Would You Speak up in This Situation?

Updated on September 07, 2011
S.!. asks from Boulder, CO
17 answers

It looks like I am going back to work in a couple of weeks. Before I accepted the offer i wanted all my ducks in a row and one of them was childcare and after school care for my son. I had 2 options for my son; 1 being the neighbor who babysits or 2 switch my sons bus and have him dropped off where my girls will be (making it easier for me to pick up all the kids in 1 spot). When I originally asked the neighbor she quoted me $25 for the week for an hour care a day. I personally thought it was a bit high and wasn't sure if that was the going rate so I asked my other friend who does childcare what she thought of the price. She told me she only charges $15 for the week for her after school kids. In the end I decided I would much rather pick up the kids in 1 spot vs having them in 2 different locations and told my friend he would be being dropped off with her (something we had discussed and agreed on before). She tells me yesterday then that it will be $25 a week just like my neighbor was going to charge. I was a bit taken back b/c she said the week before it was $15. Now I get it is only $10 and I get that she has to make money too, but I wish she would have discussed with me first that she changed her mind about costs and was going to raise her prices. I feel like she heard the other lady was charging $25 so she might as well too. She was our sitter before when I worked and it has been almost 2 years since my kids were in her care. She raised her prices on this as well. Again, I understand that sitters do not get raises and this would be her time to adjust her rates but I was just baffled as a friend that she didn't come to me first on raising my sons costs with out just giving me a casual "hey by the way" conversation. My husband said I should just be polite and ask her since we are friends why the increase on the quote for after school. But I don't want to sound cheap and being a penny pincher (which I know I am being - otherwise I wouldn't be pissy about this, right!). So what do you think, just suck it up and pay or should I ask her what happened in the week times that she raised it from $15 to $25. Oh ya, she is still chargeing $15 for all the other kids just $25 from us. Also the kids she is charging $15 for are there for 2 1/2 hours vs my son for 45 mins to an hour.

Thanks!

ETA - I am fine paying the $25, yes a littler erked that she changed it on me, but since we are friends my husband suggested I ask her why she changed her quote without talking to me about it. So I know I am lucky to only being $25, that wasn't the point, I am looking for suggestions about speaking to her about her increase with out even talking to me about it. We had agreed on the $15 from the previous week and after I had told her my neighbor was going to charge $25 it was the enxt week that she said she was charging the same as my neighbor.

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A.R.

answers from Milwaukee on

I would just pay the $25 and not make any tention or cause her to talk about this situation with others.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Just double checking that it's not 15p/week/pchild and she's giving you the friend discount since you're having more than 1 kid with her? So $45 for 3 kids for 2-3 hours, but she's making it $25 for 3 kids for 1-2 hours because you're buds? (If I'm right in thinking your girls are with her?)

(If not, HONESTLY, I would want to speak up -aka in my happy little imaginary land where I have more chutzpah than I do in real life- I would absoultely speak up. But in real life it would be 50/50. As in I was caught on a good day I'd ask, and if not I'd let it pass.)

5 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Five dollars a day is cheap and how do you actually know she really is charging the other parents 15, did you take an exit poll? She may have said that as a friend not knowing you would actually take her up on it.

I used to pay 20 a kid for 45 minutes of pretty much scooting my kids out the door. That was the price per day!

The other thing is even if it is only an hour that is five dollars an hour. I pay a regular sitter 10 dollars an hour per kid, or at least I did when I still needed sitters.

I guess I am saying 25 is cheap, 15 is unheard of.

Did you just want us to point out it was cheap? :p :)

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

I see your point and would probably want to ask about the price change but don't really know how you could word it without possibly offending her.

That said, $25 a week for after school care is a ridiculous bargain! You are very lucky to be getting that price. I pay $25 PER DAY, PER CHILD for after school care, so $100 per week for my two younger boys to go to an after school program. Granted it's for up to three hours and they have tons of activities, but for your son, even if it's just an hour a day that's $5 an hour. Surely your childcare is worth that. And as much as the pay discrepancy bugs you, it's not your business how much she charges other people. When I tutor, I charge higher rates to some families than I do others. New families pay the highest rate, while families where I have taught the student or a sibling in the past pay either the rate from a year or two ago or a little higher, but not my full current rate. I basically grandfather them into a discount. My point is, it's not unusual to charge different rates to different families (rather than raise the rates on existing clients).

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T.N.

answers from Albany on

Well, considering my attorney charges $350 an hour or any part of an hour (including a 6 minute phone call), and she is not even in charge of keeping children alive, I'd say $15, $25, $50 are all a HUGE bargain.

And I'd probably nurture that relationship as well. Without a contract she can change that price any time she pleases. I mean, if you and your child are happy with her, that's priceless peace of mind!

Good luck with your new job!!

:)

5 moms found this helpful

L.B.

answers from New York on

$25.00 per week is a bargain! That is only $5.00 per day. The sitter has to make it worth her time.
Where I live, I paid $90.00 per week for a sitter to get my kids on the bus in the morning.
Before care at my kids school cost $150.00 per week.

The $25.00 per week would not upset me, what would bother me is that she charges different price for different people. Are you sure that the other parent's only pay $15.00 per week. If you are sure, I would ask why some parents are charged different price.

4 moms found this helpful

S.J.

answers from St. Louis on

Ask yourself this question - what do you hope to get out of talking to her about why she changed her rates?

She isn't going to lower them, most likely, right? And if she does, there will probably be some tension on both ends because she felt obligated to lower them. She will also probably feel slighted that she has to explain herself and her reason for her rates.

Did she only know about the other, more expensive rates from the other sitter because you told her about the higher rates? If so, this one is on you.

Pay the rate and leave it alone. Again, talking about why she raised them will get you nowhere other than "well, that is the going rate, right?"

Good luck!

ETA: I like how I am the only one singled out for saying let it go. haha! One of THOSE days.....=)

4 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

No, don't bring it up. You shouldn't have told your friend what the neighbor offered you in the first place. Your friend had every right to raise the cost since you made it clear that you were willing to pay a stranger more than you were going to pay her. She was probably hurt that you didn't offer to pay her the $25 over the $15 that she asked for initially. $5 an hour is a steal. Take it an run, especially since it's a good friend and you're going to have all of your kids in one place with someone you trust. Don't confront her. If you do, I guarantee it will harm your friendship and in this case your friendship is worth more than the confrontation.

3 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

wow!! $25!!! I would be tempted to go back to work for after school care that only charged that!!! If I went back to work - both of my boys would be $178 PER WEEK for after school care - granted it's Tae Kwon Do and they would have classes - but even if they went to someplace like Kindercare - it's $99 PER CHILD PER WEEK....so yeah - I'd be happy with $25! :)

However, in your situation, I too would be upset that she changed it at the last minute and I would tell her that - get it in writing - get a contract in place so that she can't change it on you again...

GOOD LUCK!!!

3 moms found this helpful

H.G.

answers from Dallas on

I feel like its 10 extra dollars and its someone you trust and you know your kids will be taken care of. I personally think its a deal
The whole week for 25.00? Id pay it and get over it!

3 moms found this helpful

A.G.

answers from Dallas on

I completely understand why you are a bit irritated since she didn't tell you ahead of time that she was raising the rate, but wow, that's a great rate! When my kid's needed after school care I had to pay $40 per child, and that was through the school system. Most days they were only there 30 minutes or so, but I still had to pay $40 per week.

Anyway, if it would make you or your husband feel better to discuss it with your friend, simply ask her about the rate change. Otherwise, let it go. I don't think I would mention it. I hope you are able to get back into the groove of working outside of the home again smoothly, and enjoy your new job! :)

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C.A.

answers from Atlanta on

Besides the point that $25.00 a week is a good deal or a steal and whatever else others responded about that wasn't your question. It seems that you both initiated a casual conversation. You conversed to her how much your neighbor was going to charge and you asked her if that was a fair price. She didn't really give you a specific answer she responded back that she only charges $15.00 per kid. Did she specifically tell you that your rate would be the same? It seems that she continues to change prices on you. I think it's time to write up a business agreement not only for your own protection but for hers as well. That way you can sign something saying how much the fee is and if she wants to reevaluate things at the end of the year then so be it but changing the price just because she wants to in my opinion is shady. I think you need to decide what is more important and I think you should at least discuss it with her because otherwise it's just going to irritate you that you are being charged more than the others and that you both had agreed and discussed a different price supposedly. I think there was some miscommunication here on both parts and I would tell her this to start the conversation and just say that you are not complaining but that you are a little confused about the situation. I would take advantage of the opportunity to ask her if she has had any of the parents to sign a contract and if not ask her if you guys could set one up not only for your protection but for hers as well.....if she is watching that many kids she needs to have something in writing. You can either let this go because regardless $25.00 a week is a deal but I can understand where you are coming from and I probably would have been upset about it too but I think I would have said something right then and there. Now you have waited which makes it seem even more awkward to keep bringing up the money....although its your right. Those are your kids and its your choice who you decide to watch them and you shouldn't have to worry about your kids while you are at work but someone shouldn't take advantage of you just because either. I have always said that daycare should be based upon the persons income but others would have different opinions on that I am quite sure.

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T.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

I would ask her why she is charging more. If she is increasing her prices why the $10 increase? If she's your friend you should be able to ask her without her getting upset.

2 moms found this helpful

E.G.

answers from Daytona Beach on

Think about the quaity of care, you know here, she has kids of her own and you like the way she is raising them, your kids are comfey there, and you are okay with her being alone with them. I don't sugest you not talking about it you need to be honest but start out with "I don't want a price change but I was wondering why the price increase?" Maybe she needs new toys for the kids, crayons, paper, snacks ect. Offer to help with those things if that is why there is a price increase, and try not to worry about what others are paying, maybe there is a reason theirs are different than yours. Hard ships or maybe she owes them money. You never know but unless she is open about that issue, I would tread lightly.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

$25 for the week is cheap. That's $5 per hour- we pay our date night sitter more than that!

You are looking at this as an agreement between friends... this is her business. If she isn't raising the cost for the other children, I would question her as to why she is raising your cost. This should all be in writing so that you don't run into an issue again. It's possible that she has to hire someone to help during that hour depending on her "numbers".

I think it's worth a conversation, but not likely worth an argument- if you trust her and your kids like her then $10 a week is nothing!

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P.S.

answers from Houston on

Tell her your deciding factor to go w/plan #2 was that she told you $15 and now she changed it to $25. Ask her if perhaps it was a mistake b/c you'd really like to make it work using her.

Sure, you can be nit picky and pissy but you don't have to let her know it. We all want our friends or babysitters or anyone to say what they mean, right?

gl!

2 moms found this helpful

C.P.

answers from Columbia on

If she is charging a different rate for everyone else, and gouging your because she heard about someone else's rates, that is wrong. Get a copy of her contract. Since you have children already there, you should already have everything in writing for them and readily accessable.

Tell her that you'll pay her the going rate, $15, just like she has in her contract and just like everyone else. Don't let her get over on you.

Tell her that if she decides to go against her contract, you'll contact the Better Business Bureau about her unfair business practices.

1 mom found this helpful
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