43 answers

Would You Let Your Teenager Wear This to School?

So I am kinda stuck here...my 14 year old has been wearing skinny jeans for a while. She also wears regular flare or bootleg jeans. Well, now all (or alot) of the girls her age (she is in 8th grade) are starting to wear those 'yoga' pants. She went and bought herself a pair at Victoria's Secret PINK when she went to the mall with my husband a couple of weeks ago. They are pretty much leggings with a flap that go halfway over the butt with sparkly letters or a design. She says "But all the girls at school wear them." My husband and I DO NOT want her wearing these to school. They are pretty thin and I don't like her tush hanging out! She tried to tell us that she wears the skinny jeans and they are pretty much the same thing. I can kinda see her point. But, the jeans are a thicker material and I feel there are more to the jeans. We told her she could wear them as long as she has a shirt on that covers her butt. But then she gets mad because you are covering up the PINK letters. I don't care, I want her butt covered up! I don't know...are we being too harsh?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thanks for all the great answers - so far. My daughter is a really great student and she really doesn't get into much trouble at all. I think she is doing it more to "fit in". I think we will have to have a talk with her more about being an individual and not having to do what everyone else is doing. Even though I have mentioned this...maybe I need to do a little more of an in depth talk! And beleive me, we talk to her about sex and boys alot. I can only hope that she will do the right thing...thanks again ladies!

Featured Answers

I would not let my daughter wear pants with words on the buttocks area. That's just saying "Hey everyone look at my butt!" No thanks.

You are not being too harsh. You are being a parent enforcing rules.

11 moms found this helpful

I have a boy (TG), but I probably would not allow that to school.

Looks like she's got herself a new pair of lounge pants for the house! lol

4 moms found this helpful

This is yet another reason why I love love love the uniform both my kids had to wear thru high school! I never really had to deal with these issues except for "play" or weekend clothes. That being said, I would not have allowed my daughter at that age to wear anything from the PINK line except maybe a zip-up jacket!

4 moms found this helpful

More Answers

We took a stand a long time ago about "writing" on butts - NO. There is never a good reason to draw attention to your tushy. I also have a 14 yr old daughter but we went through this a few years ago. I explained that people can dress any way they want - but they can not control who looks at them and what they think while they're looking at them.

I explained to my daughter and her fiend that while they may want to dress to impress the other girls about their style, and they may be happy that the popular boys will be looking at their butt, cleavage, etc (pick the body part du jour) they can't control what those boys are thinking or saying, they can't control the old dudes who'll look at her butt, they can't control that people they don't want looking at them to be looking at them.

I also explained that how you dress is sort of like how you bait a hook when you're fishing. When fishing you use differnet bait or lures for different fish. I asked my daughter and her BFF - do they want to bait their hooks for guys who only want to get their hands on their bodies or do they want to attract a guy who is is really going to like them for who they are, not what their body parts look like?

Part of this parenting stuff is setting boundaries that are not popular with our children. We have been up against this alot in the last two years. But one day when pressed, my daughter admitted that deep, deep down, she was "kinda relieved" that we are strict parents and often say "no". Saying no gives your kid an excuse to not do something she's not comfortable with anyway. This way she can blame you. (Of course there will be all those other times when she'll just be mad at you.) As my husband and I will frequently say to eachother as we shrug our shoulders "oh well". My husband is also known to say that we say no now so they can get used to hearing it when they want to do other stuff as the next few years come up. ;o) Another thing I tell me kids is that I'm the one who will one day have to stand before God and answer as to how I raised my children. There will be plenty of other mistakes I'll have to explain - this won't be one of them. ;o)

Good luck mama!

18 moms found this helpful

I would not let my daughter wear pants with words on the buttocks area. That's just saying "Hey everyone look at my butt!" No thanks.

You are not being too harsh. You are being a parent enforcing rules.

11 moms found this helpful

Let's look at this a different way...
Maybe I was just a sneaky little brat in high school, but if it were me, I'd bring them to school and change into them there. What is she wearing for gym class (or does she not have one?)?
I was having sex at 15, and so were all of my friends. You're not preventing a mindset by stopping her from wearing them, nor are you encouraging it.

These are high school kids. Which means that they are *already* looking at her butt, no matter what she's wearing. And if she's already in skinny jeans, there's not much of a difference.
The other way to look at it, is if all the other girls are doing it, she's just going to blend right in, rather than calling attention to *her* behind.

Really, I don't think I'd make an issue of this. It seems pretty trivial. I'd focus on bigger things, like making sure she understands safe sex and talking to her about whether or not she's thinking that way.

6 moms found this helpful

Bottom line is you are the parents and you make the rules. Follow your gut and don't give into the "everybody else is doing it" argument that we all have used in our lives.

6 moms found this helpful

Where do you think the boys will be looking? At her face or the glittery letters on her Hiney? Ask her what kind of attention she wants to attract? That being said, ifnyour husband and yourself do not approve then there should be no arguing!

6 moms found this helpful

I had to actually look up and see what these things look like lol

If her butt is actually visible, then I would say no. I would probably allow her as long as she was covered completely. The pictures I see of them, they look cute, of course I'm in my 20s so I don't know if that makes a difference. I agree with the another poster though that clothes aren't always worth the power struggle. When I was in high school I wore all black which my mom hated, but she let it go because I stayed out of trouble and had good grades, was active in extras, etc. But, if she actually has parts visible, I would say no unless she covers it up.

6 moms found this helpful

Tough question. I wear yoga pants. I'm familiar with the PINK brand (I don't buy that brand, it's aimed at teens). I bet lots of girls her age are wearing them. I really don't care for the "writing on the butt" style over all, at any age.

Clothes are usually an area where I avoid power struggles (I've raised two kids into their 20s) and some of the things they wore to school I didn't agree with, but I let it go and concentrated on grades, activities, and friends.

Are you concerned this is a part of a larger issue? Is your daughter's behavior otherwise appropriate for her age? Is she truly comfortable wearing these, or is she doing it to "fit in"? Are they the right size, or did she buy a smaller size to fit tighter? Would she compromise with yoga pants with no writing?

5 moms found this helpful

Yes......You are being too harsh. I am the mother of 5 grown children and I have learned a lot along the way! Yoga pants are the least of your worries. It could be eyebrow piercing, tattooing and night club clothing! As long as her butt cheeks, or the crack of her rear is not showing, don't pole vault over a mouse turd! Pick your battles.

5 moms found this helpful

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