51 answers

Would You Tell Your 3 and 6 Yr Old Their Aunt Is Gay?

We had a get together Saturday and one of my very best friends of 20+ years asked if I told my kids my sister is gay. I told her I felt they were too young and I'd rather have them understand the "Birds and the Bees" before I explained same sex partnerships. She thinks I should tell them and expose them at early age so they aren't shocked or confused later. I disagreed with this for many reasons. When it is age appropriate, I will absolutely tell them. I am very open minded and support my sisters decision 100%. My son is extremely analytical (turning 7 in Nov) and wants to know everything...how, why, when, etc. and I'm not ready for that! I remember when my sister "came out" it was one of the hardest thing she ever did...I felt so bad for her. Just curious if you were in my shoes, what would you do? Be nice :)

ETA: I want to mention that she hasn't had a girlfriend in a looooong time...before the kids were born. Otherwise, it wouldn't be an issue, the kids would see them together. Her being single is another post :) she's beautiful, but has horrible "gay-dar"! You would think she just came out, but it's been 24 years...gotta love her!

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

I decided to just let things happen naturally, instead of telling them. When/IF she is in a relationship, I can answer the questions as they occur. Her last longterm relationship was so bad that I may never have to think about this again. So, business as usual over here :) Thank you ladies...seriously, the best advice anywhere! There should be a fee for this, LOL!
PS: I wouldn't share any detail about the sex, of course...yikes!

Featured Answers

I've never TOLD my 4 year old her uncle is gay, but she calls his husband "uncle" and sees them hold hands and kiss and stuff. It's never confused her, for her it's normal.

10 moms found this helpful

I guess we are different! My sister has a partner and I introduce her as my sister in law. My kids have two aunts and that's just fine with us!

10 moms found this helpful

You don't have to explain sex to explain love.
We have gay family and friends.
This is simply the person that they love and are in a relationship with. Simple as that.
We answer whatever questions they ask with the honest answer.

5 moms found this helpful

More Answers

I've never TOLD my 4 year old her uncle is gay, but she calls his husband "uncle" and sees them hold hands and kiss and stuff. It's never confused her, for her it's normal.

10 moms found this helpful

I guess we are different! My sister has a partner and I introduce her as my sister in law. My kids have two aunts and that's just fine with us!

10 moms found this helpful

You can talk about gay without talking about sex. My boys are now 5 and 7, but they have understood for a long while now that some kids have a mommy and a daddy, and others might have 2 moms or 2 dads, and that it is all normal and ok. Being gay is not just about sex, so there is no need to bring sex into it, just say your sister loves a woman the way mommy loves daddy, and that it is ok and normal.

10 moms found this helpful

My brother is gay and we've always just been open with the kids about it--they don't think it's anything out of the ordinary. My brother brings his boyfriend to all our family get-togethers and all the grandkids (there are 13 of them--the oldest being only 7) just call them Uncle Dayne and Uncle Caleb and they know they're together and partners. Just talk about it like you would if your sister was straight and had a boyfriend. Being gay isn't only about sexual attraction, it's about who you love and even the youngest of kids can understand that

*added* I would never tell my kids or my nieces and nephews that my other brother is straight, therefore he only has sex this way. You don't need to bring sex into it at all.

9 moms found this helpful

NO - ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Both my SIL's are lesbians. I did not tell my kids until they were around 11 and 13 and they had an understanding of what gay was. I overheard the girls talking and then I said "you know 2 people who are close to you who are gay". One was obvious and it was like they had always known, the other they weren't sure about and guessed several different people first. My kids feelings for their aunts have not changed in any way since they were told.

7 moms found this helpful

I would tell them so it's not a big deal, just as your friend recommended. You're over-thinking this. It's not about the birds and the bees. It's just that some people fall in love with someone who is the same gender instead of the opposite gender. It's not something wrong, it's just not as common as someone falling in love with people of the opposite gender. There is no how, why or when to explain. Your sister loves other women instead of men because that's how [she was born, how God made her, whatever you believe]. My kids have known about our gay friends forever and just take it in stride. In our world, some women have wives or girlfriends and some men have husbands or boyfriends and the kids just roll with it.

7 moms found this helpful

I just told my kids 5 and 3 that some men like men and some women like women and not all women and men are married to the opposite sex like their mom and dad. They said that was "weird", so I said, "well not really" and listed the people they know who are gay: my best friend, some other different close friends they know, our neighbors, and one uncle. Once they realized that people they know are gay, they didn't think it was weird anymore. Like your kids, they don't know the specifics of sex or relationships AT ALL, so I thought it was easier to get it out of the way now, so it's never an adjustment once they start learning all that stuff.

6 moms found this helpful

I would but that's just me. My son has known about all my gay friends since he was little, he grew up around them. Recently he did ask me about what being gay ment while we were at a gay friends wedding and I told him that just like mommy loves daddy, Dane loves Kyle, and that's why they got married. He then asked why I didn't love a girl and I told him that's not how God made me. No time did I discuss sex because he's still to young to understand that but the point is there's always a way to explain anything to children in ways they will understand. But it comes down to what your comfortable with and when your ready.

6 moms found this helpful

1 / 3
Required Fields

Our records show that we already have a Mamapedia or Mamasource account created for you under the email address you entered.

Please enter your Mamapedia or Mamasource password to continue signing in.

Required Fields

, you’re almost done...

Since this is the first time you are logging in to Mamapedia with Facebook Connect, please provide the following information so you can participate in the Mamapedia community.

As a member, you’ll receive optional email newsletters and community updates sent to you from Mamapedia, and your email address will never be shared with third parties.

By clicking "Continue to Mamapedia", I agree to the Mamapedia Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.