Christmas gift and if she gets upset that he did not spend a lot of money on her he will then know this is how their lives will be if they end up marrying.
How about something romantic, live a picture of them together in a silver frame Or some of her favorite perfume. I gave my husband our first year together before we got married a beautiful clock. We still have that clock 26 years later. We had to replace the movement once but it was the idea that was given to him from me. There are some very beautiful clock on the market. How about a music box that plays her favorite love song. A gift certificate to a day at the spa. Including message and facial.
Good Luck,
S.
When I was that age, I remember my boyfriend inviting me over for a meal that he made all by himself. It was very romantic and doesn't have to cost a lot of money. If he doesn't really cook, maybe you can coach him through preparing a few simple but fancy recipes. Oh yeah, the same boyfriend also used to write me the most beautiful poetry. Sounds cheesy but it didn't cost anything and it was really quite touching. As a side note, he needs to break her of the belief that "high priced jewelry" is to be expected. If she pitches a fit about not getting the fancy jewelry, then she doesn't sound like a keeper. Good luck!
what are her interests and hobbies? My daughter's fiance decided to get her scuba lessons with underwater photography because she loves photography. Not suggesting this for you just rather how to connect your son's girlfriend's interests to a unique gift. The ideas are limitless when you know what someone enjoys.
How about a spa day. We got my son's GF a mani-pedi gift cert. last year and it was her favorite. Girls love that kind of stuff, but they never think to get it for themselves.
Hope that helps.
Coming from someone a little younger than I am assuming most other posters are (I think) I really do not like most of the suggestions you have gotten. I do not think most 20 year olds are really into "romantic" gifts. She clearly likes jewelry so that is the direction your son should stick with and that hits EVERY price range. There is no reason why he can't pick out some jewelry that fits his budget. He may want to give a hint earlier that he is trying to keep a smaller budget so she has some time to mentally prepare for that. I'm sure she will understand that.
Why would your son want to go with a different idea than what she has such a desire for? She wants jewelry each year and has already said that she wants that again. He should follow her lead.
What is so wrong with a girl knowing she likes jewelry? Some people just love receiving jewelry but don't like to buy it for themselves.
We have the same problem - but they have been dating for just about 8 months. She is used to higher priced items. I made him take a ring back at their 1 mo. anniversary. Would love to hear everyone else's advice.
MH
I think a pair of seriously beautiful shoes would be great! I don't know if he has been spending hundreds or thousands of dollars on her jewelry, but a pair of Jimmy Choo or other beautiful shoes from a boutique or Nordstrom (not Neiman's) would be under $500 and are "lifetime" shoes.
For something in the under $200 range, he should look at the "collector" pieces that different designers offer for their perfumes. Estee Lauder makes beautiful jeweled perfume bottles. These are found at Nordstrom and Neimans.
I would tell him to check out Things Remembered. He would still be able to get a nice piece of jewelry that isn't really expensive. He could also customize it by picking out different charms or personalizing it.
Good luck.
A cashmere scarf would be nice.. she would have it for years. Otherwise, what about less expensive jewelry? Check out www.stelladot.com/melissamerz The jewelry is well priced and perfect for that age range! Also, today, if you spend $100, you get a free ring, which is a $40 value... would made a really nice gift. You can email me from the site, if you want the promo code for the free ring.
Good luck!
He could try something that would bring back a sweet memory that he has of the two of them together....or maybe a giftcard for a spa to get a massage. I think that at this point if they have been together this long she should understand that he is not made of money, and if she is still picking high priced jewelry knowing that he is trying to get a place of his own and buy a car this is a red flag of things to come.
When I was in college the best gifts boyfriends gave were cassette tapes that had a "mix" of music on them. Now a days, kids can go on line and buy songs for $.99 each. It was great and meaningful. It took time and thought which I never had the patience for.
I also like the idea that someone said about a charm bracelet. He can get her one charm an event and not break the bank.
K.
When I was in my late teens/early twenties, I was given a very nice cashmere scarf by a boyfriend. It was a very safe yet thoughtful and high quality gift. I hope this helps.
