32 answers

Would You Feel Guilty?

My aunt passed away in June from complications that arose after a bone marrow transplant. She was a photographer (She is the one who inspired me to follow my own photography dreams). She had a couple of backdrops, a backdrop stand, and a couple different props that are now sitting in her basement. Her husband will never use them, and her daughter just turned 11 so it would be a long time before her daughter would even consider using them. My grandma and my uncle are in the process of going through all of my aunt's old things and getting rid of them/giving them to family members that want the items.

I don't have any backdrops of my own (I was planning on buying one tonight). I do not have a stand to hold my backdrops up. I just bought a couple of props last night, but could always use more.

My uncle has already given me a few different photography books, and he knows that I'm working toward my goal of becoming a photographer. My grandma said that she was going to ask my uncle about these items tonight. I feel kind of guilty about it though. I'm not sure why.

If you were in my position, would you feel guilty asking your uncle if you could have these items?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Just To Ad - These items are not "valuable".

And yes, they have sentimental value to me. She took my son's 6 month photos with this equipment and I would truly feel honored to continue to use it.

Featured Answers

My thought is that she would be honored to have inspired you and to have you use her stuff. Maybe offer to take annual pics of her daughter and that you would love the opportunity to mentor her as her mother did you.

5 moms found this helpful

Oh my , go right ahead...what an honor that you would want them and use them. Please. Call now.

I've had 4 aunts/uncles die this year and they wanted their items to go to family who would truly use them.

Call. Right now. Not guilt over this one please. You are cherishing her life.
GL!

5 moms found this helpful

No, it seems such a waste to let them sit in someone's basement, not being used. Don't feel guilty about it at all!

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

My thought is that she would be honored to have inspired you and to have you use her stuff. Maybe offer to take annual pics of her daughter and that you would love the opportunity to mentor her as her mother did you.

5 moms found this helpful

Oh my , go right ahead...what an honor that you would want them and use them. Please. Call now.

I've had 4 aunts/uncles die this year and they wanted their items to go to family who would truly use them.

Call. Right now. Not guilt over this one please. You are cherishing her life.
GL!

5 moms found this helpful

I would not feel guilty at all, but if you do and to alleviate it, perhaps you can invite your 11yo cousin over to learn the ropes of photography if she's interested. Maybe use the money you would have spent on a backdrop to get her an inexpensive camera and you can go on photo walks together? If not that, maybe monthly lunches or something to keep a maternal presence in her life.

4 moms found this helpful

I know without a doubt that your aunt WANTS you to have those items.

Please call your uncle and ask if you may have them. Express your wish to honor your aunt's memory in their use...she's the one who inspired you!

4 moms found this helpful

Do not feel guilty. If you will continue to use them, they will be an ongoing legacy. If you had some relationship with her at all, I think you could ask nicely and it wouldn't be a problem. If I were the uncle, I'd rather someone have them that could use them.

ADD: If you have a website (didn't see one on your profile) for your business, you could even have a tribute sentence or two recognizing her as the inspiration for you following your photography dreams.

And perhaps invite your niece to be your apprentice if she has any interest. It's a REAL profession, so her having experience, especially if she is interested, would be HUGE. Teaching her about entrepreneurship, etc., would be one HECK of a legacy to her mom.

4 moms found this helpful

No, it seems such a waste to let them sit in someone's basement, not being used. Don't feel guilty about it at all!

3 moms found this helpful

You should absolutely NOT feel guilty. How wonderful that you can possibly use the same equipment as the woman who inspired you. Your aunt would be happy they're being put to good use. Are they valuable? Could your uncle sell them and make a bit of money? If that's the case, you might offer to buy them from him. But if the equipment is just "junk" that will take up space in a garage or attic, I can't imagine why he wouldn't want you to have them.

3 moms found this helpful

It can't hurt to ask. I would ask if he minded, then would make sure to tell him that you'll take good care of the things in case their daughter would like them when she's older.

3 moms found this helpful

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