Would You Let Your Child Walk Home from School?

At 7 years old, we were allowed to ride our bikes to the local playground 3/4 a mile away, and be back by an appointed hour. Walked a 1/2 mile to and from school in 4th grade (along a 12 lane boulevard a.k.a. the boulevard of death in the local press). By 5th grade, I was taking the subway unescorted, with my violin, to orchestra practice, and with my Baritone Horn to band practice. At 14, it was the subway at 6:15 am to school in the Bronx. This is before cell phones, GPS, e-mail or text.

Babies grow up. Congrats that yours is showing signs of independence and self reliance. Give him room to fledge, to stumble, to fall, and to grow.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

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Would I do it, nope, not likely, but should it be done, probably. Many parents (myself specifically) are really paranoid and over protective and it isn't doing our kids any good. I know this, and trust me I'm still over protective, but I'm trying to work on it. If you live in a good area and trust him, then I think it's likely ok. Have him call someone when he gets home, and give him a time to get home by. If it's a 15 minute walk, give him 30, and let him know that the minute you can't trust him back to daycare he goes. As much as it stinks we have to let them grow up and they have to learn responsibility for themselves, we can't hold their hands every minute of every day.

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Does your school happen to have an aferschool program that is not technically considered "day care"?

Plano has the PASAR program which is before and after school. After school, all children grades k-5 (at our particular elementary) go to the gym when class is over. While other children are waiting on carpool, day care, buses, walking, etc... the PASAR children are checked in and given a snack.

After all the carpool, buses, etc clears out.. then the group is divided. About 1/2 go outside for outdoor running, etc... "recess" and the other 1/2 are divided are go to particular teacher's rooms for tutoring, get homework done for the night, etc. About 1/2 way though the PASAR timeframe, they switch and the other group goes outside while the first group does homework, etc. My understanding is that it isn't that expensive. Parents have until 6pm to pick children up and they can be dropped off by 7am for breakfast and before school.

That said.... the apt is less than 1/2 mile, you have a 10 yr old who is ready for some independence and responsibility. I think your decision is not a right or wrong one... it depends on the maturity of your 10 yr old and what he can handle. Is he responsible to go in lock the door, do homework, etc.

Maybe you can let him try this in baby steps so he can show you how responsible he is. Many children this age long for independence and as moms, it is hard to let go, although we have to at some point.

Also, if you allow this, make sure he has a phone so he can check in.

Our daughter never walked to/from school.. she drives now and my rule is STILL text me to let me know you are at school ok. Her drive is about 20 minutes and she'll be a Sr next year. I don't have to remind her to check in.. she has always been good about letting me know she arrived safely.

Best wishes to you!!

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No, I don't think a 10 year old should be walking home alone and staying at home alone each day after school for a few hours because they think they've outgrown after school care. I would look for other options, other after school organizations, community centers, YMCA, sport or activities, or maybe a friend's family or relative would be willing to take him after school some days. What are his buddies doing? Are you willing to piece things together and get very busy with extra activities? Is he? If you have no other options, I'd tell him he doesn't have a choice about after school care right now. I'd be willing to investigate other options more appealing to him, but allowing him 100% freedom in getting home alone and alone for hours each school day watching TV or whatever alone in a apartment wouldn't be one of them.

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There isn't a clear cut yes or no answer. You know your son and the area.

What is the 1/2 mile that the will be walking through like? Good neighborhood, bad neighborhood?

At 10 is he responsible enough to walk with a friend or group of friends?

Is he responsible enough to be at home by himself for a few hours? Some are.. some clearly are not.. some are in the middle are.

Is his dad and you going to sit down with him and go over some ground rules? Like no under any circumstance are you going to answer the door or phone. Absolutely no cooking, even in the microwave? Things like that..

If you feel your son is responsible enough to be able to follow these and he isn't going to be walking alone or in a bad neighborhood, then yes I think he will be ok to do this.

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No - I think the walk is fine, but going to an empty house? Not OK at that age. Yes I left my 10 year old home for short periods of time (grocery store etc.) but to have a child going to an empty house on a predictable basis is just asking for trouble.

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Not alone.
If he were with other responsible kids in a group, with an adult to greet him upon arrival, then I might CONSIDER it. But alone, absolutely not. No.

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The farthest I walked home from grade school was 1.4 miles. I would rather had a ride like some of my friends, but I did fine.

When I was in High School, I walked home about 2.5 miles carrying my books and a band instrument (trombone or Baritone). I walked down one hill, crossed a stream and then walked back up the other side to my home.

My kids walked 0.8 miles each way to school and the road/path was almost flat.

Good luck to you and yours.

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I love Kari's answer.

It depends on the kid and the area. But I walked ~1mile to school starting in 2nd grade. 2nd and 3rd grade I walked with my older brothers (1-3 grades higher). By 4th grade, I walked by myself. I hated it (I didn't want to walk that far), but I did it.

We, as parents, really need to learn to let our children be more independent. When my kiddos get to that age (now 2 and 5yo) I hope I have the wisdom and courage to let them do these types of things on their own.

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We live in a safe area so I would let him walk home, but I would not let him be there alone for very long, maybe an hour.

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I would - provided he is responsible and the route is safe (no highways) and the child is comfortable with it. My SS could have walked home in the afternoons at 10 and I also went home and stayed alone at 10 yrs old for an hour or two. My SD...well, we kept her in aftercare longer because she was not so responsible and we needed to provide her a safe place to go for another year while we worked on her abilities. Find out if the route is one other kids would take and if and where the crossing guards would be.

I feel your pain because SD thought she was beyond aftercare, but ultimately it was not up to her. Her overall behavior showed us we couldn't let her walk home, even if she thought she was big enough. If you truly do not think it's a good idea, talk to his dad and then tell your son, then tell him why not and what he can do to prove to you down the road that he can be trusted. Sometimes if you give them a goal, they will surprise you and meet it. And when he doesn't meet the goal, you can point to the agreement and remind him what he needs to do. That worked really well when my SD complained of a "baby bedtime" but couldn't get up in the AM and get to school without a lot of prompting.

You also need to look up local laws. Would the time alone be within legal limits?

Overprotective doesn't have to mean you're wrong for not letting him fly right now if it doesn't work. Take stock and give him an informed answer. At the end of it all, he's 10. His parents make the rules.

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Depends on the area I suppose. I let my 11 year old walk home from school with a friend but I'm home when she gets here and she always has her phone with her.

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Not in my area.

ALL the 'neighborhood'/ residential streets are 30mph
Sidewalks are iffy at best (aka about half the way would be walking on the street or through people's yards (often fenced anyway).

Cross 2 35mph (people often going 40-50) streets

Close freeway access (2 freeways)

Meaning getting hit is a STRONG possibility, and he'd be easy prey for an abduction/getaway

We're a quarter mile from the school... And he's 10 and in 5th grade.

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My son is also 10, fourth grade. He never looks when crossing the road, I have to tell him, he is sometimes lost in thought and "forgets".
He had his first epileptic seizure last year, came out of the blue, what if something like that happened?
Gosh I would never let my 10 year old alone for a few hours!

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If you trust him and he says he's up for it, I would give it a try. I would be a nervous wreck, but I would let him try. He may decide he really doesn't like being home alone and may opt for the afterschool program.

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Honestly, no, I wouldn't, even though I would LOVE to be able to. I hate being overprotective, but my sister was nearly abducted when she was 15 years old--she was 2 blocks away from our house, waiting for a bus to take her back to school for her basketball game. TWO men tried to abduct her, but thank God the one who was grabbing her slipped on the ice and fell, or I hate to think about what could have happened to her. That experienced changed my whole family, and especially my sister who had always thought she was invincible.

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The staying at home alone for a few hours I could do...the walk home alone, No way!

I would feel he was safe in my locked house with our BIG guard dog and access to a phone in case of an emergency....but the walk home is just not something I would be comfortable with at that age, maybe HS age but not Elementary or Jr. High age.

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I know!! My baby just turned his first double-digit birthday!!! They grow up fast!!!

I believe in "safety in numbers" therefore - no. I would not let a 10 year old walk .5 mile ALONE. If there are other kids from the apartment complex who want to walk with him? great!! otherwise. no.

Yes. I would let them stay home alone for an hour or two. I would also check with my state and county laws before I allowed it as well. So if some nosy neighbor calls CPS about child abandonment or neglect - we were within the letter of the law.

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It depends on the child and the area, but generally speaking, the benefits of a child walking to school far outweigh the risks. As for being at home alone, I would want to make sure that he had someone nearby he could trust in case he needs assistance. There are lots of good child safety courses available to prepare him, or even have him take the babysitting course. Set out very clear rules and consequences for him. If you can, have him buddy up with another kid from the neighbourhood to walk with. My kids walk to and from school, but they have each other and my before and after school boys. I have left them for short periods, but only when my trusted neighbours were at home, and aware that my boys were alone. They have taken safety courses in the past, and will continue to do so. They have also proven to me that they are mature, competent and responsible (they don't get that way by accident, it takes training!).

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I think you have a lot of good answers. I just want to echo the 'know your kid and his strengths/weaknesses/level of responsibility' sentiment.

When I was 6, I walked to school alone, about two blocks, crossing twice at a busy intersection. When I was 8, I walked six -to- eight blocks to and from school alone. I knew the rules... if you didn't come home by a certain time, or didn't stay on the route, there would be a serious punishment. At ten, it was another school, another 6-8 blocks. By eleven, it was walking at least a half mile each way, to and from school. I preferred it to taking the bus, frankly.

I could go on-- all that to say, if you think he's up for it, I like the idea of having him take a babysitting course/basic first aid. Teach him how to put out a fire with baking soda, just in case the toaster goes crazy. Prepare him well. Make a plan that he'll call you each and every day when he gets to Dad's house, and make him agree that he must do his homework and keep his grades up if he wants this freedom.

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No, I personally wouldn't...

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Is there any laws in TX that state the minimum age for allowing a child to be home alone, and for how long? That would be something else to consider, along with the area, how risky (traffic, etc.) the walk would be, and his maturity level. Or look into other after-school programs that might be more geared toward kids his age, or a friend he could go home with after school if the parents are okay with it.

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The walk wouldn't concern me as much as the fact that nobody will be there when he gets home. Therefore, if something happened on the way home, nobody would know for hours. Around here, lots of kids ride their bikes or walk to school, so it's okay for my daughters to walk home. They're in a whole big group of kids, and we have crossing guards at each intersection leading away from the school. But I'm waiting for them in the front yard (and actually, we can see the school from our house), so I know if they aren't home the minute they're supposed to be.

I wonder if your son would be happier in an after-school program where there are more kids his age? Our school has sports, band/orchestra, knitting club, gardening club, zumba, and a few other such activities after school where the kids are occupied until 4:30 or so. There is also a karate studio that has an after-school program where the kids are picked up from school, go do their homework at the karate studio, and then have karate class. Seems like a great idea for a 10 year old boy!

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I did - around 3rd grade - about 3 miles grandmas house..........I didn't stay home alone at that time but 2 years later I did - we lived in the same house for quite some time and knew nearly everyone in our neighborhood quite well.

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The walk I would allow, yes. The staying home alone for "a few hours" I would not do. A few hours is a long time for a child to be alone. My 10 year-old would be bored, lonely, and would probably end up watching TV the whole time. That I would not let happen. I would look for some type of after school program or look for a home daycare that provides after school care. In my ex's neighborhood there is a home daycare that takes kids before and/or after school for a very reasonable fee.

http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchkey-kids-age-limits.htm
The legal ages are by law but you know your child and the area he will left alone in for a couple of hours. I, personally, would not do it. Could you find a person who would be with him at the apartment for that time so he's home but not alone and not at daycare or after school care? Maybe a grandmotherly type of older person would be happy to spend some time with him for that short a time.

I really, really wish I could and I don't judge moms who do... But my own child? No way! Call me helicopter mom...but I would NEVER ever forgive myself if something happened to her...

Maybe and only maybe if he ALWAYS walked with a group of other kids...

I have a son a year older. Last year I started a new job that didn't have flexibility, so I was kind of stuck. I did NOT let him walk home - he would have had to cross a very busy 6 lane divided street, not happening. I did let him go home on the bus and stay by himself for about an hour and a half. My son is very mature and very comfortable being by himself. I would be more concerned with the walking home, knowing how safe the area is and teaching him basic safety rules.

He's in elementary school? No. If you said "half an hour" my response might be different, but he's only ten. My eldest daughter is entering 7th grade at 11 years old (soon to be 12) and we're about 1.5 miles from the school. She wanted to walk to and from school along a buy "back road" highway. So we walked it together at rush hour since that's when she'd have to walk it. She freaked out and she was with me. She has friends at school who do make a walk and they all hate it.

I also won't let her stay home alone because I know that she's simply not mature enough. Her ADHD is ridiculous, even though she's better with medication. I won't allow it until she's 13 and has had either Red Cross or Girl Scout training for babysitting and emergency situations.

My mom was a free range parenting mom, and that's how she handled the situation for us too.

Are there any older/trusted kids, neighbors, friends of family, he could walk with that could hang out with him for a few hours, like babysitting, but don't call it that???

I don't think I would have him do it alone, but if he is a responsible kid and has some responsible friends who's parents are good with the idea, maybe they could stay all together and walk home and hang for a couple hours.

My local YMCA has a big kids after school program, that might be something you would have in your area, too.

My son started at that age and he maybe did it for a few weeks before a friends parent began dropping him off daily and he only walked a few days a semester that the kid didnt go to school. Now my son is 13 and the kids parent still brings him home and they are best of friends. Parents dont know how to help until they see/know of a need and you never know what may grow :)

I live in a "safe" neighborhood. People in my area are pretty affluent and would be considered rich by many standards. My neighbor, who has a 4th and 9th grader was arrested a few months ago for running a prostitution ring in the next county over. I never suspected any thing like this. I would have said he was a good family man.

I still watch my high school daughter walk home from the bus stop which is only 5 houses down from my house. To answer your question, there is no way I would let a 4th grader walk home by himself.