Would You Dye Your Daughter's Hair?

Just my opinion, but at that age, I would say "no." Hair dyes are full of chemicals! At that age, you don't know what effect that could have on her body.

Hi B.,
Maybe try it at Halloween or some other dress up time. Otherwise you may be setting the stage for something more dramatic down the road....
Good luck.
C.

B....I would ask a hairdresser. There is something about a child's hair vs. an adults. The layers of hair shaft or something. It might ruin her hair. I would probably wait until she's older. Blond is beautiful......

You have a lot of great opinions so far! I would just go with highlights for now, that way you can see what it will really look like. Plus, once you start dying, you really can't stop! You will constantly be covering up roots, until you change it back to her original color, which is VERY hard to do. Also, a totally random thought, but you might need to be careful with her school. The school where my daughter goes has a very strict policy about dying hair. They will make you change it back/wash it out.

Seven is way to young in my opinion. She is in second grade, right? As others have mentioned, her hair color might be ruined by treatments at this young age and the semi-permanent color won't just "wash out" and leave her hair back to normal. Plus, surely other adults will notice when your daughter's hair goes from blonde to black. Then you will be "labeled" as the mom who let her 7 year-old dye her hair black.

Hi B.,

Why would you consider dying your 7 yr old daughter's hair? She wants black now, next week red, blue, when do you say no? Now is the time to say no!

Your other daughters may want to do it to, would you let you 5 year old choose her color, after all there is only 2-3 years difference!

Most likely someone else, or someone in their family has done something to their hair. How else would she even know she could change her hair color?

Let her know how pretty her hair color is for her & that there will be opportunities when she is older to change her color.

If you do allow it, make sure you read carefully, the dyes may not even be appropriate for young kids!

I'm glad to hear that you're on the stricter side of parenting, I'd not believed it due to your considering the dye.

I wish the best to you & your family,

K.

Wait a few weeks and see if she's still interested. If it's something that she still wants to do after school is over, then maybe consider it more seriously. Personally, I think seven is WAY too young to start coloring hair. I know it's just hair, but she's only 7. Plus, if she's blond, black is the hardest to get out. A semi-permanent will eventually wash out, but it may never come all the way out. Since she's so young, I bet if you don't mention it again, she'll completely forget about it.

I can't think of a good reason to dye a 7 year old's hair. You say it isn't to look pretty, so why does she want this? There is no good reason, at this age. I just think it would be going down the wrong path to play into self-image issues at this tender age. I'd find out why she thinks black is better than what she naturally has.

I'm commenting more on the dying, rather than the age. I had to dye my hair (naturally a med. to dark blonde) to black for a performance group I was in. It took 2 dye jobs to get it to black and even then it had this weird grayish/purple sheen to it. If you do decide to allow her, I would get it professionally done since it is such an extreme change. But even the fade out kind looks very odd after a few weeks.

My daughter has been talking about dyeing her hair for a while now. I have held back because they really have not proven one way or the other whether or not the chemicals are damaging or can cause other issues with the skin. On the other hand, I dye my hair. So, I asked the lady at the beauty store and she showed me products I didn't know existed. I planned to go with a temporary (they usually last 4-6 weeks) color, so I looked at those first. Then she showed me some wash-out colors that are more for highlighting which have applicators that remind me of mascara tubes. They pretty much wash out the first shampoo. I got her one of those for now. Eventually, I will do the whole-head thing, but probably not for a while. If you go to the beauty store, they can show you products made for what you are wanting to do. I hope this helps since I too am a stricter parent, but don't see the harm in letting our girls have some fun with their hair. (I forgot to say that she has been talking about dyeing her hair for several years and is 11 now. She wants it to be pink or purple, which the wash-outs come in.) Given some of the other stories, maybe you would do better to get your daughter some highlights first and then consider whether or not you want to take it farther after that.

I think a lot like you...it's just hair. We all have some part of us we don't like (and I remember having these parts even young), and with today's technology, we can change a lot of them! Does this make her vain because she wants to change her hair color? No way! And she wants to be like mommy, how sweet!

Personally I wouldn't do black though...such a harsh color! If my daughter asked me, I would first check with a professional hairdresser and probably her pediatrician too. Then I would probably just do a darker brown (there are many that look black but in fact are brown). But that's just me!

Blond hair is hard to dye sometimes, I would suggest you go to a professional and ask for a temporary dye to be done.

If you want to find a way out of letting her do it, who in your family is dark blond? Tell her that even if she doesn't match you she matches them and that that person is/was a very special person and seeing her pretty hair reminds you of them.

I'm going to make a guess here, but do you dye your hair? She might want to mimic you because in her eyes and mind you're the perfection of what a woman should be. She is only 7, so I would try to avoid actually coloring her hair. You can even try looking online at Halloween stores and buy her a black wig to try.

Hi B.,
FYI...my sister was about 14 when she dyed her blonde hair black, and it never did come back in the same. I don't think you want that for your 7 year old...she just seems WAY too young to me. I just think that is allowing them to grow up way too soon...she has all the time in the world when she is older to dye her hair...why rush it and do it now, when you are the one who will have to remember to keep up with it (when her roots come in, etc.) I also have a blonde 7 year old (my oldest), and I would never want to chance 'ruining' her beautiful hair with those chemicals, either. Good luck on your decision...you are right, it is 'only hair,' but just seems like one more thing for you to have to mess with...and I don't know about you, but I sure feel busy enough as it is! lol!!
From a Mother of 5!! :)

I would not and did not let either of my daughters dye their hair at such a young age. Even using semi permanent will damage her hair. If she wants different hair then let her cut it, get a different "hair style." I tend to be a bit more leneant (sp) with my children (now 17 and 16) and my hubby is the strick one. We did not let either of them start dying there hair until 12 or 13. I too think its only hair, but thats way too young to start putting any kind of chemicals in it. If you go to a particular salon ask your stylist her opinion. I know we have gone to the same salon/stylist for about 13 yrs (stylist is my age 33) and would never have thought that was a good idea.

Good Luck with your decision!

J.

I wouldn't do it...simply because 7-year-old hair is so naturally beautiful and healthy. It seems wrong to process it. I would hate for you to regret it.

I wouldn't do it. She is just too young to be doing these things. Plus blond to black is so drastic. Just my opinion...

My husband and I have discussed the "hair" issues many times and always come back to our first agreement... it's just hair. It's not a battle we're willing to fight -- there are much more important things (we're firmly against tattoos because those are permanant). Hair style is one way a child can express themselves. If they end up picking an odd style and get laughed at by other kids, well then, they won't pick that hair style again. :-) It all grows out anyways and doesn't hurt in the long run.

Kids end up making better choices and being responsible if parents give them some 'wiggle room' to make their own decisions on the non-important stuff. They are much more likely to rebel against all rules if the parents are too strict and controlling on trivial stuff.

In response to your question, I would suggest going to a custume shop and getting the spray dye people use for Halloween and letting her do that to see what it looks like. I would definitely not dye a child's hair with chemicals. They are far too harsh to use on a child.

There are a lot of things to take into consideration. One, most people who are blonde and attempt to use a temporary hair coloring to "dye" their hair black end up with green hair. Not exactly what you are hoping for, is it? Black is the highest density of red there is, blonde is at the other end of the spectrum. You need to add red first and then the black to get the color to come out correctly. It will not fade out nicely. It is going to be a lot of work to keep it looking nice and touching up every three weeks or the new growth is going to look bad.
I would get some of the colored hair spray and try it first. Most of it will wash out and Silver Streak or shampoo made for white hair will strip out the rest of it if it doesn't come out, and if her hair is damaged in any form it will absorb the spray but not like it will absorb tints or dyes.
Consider her complexion as well. Most blondes do not have the correct skin tone to carry off black hair sucessfully and both of you could end up extremely disappointed with the outcome.
If she wants to color her hair and you are in agreement then start out with some darker streaks and work into it.
Frankly I think 7 is far to young, many schools will not allow it, but it is ultimately your decision.

Hi, B.! I would have to say no. I completely agree wtih you and the slippery slope theory. Keep her as a little girl as long as you can... you know how fast they grow up and everything changes! Good luck on your decision!

You've gotten a lot of comments but I wanted to reinforce the fact that on her lighter hair black will not just fade out, I was 14 when i dyed mine black and my hair has never been the same color since, now I have to dye it to get the dark blond I used to have, and all the natural highlights have been lost. As for me my DD is 6 and wants her hair pink, i told her when she was 10 she could do whatever she wanted to it, other than go black, and as long as it washed out sooner or later. but truthfully if she could give me a reason for her desire I'd do it tomorrow, you are right it's just hair, and being able to make those changes will help them figure out who they are, and if you are a stricter parent you know you need to pick your battles, or at least I do, some things just aren't worth taking a stand on with 3 kids.

This is too late, but I would have said no. Not at this age...I want them to stay young, innocent, happy with the way they look. Sad that they want to do this now--it means they want to hurry up & grow up =(

Hi B.
I would not dye my daughter's hair at this young age. If you give in to this now, what will it be next year? tongue ring? multiple earrings in her ear? cell phone? belly ring? tatoo? trust me they will want to take it to another level. LOL!!!

Maybe she is asking so that she can be like you, but maybe not? who really knows? maybe she's seeing someone on tv changing their hair back and forth. so many celebrities do it and doesn't Hannah Montana wear a wig when she's the rock star? mmm....LOL!!!

My daughter was 15/16 when she asked to get streaks/highlights in her hair and I thought that was too young. I almost had a fit! But I let her and it was tastefully done, not real loud but dark brown (her hair is black). the next year or so she wanted it black again..
so what happens if your daughter wants it blond again? mmm... something to think about.

I would tell her no, and to encourage her to enjoy her dark blond hair and not to be eagar to change what she was born with. if it was meant for her to have black hair, shoe would have been born with it.

Maybe you can point out family members that has the same hair color that she has, that way she can have someone dear to relate with. Or maybe you can dye yours to match hers. LOL!

You write "But I believe that hair is "just hair"...why not have fun with it?" I started saying this almost 2 years ago about my hair and I've been experimenting with different colors since then. but I am a 40 something grown up lady, not a 7 year old.... there is a difference...LOL

If you want her to have a different color, get her some wigs to play with. she may think she wants to have black hair, but she has no idea what she may look like with it, or if she would even like it black. get her some wigs to play with that way she can have it black, but not permanently.

I wish you well.. LOL! I can't imagine a 7 yr old asking to dye her hair! what's next? LOL driving?

Take Care
Dee

ABSOLUTELY NOT. She can change that when she gets older if she wants, but NOT at this young age. The ONLY exception, might be at Halloween if she wants to go as something that may warrant the change. THEN, and only then, would I do it and I'd make SURE it was a temporary color. Tell her she can make that decision once she gets out on her own. She may learn to like it before then.

I just saw this and my initial response was NO. But after reading your update on what you plan to do.... I think you have it all figured out! Open communication and letting her express her personality in her own little way will lead to probably a less rebellious and more open teenager. I have a 15yr old stepson and a 15yr old niece. My niece doesn't tell her mom anything... which worries me alot! My stepson tell his dad everything. Puts it all in perspective! Hope your daughter will learn two things... that she likes herself just the way she is, and that she can come to you and talk to you about anything that is on her mind.

get a 2-week wash-out color. she's young and will hate it before it grows out!

You sound incredibly open minded yet very protective and stern where your kids are concerned.......and that I applaude. I agree completely with your line of thinking. Had she said "Julie colored hers" or she saw a model with it, etc. But she wants to try something new and I think that's wonderful. And if she doesn't like it you can easily color it back. Kids are very curious and adventurous.......I say go for it!
Good luck!!

I personally would not allow her to dye her hair.She is trying to change what Creator (GOD) made perfect.She would most likely be teased by her peers as well. If you do decide to allow her to try it go to Sally's they sell wash out dye, it comes out in the next washing, it is a bit pricey but so much safer and practical as well.

My godchild is 8 years old and I am just losing my mind over the inappropriateness of her permanent red and blonde streaks, courtesy of Grandma. Besides my overall disapproval, the red streakse being the latest addition, are just vile. I can't even look at her. Her mother, not here now, is a hair dresser so this isn't even the first time. I do believe it leads to the slippery slope. I believe it is completely age inappropriate, as are so very many other things this child is permitted to do. Today, I am sorry I signed up for this. I wanted to make a positive contribution. The adults have other issues that take priority over the appropriate needs, wants and desires of the children. Too sad. Thanks for letting me share!

I couldn't imagine allowing a 7y/o to dye their hair. What do you think they'll ask for next? There's nothing wrong with saying NO........ That's a parent's job. What will the siblings ask for next. She needs to be happy with the way she looks. Too much attention is being given on how we look. God gave her blonde hair it needs to stay blonde.

When my sister was about that age my grandmother thought she would help out my mom and tried to have my sister's naturally curly hair straightened. Well she destroyed her hair and I swear it was never the same. I agree with the woman about not ruining a child's hair. Also the chemicals are not good for a child's ever growing and developing body. Why don't you find some fun wigs and encourage her to have fun that way.

B.,
I would not do it. If she wants to try her hair in black see if you can get the spray on stuff they have at Halloween. Plus A LOT of school's will not allow her to have her hair colored. A girl from my church got highlights and the school said it was to distracting. If that was high school imagine their thoughts on elementary kids.
I'm all for self expression but unfortunately school's are not.Good luck
A.

No, I would not. She could develop allergies etc. from the dye. Her skin is way to sensitive at seven. Just step up to the plate and tell her God gave her that beautiful hair and alot of girls would love to have blonde hair. Maybe she doesn't realize that her hair would grow back out blonde.

I'm with you - it's just hair. When my son was 8 I let his professional stylist dye his hair purple, just for fun. He wanted to do something out of the ordinary, but he'd also brought home a great report card, graduated to a new karate belt and worked really h*** o* a couple of 4-H projects. We waited til summer vacation, and it actually didn't last over long, just washed out over time. He was quite the talk of VBS, though -lol.

And now he knows that if he ever wants to do something to radically change his appearance, we always talk over the pros and cons... and determine if his behavior merits the boon.

Good luck!
S.

Okay i can understand dyeing her hair but I have to tell you my story.
I was 15 years and I wanted to dye my hair black and my mom told me that I would look stupid with black hair if I wanted to dye it I had to do it myself. So I did and let me tell you mistake. I missed big areas on my head, and it turned so black it radiated blue and purple in florencent light. I cried and so did my mom she took me to the hair salon and it took bleach, uncolor and 4hours for them to turn my hair to MUSH!! i ended up having short hair because of all the damage done to my hair. after about 2-3 months my hair turned black again because the color started to come back through. SO my advise is yes it is only hair but, try color that will wash out and is reversable.

My 7 year old wants blond hair. I told her she has to wait until she's bigger (i.e. can do it herself) before she can dye it. I do let her (and her younger brother) use colored hair sprays whenever she wants and, when I dye my hair I give them each a streak or two (usually red).

Hello! Just remember that ANYTHING you put on her head, body, etc will get into her bloodstream. 60% of all product applied will soak through the skin in less than 30 seconds. I've learned a lot of facts like this recently, which is why I'm staying away from certain products that have a lot of cancer-causing agents in them. Read your labels and check out www.cosmeticdatabase.com. You'll be surprised!!!

I just wanted to say good for you! I read what you had decided to do and think you sound like a mom with a great head on her shoulders.

You're right, it's just hair. My mom let me dye mine in Junior High. It was no big deal. However I do see one potential problem here. Black is a rough color to deal with when you dye hair. It may "fade out" but tends to leave behind a permenant stain. My sister did her's black and ended up having to get a kit to strip her hair because it wouldn't come out. It was a mess. She's a natural brunette and had very blonde hair for her wedding because of having to strip her hair. She didn't want the remenants of black in her hair for her wedding. Just something to think about on that note.

I'd have to say no from what you described of the situation. It isn't like she's going to be in the school play or doing something for halloween.

It could be some sort of phase....make sure she's not just following along with a crowd at school.

Yes, it's just hair, and yeah, you need to pick your battles. I'm not sure I'd allow it before she turns 16, and even then with reservations.

Either way, if you let her do it now or wait until she's older, I would highly recommend having her wait until after school is "out for summer". That way, if it doesn't turn out like she expects, she might "dodge the dilemma" at school" with all the kids making comments.

Further, there are some "color washes" (or at least there used to be) that were "temporary" and would wash out after a week or two. There used to be some shampoos that might "add highlights" (Herbal Essences?).

If you are going to allow your daughter to color her hair I would not let her go black. It is the hardest color to get out should she decide she does not like it. I would talk to a stylist for advice on what you could do that wouldn't ruin her hair but would allow her to play a little.

You need to remember she is only 7, and if she is anything like my 7 year old she is going to change her mind about a hundred times. Remember she is only 7 and still a child, do you really want her to grow up quicker then she needs to.

Hi B.,

There is no "right or wrong" answer here. I would not allow my daughter to change the color of her hair at the age of seven but I would consider it at sixteen. At age seven I would focus on building up my daughter so she would appreciate who she is (body, mind and spirit) because I think that the media puts out a message that girls are "not enough." Kids are growing up too soon. Why are we seeing kids entering into what typically was considered "adult activity" 15 years ago? I fear that when we allow our little ones to experience things too early, they will not have anything to look forward to. Self-improvement is a wonderful thing, but I would say that at this age "character counts" more than hair color.

NO, NO, NO! yes, it's only hair, but it still apart of her being. This is how we lose our kids youthness, because we let them change and alter themselves for non-emergency reasons. Don't get me wrong, I'm not directing this towards you, but something as small as changing her hair color could lead to asking for Breast implants at 16, LOL. I would suggest letting her to conntinue to be a child and explain to her she is too young to be thinking about dying her hair. Also, going from blonde to black at that age is a bit to much and she may not like it, or it may not turn out right and then she may have to deal with her peers teasing her. No, No, No.

38 yr old wife and mother of 4 (4-boy, 6-girl, 8-girl, 10-boy)

I have two girls who are teenagers now. But, my rule was always this: while I had to do their hair, I got to say how it was styled (how long/short, color, etc.). Once they learned to care for it themselves, they could decide what to do with it. We had more issues with how long or short to keep it rather than color. I did do highlights for one of my girls and she learned real quick that it grows out!! LOL She didn't want to have to sit through getting it done all the time!

Also, it helped because one of my daughters hated fixing her hair. The other one would get up and immediately put her hair up or brush it or whatever. Once they were taking care of it themselves, they seemed to know better what they wanted, too, and I didn't have to worry about it being a faddish thing.

This is just my experience, though. Sounds like she wants to be like Mom!!! :)

I would not do it, it's harmful to your child, especially at such a young age. Speak to a professional hairdresser first, about doing it, they would have the most experience with potential problems, health and otherwise. Because her hair is lighter, remind her that her hair will darken overtime and yes I think that it will be a large slippery slope. There will most likely be bad responses from other parents. I would say that the youngest that it should happen would be teens.

I recently learned something interesting from my hairdresser. She said a child's hair doesn't reach "maturity" until around age 11. Once a child reaches 11, you can bet that's how her hair will be for the rest of her life. Until then, she recommended not doing anything more than cutting and styling because other things (coloring, perms, etc.) could damage the hair.

On a different note, we were talking about potentially coloring my hair to cover the gray (yikes!). She suggested starting with a semi-permanant color that will wash out in a few weeks. This would allow me to see if I like it and want to do the up-keep. She also explained that permanant color acutally lifts color from your hair and then dyes it. If you decide to go back to natural, the hair will probably be about 2 shades lighter than where you started. So, that's something to keep in mind when thinking this decision through.

Good luck!

I'd tell her no if only for the fact that she is 7 years old. It truly is a slippery slope; what would be next make up? I'd just tell her that she is only 7 and she can dye her hair at(pick an age)I also agree with the other posters it would be distracting at school and she may not like the attention.

i got a perm when i was seven... it was rediculous, i didn't take care of it properly and had a big afro for a while... but i loved it, and it meant a lot to me. i wanted to do it because my best friend did.

I think if it doesn't bother you and her school would allow it, why not! The only thing I would worry about is when dyeing hair darker (esp when using black) it's almost impossible to get back to the original color if she doesn't like it. You would have to strip it out and it may turn an orangy color that will have to grow out. Even if she wants black, I would use a dark brown. It will look black, but not be as hard to reverse. You may want to try some low lights first! Good luck and embrace that she's unique!

I think you definitely have the right attitude...it is only hair, but she is at that age where she may decide today that she wants it, but in a week is mortified. I would put her off for a few years. Try a temporary dye, not sure which ones are good, but you could always ask your hairdresser if you trust her or your ped. One thing to remember, when you start dying your hair, you either have to continue forever, dye it back (hard to match color) or deal with a really bad period of letting it grow out.

I have an 8 year old who wants to highlight her hair. I've told her no. I may think about it again when she is 12 or 13. They are too young at 7. I saw a little girl at a birthday party who may have been 6 and had her hair bleached. The one inch roots showing looked horrible. Her hair also looked dry and damaged. She has a whole lifetime to process and damage her hair on her own. She may dye her hair and not like it. Then what? She may change her mind, and probably will, shortly down the road. Once you start dying your hair you pretty much are stuck with it or it will look horrible growing the color back out. I would suggest playing dress up and using the wash out spray dyes or glitter. I'm sure she would have fun with that.