26 answers

Would You Take a Sibling to a Birthday Party?

My daughter was excited to get her first classmate birthday invite yesterday. It's a costume party too which she has never been to one. My problem- Its on a Saturday when my husband will be out of town. I have a 3 yr old boy. Should I take him? It's at a park, and I could play with him on the slides and things so he's out of the way... Or just stay home? I don't want to tell my daughter we can't go, but I am unsure about this one. What would you think if it were your party and someone showed up with a sibling?

ETA: I never even thought of dropping her off. Can you do that? It's 1st graders. I think since it is at a park, I will greet everyone and leave my daughter at the shelter, then let my son play. Once I see things are wrapping up, I will walk back over to say goodbye.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

As long as you ask and confirm, it doesn't sound like a problem especially if you plan to stay. I had a nanny show up to my daughter's 4th birthday at a park. She brought my daughter's classmate, and his 3 siblings. Before I could say anything or confirm she was going to stay, she left them all there! I was totally floored. It was now my job to keep an eye on these 4 kids w/ no parental supervision (EVERY other parent stayed, hello the kids were 4 yo) and I had my hands full already. I was not happy.

4 moms found this helpful

I would call and ask the mom, considering it is at a park and not a pay per child event I dont see where it is an issue. I would consider it rude if you just showed up with him but not if I knew in advance.

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Why can't you take your daughter and drop her off? You could just stay in the park area so she could find you if she needs you. I think I'd actually call the parent and ask.

5 moms found this helpful

As long as you ask and confirm, it doesn't sound like a problem especially if you plan to stay. I had a nanny show up to my daughter's 4th birthday at a park. She brought my daughter's classmate, and his 3 siblings. Before I could say anything or confirm she was going to stay, she left them all there! I was totally floored. It was now my job to keep an eye on these 4 kids w/ no parental supervision (EVERY other parent stayed, hello the kids were 4 yo) and I had my hands full already. I was not happy.

4 moms found this helpful

If the kids are old enough to be dropped off, I would not expect the siblings to be welcome. Drop off your daughter and have some fun time with your 3yo.

4 moms found this helpful

I would never bring an uninvited guest to any party. I would let the Mom know when you RSVP that you will be present in the park with your other child while the party is going on and give her your cell number in case your needed and take your daughter to the party and head away with your son and bring a special snack and have a date with your boy. Great time to spend one on one time with him so he feels special and not left out but just that he is living a different life. I have neighbors who always think their kids are joined at the hip so we stopped inviting the one child because we'd always have the 2 kids and the older ones always ended up saying that it wasn't fair. I ended up being a free babysitter as I would get a call about 15 minutes into the playdate that they were going to the store and would be back before the playdate was to end.

4 moms found this helpful

Drop your kid off at the party. Do something fun in those hours with only your son. Then pick your girl up and everybody is happy. You don't need to stay with her for this party and it would be rude for you to bring your son and yourself if you both weren't invited. It will be just fine and it is only for a few hours. Let everybody have fun.

3 moms found this helpful

There is nothing wrong with hanging out in the area and tending to your other child but you should not bring him as a guest.

I know that this is normal for some areas so perhaps there is no harm in asking does the mom mind if he hangs out around the party.

Thing is, and this is apparently only my world, by the time they are in school there is no expectations that the parent will hang around. You drop the child off and pick them up when it is over. I would flip a nut if someone showed up with extra children and expected me to pay for them as well or have goody bags for them depending on the venue.

Just so you don't think me evil, we invite everyone from the class by gender of course so we usually have 20 to 25 kids coming at around $30 a child. That is wayyyy more money than I have if they all brought their sibs.

Granted this is my experience but that is beyond rude.

Four kids and I have never had any extra kids come nor did I ever bring extra kids to a party.

An added reason is it takes away from how special it is for the child invited. Maybe we are a selfish lot but none of my kids would have wanted their sibs as tag alongs.

3 moms found this helpful

Like Mari P said, when you RSVP just let the hostess know your situation and see if they'd mind. My sons last party had plenty of siblings show but each parent respectfully asked my permission first. And being the type of person I am, I made sure each sibling had a goody bag to take home too:)

3 moms found this helpful

If I were you I would not ask the birthday mom if she "minds" if you bring your 3-year old because then you are putting her in a tough situation. Depending on her personality she may say "yes" just to not seem rude, but then a 3-year old has no place at an older girl's party. My daughter has had her parties ruined by younger kids.

I think your original idea of taking him out of the way at the park or running errands with him is fine. If the mom sees you with the younger boy and wants to invite him over for cake then that's nice, but she won't feel obligated.

3 moms found this helpful

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