October 13, 2008,
N.H. asks from Racine, WI on October 11, 2008
Writing a Letter to My Daughter for Her Teachers to Read in Class
I LOVE my daughter more than words can describe!! I have absolutely no problem telling her how I feel and how much she means to me. I am having a problem with the fact that she is star of the week at her school next week. I am suppose to write her a letter telling her why she is so special to me. Well, I have a MILLION reason why she is so special to her daddy and I. I just hate the fact that it seems a bit competitive. I Love my daughters school and would not want her in any other school. But in passings with othter parents, and the fact that teachers there send their kids to the same school I have a hard time believing that there is not "gossip" and "talk" that goes on. I want to make sure that my letter to my VERY special daughter is different than the rest of the, "my child is the best out there and no body else can compete with me as a parent", letter. I want to write my letter to MY daughter and not worry that I am a bad parent for not stepping it up a notch and writing it for the adults. Am I making sense to anyone? My husband tells me I worry too much and think too much about little things like this, but it is so important to our children and such a true view on the caddiness that goes on out there. I am not a stupid person, I just want to talk at my daughters level when her teahchers read her note to her in front of the WHOLE class and not at an adult level. Any body else out there deal with anything like this? I feel alone.
2 moms found this helpful
L. answers from Omaha on October 13, 2008
Just write the letter as if it weren't being read by the teacher. More important than her being star for one week in preschool, the letter will mean so much as a keepsake to her in later years when it's being shared with no one but her!
D.K. answers from Milwaukee on October 12, 2008
I totally hear what you are saying and the answer is so much easier than you know.
Of course you love your daughter more than anything and you want to express it in a way that is admirable and not competitive or embarrassing.
Just write the letter from the heart. Instead of saying that your child is THE SMARTEST and the BRIGHTEST in the world (which comes across competitive) you might want to comment about the things that you know are truly unique about her.
You love the way she twirls her hair when she is concentrating. You love how she is always aware of the smaller kids around and includes them in the fun. You're proud of how she strives to read 10 books a week and promptly returns all the books to the library ON TIME. You enjoy when she bakes and think that her chocolate cupcakes are the yummiest.
Reveal your daughter's personality and compliment her on her strong points.
This way you are talking from your heart right to hers. No other persons comments will matter when you focus on what makes your daughter totally unique.
D. in milwaukee
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C.D. answers from Minneapolis on October 13, 2008
As a former teacher, I think you are reading way too in to the way the teachers view you and your child. If you truly believe that the teachers there are catty and are bad-talking the children/families, then that is an issue you should take up with the director or take your child out of that school. You should feel absolutely secure and confident that these are the people taking care of your child. This is about you and how the letter will make your child feel. She is only 4 years old, for goodness sakes, worry about how she will hear the letter. Teachers have much better things to worry/talk/gossip about than what a parent said in a heartfelt letter to their child on their child's star of the week day! Sometimes us women do make molehills into mountains. Relax and enjoy this little/big moment for your child!
1 mom found this helpful
C.S. answers from Madison on October 13, 2008
It sounds like you have a lot you want to tell her already about how special she is, so I would just write from your heart. Don't worry about anyone else who will hear it or what they will think or whatever other concerns you have: write it to your daughter.
N.S. answers from Minneapolis on October 13, 2008
I wonder sometimes... I agree with others this is a weird assignment. I'm not sure what the point is. I think it can cause more harm than good if there are any kids in foster care, or having problems at home. What if this teacher has a student with a parent who refuses to participate...will that kid get passed over and left to deal with the resulting embarrassment? Is this some odd fishing expedition on her part to find out about her students parents and their relationship with their kids, or does this dovetail with a book or assignment from class?
Anyhoo...I wouldn't sweat the assignment...keep it short, sweet and simple. Whatever you say...whether it's three words or a-thousand will make your child's heart soar.
With that said, I also wouldn't hesitate to ask the teacher what the goal of thiw assignment is supposed to be. You might even want to point out how an assignment like this might alienate certain students by putting them on the spot... and perhaps a more constructive assignment would be to have the children draw a picture of and report about a person in their lives they admire, whether that be a parent or someone important in their lives. As for confronting the teacher about her intentions, you might be surprised by her answer for assigning homework to the parents instead of the kids.
H.A. answers from Waterloo on October 13, 2008
I agree with Diane: stick to things that are unique to YOUR daughter. Mention little quirks and habits that she has/does that you find completely endearing. Maybe mention special family members- ie. "I love how you play so well with your cousins Blank and Blank. I love watching you play Candyland with Grandma Blank."
Let everything come from your heart and you'll forget about the "gossip and talk" and you'll focus on making your little girl feel special.
T.R. answers from Madison on October 13, 2008
It sounds to me like you know exactly what you want, maybe just not how to get there. I think if you pay attention to the verbage & tone of your letter it won't be the competitive letter you are worried about. I also think it might help to focus on the personality of your daughter as well as how you feel when you are together.
I also give you total kudos for wanting to be 'real'. I think our kids get to much of the 'everybody is a winner' attitude, our children are all very different & we need to recognize their different strengths & weaknessess.
oh, yeah, and you make complete sence. My husband would respond the same way to me, in fact he has many times, this is what we do as moms. We want the world to be a better place because our child/ren are out in it. I often tell my husband 'I am the worrier, so you don't have to be.'
J.P. answers from St. Cloud on October 13, 2008
Don't write for an 'audience'. Write things you want your DAUGHTER to hear even if they are things you have told her before. She may take them to heart in a different way because of the venue in which they are being said.
I would personally focus on the ways God has made her special - on character traits and qualities that you see the beginnings of and want to encourage rather than on accomplishments that are already obvious to every who knows her. Don't be afraid to visualize achievement, point out her God-given potential and suggest qualities that you look foward to seeing her expand upon and develop.
D.R. answers from Sheboygan on October 13, 2008
This assignment is designed to make your child feel special for a week. It is a chance for her to showcase people and things in her life that make her feel special. It is not about you, the teacher, or other parents. Write from your heart and stop worring so much. Being star of the week is something all the kids look forward to. If you really believe your daughter is special, then allow your her this chance to be treated like it from her teacher and her classmates!