40 answers

Would Your Husband Stick up for You?

I am asking this question for a friend. I won't give my opinions because sometimes my thoughts tend to be out of the norm and my friend and I are having a disagreement about it.

My friend and her husband have been married for 12 years. I think he is almost 40 and she is 32--they do have children together. He has an ex-wife whom he fathered 2 children with. The 2 kids are grown now and have left the father out of their lives. It seems almost as if the ex-wife doesn't want to let go. She makes nasty comments and sends text messages to him about my friend (his long time wife) and he doesn't say anything to her about it. Also ex-wife seems to know a lot about their relationship even though he claims he can't stand ex-wife and they don't talk much. If this was your husband would he say anything to the ex or just let it go?

If this was your husband would you expect him to say something to her about her comments?

Thanks in advance for any responses

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

I would not let it go. But on the other hand, the ex may be getting her info from someone other than the husband. If the kids are grown then there is no reason for them to communicate any more. She needs to cut the cord and he needs to change his cell number.

5 moms found this helpful

My Husband would stick up for me.
I WOULD expect my Husband to stick up for me.
My Husband, would also tell me what his Ex was saying.
My Husband, WOULD say something to the Ex... and make her shut her trap.

4 moms found this helpful

Yes, my husband would. In fact, he would have the first time, that it happened. Also, my husband would NEVER tell personal relationship information to someone else (without me knowing), let alone and ex-relationship. In my opinion, a husband should never be OK with his wife being insulted. At least, a good husband wouldn't be OK with it.

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

After 12 years of him being married to another woman and their kids being grown, the ex's behavior just makes her look psychotic, in my opinion.
Telling her to knock it off might be nice and sound chivalrous, but it also just might feed into things in a way that won't help or even make it worse.
I've been divorced 14 years and my ex still hasn't let go. I ignore 99.9% of everything he says and I believe absolutely zero. By phone, by mail.....I just don't feed into it. He wants a reaction from me, but I have moved on.
Maybe that's how your friend's husband is trying to deal with it.

After 12 years....wouldn't this woman love to know she causes problems?
I wouldn't give her the satisfaction, but that's just me.

7 moms found this helpful

I would expect him to put a block on his phone so he no longer receives texts from her. And then I would just ignore it. No use letting someone else make your day bad,
~C.

5 moms found this helpful

I will be honest.. My sister did this to her ex husband and he told her to cut it out. That she did not know his new wife and had no right to say anything bad or good about her, because she had not ever met her. .

We, my mom, dad and I also told her that we would not participate in this sort of behavior, because his new wife was good to the kids and had always been very nice to us. We also encouraged sister to just leave them alone..

Sister was not pleased, I think she thought we should support her, but we knew this was not good for her to be harassing them.

5 moms found this helpful

I think my husband would say something

and

I also think this guy may have more communication with his ex than your friend is aware of.

Maybe the ex is one of those yappers that just can't keep her mouth shut and he knows this is the best way to deal with her?

5 moms found this helpful

I would not let it go. But on the other hand, the ex may be getting her info from someone other than the husband. If the kids are grown then there is no reason for them to communicate any more. She needs to cut the cord and he needs to change his cell number.

5 moms found this helpful

My Husband would stick up for me.
I WOULD expect my Husband to stick up for me.
My Husband, would also tell me what his Ex was saying.
My Husband, WOULD say something to the Ex... and make her shut her trap.

4 moms found this helpful

If the children have nothing to do with him why is he still communicating with his ex. The only way I would think they should have any contact with be concerns over their children (and if they are grown now it should be minimal) If I were your friend I would have concern as to why my husband still talks to his ex.

4 moms found this helpful

I'm sorry, the children from a previous marriage haven't left him out of their lives, he's stayed out of theirs. I have no patience with parents who give up kids from former relationships and choose not to try and have a relationship with them. Perhaps the ex wife has a REAL and JUSTIFIED problem with him not wanting anything to do with his own children! I personally would NEVER be with a man who didn't have anything to do with former children. This guy wouldn't be my husband if he had fathered two kids and didn't have anything to do with them. What's his excuse? There are laws guaranteeing a father's rights to visitation and at least partial custody if he cares. Sounds like he doesn't. Maybe your friend should question that above all else.

3 moms found this helpful

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