Would This Upset You?! - Richmond,VA

I would feel the same as you would. It was very careless on his part. He shouldve told you as soon as it was lost. But, would you have felt any different then, than you do know? Also, yes these are pics that you can never get back. If they were important to you, why didn't you download the pics right away and why didn't you realize that it was missing sooner. You have to think about that too. Be thankful that you haven't saw those pics floating around. I'm not saying that you shouldn't be upset, but try not to dwell on it too long.

I would be more upset with myself for not having transferred the photos out of the camera before something happened to the camera. You could have still had the camera and had it, I don't know, fall in the bathtub or stolen before having the pictures transferred. That's not his fault.

I would be upset about him having lost the camera and not having said anything as a separate issue, but chances are that since you have a second camera he didn't think it was a big deal. I'm guessing he didn't know what was on the lost camera? Or he wouldn't have been careless with it.

Also, not for nothing, but the only people who tend to think that the pregnant body is beautiful are people like us and our spouses. And our spouses only think that OUR specific pregnant bodies are beautiful, not other pregnant bodies, unless they happen to be an OB/GYN. :-) Kids finding the camera or anyone else were probably mortified and deleted the photos so I doubt that they're floating around.

So no, you're not really over-reacting but I think you're misplacing the blame about the photos.

EDITED TO ADD: It also sounds as if he thought he told you already. You've got people telling you to remain livid with him over not having told you and ooh, now there are trust issues and what else is he lying about or not telling you about... but what if he really did think he already told you?

It's not as if he can get the camera back, so are you expecting him to get as upset as you are? Do you want him groveling in constant abject apology? Do you expect him to have to pay for this for the rest of your relationship? Is this worth ruining your relationship over? I'm not sure what you wanted his reaction to be. Be upset, you're totally entitled to that and you need to work it out because you only just found out and are disappointed. I would be too. Just... when you calm down look at it objectively too.

I would be more mad at myself for not transferring the pictures to the computer.

I am truly sorry that you lost those photos and yes, I would be pissed at his apparently callous attitude!
Still, such precious, not to mention nude, photos sitting around on a camera for over a year? Chalk this one up to experience. All of our wonderful little electronic gadgets are so easily lost, broken, etc. I am constantly backing up files, photos, documents, music for that very reason. Even back in the pre-digital days I kept my photo negatives in the same file cabinet as my bank statements and tax returns.
Like I said, chalk it up to experience, and never trust a man to understand and take care of these precious memories like we do!

Obviously it was not that important if you had not looked for the pictures
before this. The pictures are gone now, so I would let it go. Just keep in
mind that the next time you take pictures that are important, print them or
transfer them to your computer right away.

How come you haven't wanted to look at the pictures in over a year? I can see being upset with him, but it is kind of ironic that something that is so important, has taken you a year to notice it is gone.

I do feel bad for you, knowing that your camera has such personal pics of you on it floating around somewhere. Maybe it fell into the water...fingers crossed!

Oh wow, yes I would be super mad. Hopefully it helps to know that the frustration about the prego pics will fade- it is probably all you can think about right now, but it will start to become less and less.

And of course you deserve to be mad, no matter how long it would have taken to get the pics to the computer (given that prego pics mean you had a BABY I'm guessing you were BUSY!!!).

I will say this, you may have to bring some clarity to the anger. You are mad because of the pics that were on there. If it was pictures of a ladybug, you wouldn't be nearly as mad. But your fiance lost the same camera, he didn't lose it because it had prego pics on it, you know what I mean?

Sorry about this, I know the feeling of wishing you could turn back time and obsessing about it now.

I am sorry that this has happened. And yes, I have to say I would be terribly mad at him! And that is was inconsiderate, and irresponsible of him to knowingly leave it at the dam, and not tell you or assume you knew.

On the other hand, I have to say that if they were important pictures, and yes pregnancy pics are, why would you not download them to a computer? Or make sure that the memory card was in a safe place? Especially since you said that there was naked pictures of you on there?

To me, if I had naked pictures of myself that I wanted to keep, I wouldnt keep them on a camera. I would make sure that I put them in a safe place, just in case something like this happened.

Its very unfortunate that it did happen, but its gone now, and there really isnt anything you can do but make peace with it.

So what if you're over reacting. Doesn't matter. He lost the camera and he should be apologizing like crazy. Turning it around on you is immature. So is losing the camera and not telling you until a year later. And there really isn't a good excuse for leaving it at the dam. Did he try to find it back then?

I don't think you're over reacting. You're grieving several loses here. Perhaps it would be over reacting if he'd just lost the camera and told you at the time. But he didn't. You're angry at his lack of respect for something that was important to you and his lack of respect in not telling you at the time and his lack of respect for you by turning it around on you. He is not even respecting you enough to apologize.

I think I would tell him that until he finds the courage to apologize in a meaningful way I would continue to be hurt to the point of not wanting much to do with him. In the meantime, I'd work on finding a way to heal the hurt for yourself. If he doesn't come around in a few days, I would urge you to get into counseling, with him if possible, but if not, by myself to figure out if this lack of respect is a regular part of his relationship with you and what you can do to improve communication and a sense of being respected.

I'd be pissed that there are some pics floating around, and who knows what kind of freako has it (check the pawn shops?), but in all honesty, if it's been a year and YOU haven't figured it out until now....it kind of doesn't make sense to be too angry..maybe you could just call it a lesson learned, and download the pics next time?

If he seldom, if ever, loses things, and is an attentive and loving father, then I would forgive this one mistake. Often, (but not always), dads pay more attention to the actual child, making sure he or she is fed and has a roof over his or her head, rather than preserving the photos, and it's us, the moms, who get sentimental over saving the first booties, the first teeth, and the pictures.

However, if this is another thing he has lost in a long list of things, if he is as unattentive to the child as he was to the camera/photos, then this is a wake up call. Either re-think the whole relationship, or else realize that you will have to be the care-taker of anything precious, and be extremely punctual when it comes to downloading, saving and filing away (and then deleting from potentially public sources).

Yah I would be irked/pissed.
Because:
1)He never told you until NOW.
2) He made no attempt to tell you earlier.
3) He is not remorseful
4) These were such important photos.
5) He is so flippant about it.

He is your Fiance.
So... what ELSE has he lost or not told you about?????
This shows, how he 'handles'.... personal lost items, that are also important to you. AND he is trying to make it, your fault.
Hmmm....
So again... what ELSE... has he done or lost or not told you about???
Because, this was an important matter.
And he is flippant about it.
And trying to turn it around and take the heat off of himself.
Hmmmm.....
So again... how else... does he handle problems and omissions??? And this must not be, the ONLY example, of how he handles, things.
And he is your Fiance.

Hmmm, I would be a bit concerned about the naked photos, but there's not much you can do, so try to channel your anger into something else (like cleaning pillows?). We taped over the birth of our eldest. Damn and blast. Never getting that one back again!

People make mistakes. I do stupid stuff like that all the time and forget about it, but yeah, I would be upset about the nakey photos. Maybe the river swallowed it and no one saw. Sorry you lost your pics. :( My computer has crashed twice, losing like the first year of my sons life, you would think I would have learned the first time. It sucks.

Well... if those pregnancy pictures on the camera were over a year old, I wouldn't put them in the priceless category. If they were truly that important, they would have been saved or printed by now. So, no, I wouldn't be upset... things get lost, time to move on.

oh this is terrible. I am so sorry and i would be so mad at him. the only thing i could say in his defense is that sometimes when i lose things i don't realize it, and then think that it must be around here somewhere and start tearing the place apart and some times it can take a long time to come to terms with having lost it.

Could it be in your house/car/luggage???

just read your update, so no hope, that really stinks. so yeah i'd be mad.

I think the likelihood of your pix still "floating around Richmond" are slim. I'd bet the finder probably deleted everything to make room for his/her own photos.
BUT everyone makes mistakes.
Perhaps a new rule for your house: Every month ALL pics get moved from camera to computer?

nekid of me photo running around who knows where? yep I would be pissed.

I think the combo of lying by omission (not telling you he lost the camera), the lost photos, and the naked photos of me floating around would equal one pissed off mama. I could probably get past the lost photos but not telling you he lost photos of you naked is not cool. He needs to know that keeping stuff from you is not ok no matter how trivial he thinks it is.

Bottom line, there is likely NOTHING you can do about the camera now. What you can do is make this a lesson in your relationship and what you expect out of it. The stress you're under right now is probably making this even more unnerving. Talk to Rob and let him know how you're feeling and what you want to happen in the future. Then take some time to cool down if you need it. There is nothing wrong with needing a little time to process an event. Good luck

Pictures are near and dear to me, so yes I would definitely be upset, but at the same time, because I enjoy taking pics so much, I would be possessive to not even let him hold it in the first place. Unfortunately, I don't have any idea how you would be able to get those pics back. Sorry this has happened to you.

I'm sorry. That is just crappy. I would be dragging this one up for years whenever he got on my nerves!! :-) I have a similar story - my friends husband got his younger brother to take a look at there computer as they were having problems. When she got home the computer was working great BUT the brother had wiped everything off it included pics of her mother who had died a few months before from breast cancer. To say she was devastated was putting it mildly, she couldn't actually speak to anyone for days and her hubby was in tears and he blamed himself. It was like she lost her all over again. I guess some people don't get as emotionally attached to things as others do. Sorry again.

if i had found the camera, or most anyone for that matter (especially of pregnant woman) probably deleted the photos so they wouldn't be floating around. i don't think that i would be that angry if he lost an old camera with pregnancy pics on it, because i would be the one who hadn't uploaded them. i have cameras (disposable) that i haven't developed and don't even know whats on them and if my husband threw them out, i'd be like, oops, my fault.

Yes, I would be mad. In fact, I'd probably be furious. However, I'd be mad because he lost it and didn't tell me. I think that if I EVER took pictures like that of myself, they would be put on the computer IMMEDIATELY and then deleted off the camera. I wouldn't want anyone seeing them except my husband. You have every right to be upset because he lost the camera and didn't tell you, but I don't think you have the right to be upset about the pictures being gone.

I would be beyond upset. I hope that you are able to find it! Best wishes!

M

yeah i would be very upset. but you also have to realize you should have been taken those pics out. any pic of me naked would be somewhere secure! so its about a 60-40 on this one

Updated

yeah i would be very upset. but you also have to realize you should have been taken those pics out. any pic of me naked would be somewhere secure! so its about a 60-40 on this one