26 answers

Would You Take a Sibling to a Birthday Party?

My daughter was excited to get her first classmate birthday invite yesterday. It's a costume party too which she has never been to one. My problem- Its on a Saturday when my husband will be out of town. I have a 3 yr old boy. Should I take him? It's at a park, and I could play with him on the slides and things so he's out of the way... Or just stay home? I don't want to tell my daughter we can't go, but I am unsure about this one. What would you think if it were your party and someone showed up with a sibling?

ETA: I never even thought of dropping her off. Can you do that? It's 1st graders. I think since it is at a park, I will greet everyone and leave my daughter at the shelter, then let my son play. Once I see things are wrapping up, I will walk back over to say goodbye.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

As long as you ask and confirm, it doesn't sound like a problem especially if you plan to stay. I had a nanny show up to my daughter's 4th birthday at a park. She brought my daughter's classmate, and his 3 siblings. Before I could say anything or confirm she was going to stay, she left them all there! I was totally floored. It was now my job to keep an eye on these 4 kids w/ no parental supervision (EVERY other parent stayed, hello the kids were 4 yo) and I had my hands full already. I was not happy.

4 moms found this helpful

I would call and ask the mom, considering it is at a park and not a pay per child event I dont see where it is an issue. I would consider it rude if you just showed up with him but not if I knew in advance.

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Why can't you take your daughter and drop her off? You could just stay in the park area so she could find you if she needs you. I think I'd actually call the parent and ask.

5 moms found this helpful

As long as you ask and confirm, it doesn't sound like a problem especially if you plan to stay. I had a nanny show up to my daughter's 4th birthday at a park. She brought my daughter's classmate, and his 3 siblings. Before I could say anything or confirm she was going to stay, she left them all there! I was totally floored. It was now my job to keep an eye on these 4 kids w/ no parental supervision (EVERY other parent stayed, hello the kids were 4 yo) and I had my hands full already. I was not happy.

4 moms found this helpful

If the kids are old enough to be dropped off, I would not expect the siblings to be welcome. Drop off your daughter and have some fun time with your 3yo.

4 moms found this helpful

I would never bring an uninvited guest to any party. I would let the Mom know when you RSVP that you will be present in the park with your other child while the party is going on and give her your cell number in case your needed and take your daughter to the party and head away with your son and bring a special snack and have a date with your boy. Great time to spend one on one time with him so he feels special and not left out but just that he is living a different life. I have neighbors who always think their kids are joined at the hip so we stopped inviting the one child because we'd always have the 2 kids and the older ones always ended up saying that it wasn't fair. I ended up being a free babysitter as I would get a call about 15 minutes into the playdate that they were going to the store and would be back before the playdate was to end.

4 moms found this helpful

Drop your kid off at the party. Do something fun in those hours with only your son. Then pick your girl up and everybody is happy. You don't need to stay with her for this party and it would be rude for you to bring your son and yourself if you both weren't invited. It will be just fine and it is only for a few hours. Let everybody have fun.

3 moms found this helpful

There is nothing wrong with hanging out in the area and tending to your other child but you should not bring him as a guest.

I know that this is normal for some areas so perhaps there is no harm in asking does the mom mind if he hangs out around the party.

Thing is, and this is apparently only my world, by the time they are in school there is no expectations that the parent will hang around. You drop the child off and pick them up when it is over. I would flip a nut if someone showed up with extra children and expected me to pay for them as well or have goody bags for them depending on the venue.

Just so you don't think me evil, we invite everyone from the class by gender of course so we usually have 20 to 25 kids coming at around $30 a child. That is wayyyy more money than I have if they all brought their sibs.

Granted this is my experience but that is beyond rude.

Four kids and I have never had any extra kids come nor did I ever bring extra kids to a party.

An added reason is it takes away from how special it is for the child invited. Maybe we are a selfish lot but none of my kids would have wanted their sibs as tag alongs.

3 moms found this helpful

Like Mari P said, when you RSVP just let the hostess know your situation and see if they'd mind. My sons last party had plenty of siblings show but each parent respectfully asked my permission first. And being the type of person I am, I made sure each sibling had a goody bag to take home too:)

3 moms found this helpful

If I were you I would not ask the birthday mom if she "minds" if you bring your 3-year old because then you are putting her in a tough situation. Depending on her personality she may say "yes" just to not seem rude, but then a 3-year old has no place at an older girl's party. My daughter has had her parties ruined by younger kids.

I think your original idea of taking him out of the way at the park or running errands with him is fine. If the mom sees you with the younger boy and wants to invite him over for cake then that's nice, but she won't feel obligated.

3 moms found this helpful

I would discuss it with the parents. If they are OK with you not hanging around, I'd drop off DD and leave my cell # and find something for me and the little one to do, even if it was in the same park. If they say more the merrier, then make sure you keep an eye on the 3 yr old but go and enjoy. I would try to find a way for her to go, though.

3 moms found this helpful

ASK the Parent/host of the party.
Just ask.

And yes, some parties are drop-off, or the parent may stay.
It depends on the Host.
So ASK the host.

Explain your situation.

The thing is, people plan parties according to a head-count and budget. Then they plan the food and goody bags PER the head-count of the party.
So, if people bring other kids to the party and other adults... then the Host will NOT or may not, have enough food or goody bags... for those extra siblings that tags along, spontaneously. Then the Host may feel 'bad' about those extra kids, being there and they not having enough of everything, for everyone that comes along. And it puts the Host in an awkward, situation.

So the bottom line is: simply ask the Host. Most Hosts, will not mind. Or they will explain if they are on a budget etc.

AND ask, if it is a drop-off party or the parent can stay.
MOST Invitations, will state that.

But let your daughter, attend. This is her FIRST, classmate party, after all.

2 moms found this helpful

I would call and ask the mom, considering it is at a park and not a pay per child event I dont see where it is an issue. I would consider it rude if you just showed up with him but not if I knew in advance.

2 moms found this helpful

I always take my kids to each others parties. I just pay thier way. When I have parties, it's understood that the younger siblings are coming along. I wouldn't expect a mom to leave her baby at home to bring her older child to my party. And sometimes there's such poor turnout to these things that it's actually the more the merrier.

2 moms found this helpful

There is no harm in asking!

1 mom found this helpful

get a babysitter for your little one if you don't want to just drop off your daughter. it is totally inappropriate to just show up at a birthday party with an extra kid. even if your "off on the sidelines" then the parent feels like she has to invite you to bring your other little on over. she may or may not have enough stuff for extra kids.

1 mom found this helpful

See if your daughter can ride with another party-goer.

1 mom found this helpful

do you need to RSVP>?? I would call the mom and ask if it's ok but most kids have siblings and I wouldn't mind in the least-- i would definitely like to know to ensure I have enough goodie bags :)

1 mom found this helpful

My boys are 7 and 1. For my 7 yr olds party last yr it was at a gymnastics center and you had to pay per child attending. I made it clear on the invites that b/c I would have to pay for extra children, no siblings were allowed..minus of course infants.

Now if it were someplace like the park, who cares if you bring your younger one? It doesn't cost any extra, they can play with you off to the side, and it's not like you are expecting a goodie bag or cake so what's it hurt? It's not like the park is reserved and other kids from the general population could show up too!

1 mom found this helpful

I would contact the mom of the child having the party and just ask her. If it is a family you know well and trust you could let her go and you could maybe take your son to run a few errands. You never know, they may be open to letting the littler one's enjoy. I'd definitely ask and see what they say. Have fun, how exciting for your daughter!

1 mom found this helpful

It's a little tricky. It's a public park, and you aren't really burdening the hostess with an admission cost, but there are some other things to consider. If you bring your 3 year old, he's going see the excitement of the party and probably want to join in. Will he be running around trying to play with or near the party kids? Are you going to be constantly having to steer him away from the action? Will he see favors, games, kids in a bouncy house, balloons, and cupcakes, etc, naturally want to have those things too? My younger child sure would! In fact, my younger child (especially at 3) would probably at some point melt down in a loud tantrum about being there, but not really being a guest with all the privileges of her older sister. That is not a situation I would want to get myself into. It's not that I am afraid to tell my child no, I think it may create a big scene I would not want to cause during someone else's birthday party. Plus this is a social event your older child should be able to enjoy independent of her sibling hanging on the sidelines. Even if you don't ask, the hostess will feel kind of obligated to offer food and favors to your younger child.

Nope, I would drop off/pick up, or find out from the hostess who else is going that would be willing to take and bring home your daughter, unless it is a very large park and you can take him to a completely separate place he won't notice the party taking place.

1 mom found this helpful

ask the host
I would not. I would drop her off then pick her up later. Take your son to another part of the park. How is she going to feel if her brother tags along at events that are for her class mates.

Call the mom and ask. We had a few youner siblings at my son's party and it was really no big deal, but I appreciated the heads up so I had enough goodie bags! If someone showed with a sibling without warning, I would be annoyed. With a phone call ahead of time... of course.

Considering it's a classmate party and you probably don't know the parents that well, I'd probably try not to bring the little brother. Do you have someone who could babysit him? Or are you close enough friends with someone else going to the party that you can ask them to keep an eye on your daughter?

Personally, if it were my party, I wouldn't care if people showed up with siblings, especially if it's at a park. But I'm part of a large group of moms, and we've all known our kids from birth. Our oldest ones are young enough that it's kind of been understood that if younger siblings aren't invited, the older ones won't attend. We're starting to trend away from this as the kids get older because the parties are getting more age-specific and they are starting to make more friends at school. In this transition period, though, the ones who are definitely not ok with younger siblings (because they pay for them or whatever) usually say something like, "Unfortunately, this party is limited to the invitee and parent(s)."

I think it should be fine. I would just call and ask just to double check though. At my kids parties, the more the better! I welcome siblings and parents to stay eat and feel welcome.

I would call and ask the mom that's hosting. Explain that your daughter is excited and wants to come but ... the mom will either say okay bring him or offer to pick your daughter up.

M.

I would contact the birthday girls parent(s) and explain your situation. Let them know that you really want your daughter to be able to attend but that you under no circumstance expect your son to have a gift bag and all that fun stuff ready for him. Ie. you are not expecting them to accomodate your son as well to the party. Just say that you were calling to let them now that you will be there but at a distance with your other child as you have no choice but to bring him along
Good Luck

just ask, but since its at a park it's no biggie to me

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