Worried My Bottle-refusing Daughter's Health Will suffer...help!

Mama relax, she won't starve herself! SHe may be pouty and not eat for a while but she will eat, and she will be FINE! Just relax, get through your procedure and not worry about her not eating. She won't starve, she will eat when she's hungry, and its only 48hrs, you will be bac kto nursing her in no time!

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Shalom! Last month, I was teaching Reiki in the SF Bay, but now I am writing to you from home, in Jerusalem, Israel.

My son (now 28) nursed exclusively for one year, and continued to nurse (with food) until he was 2 years old. He refused to drink anything from a bottle until he was 14 months old, and then he only agreed to drink water from a bottle on long bus rides on hot days.

When he was 8 months old, I had to leave him for 36 hours for the first time. His grandmother (she nursed 7 of her own for at least a year each) was convinced that she would have no problem giving him my milk from a bottle. She was soon proven wrong. Her solution was to feed him my milk with a small spoon (a silver esspresso spoon, I believe). It took a long time, but it worked. Try giving your daughter milk as though you were feeding her soup! I hope that this will work for the two of you.

good luck with your "proceedure" and enjoy your daughter!

R.

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I know it can be scary, but you need to calm down a little. Sometime little ones do better taking bottles from people other then mommy. If the little ones can see, smell or hear mom, they will want mommy & the nursing section, so if there is any way someone else can talk over the feeding for the 2 days - it might be helpful in getting her to take the bottle.

Plus, since the bottle is kinda a new thing, try not to let her get overly hungry before trying to give her the bottle. Sometimes they are more willing to try new things if they aren't so hungry.

So, you know babies are very smart little things... she will quickly learn it's this or nothing. Even if she is just taking a few oz at a time... she is getting what she has to to keep hydrated... just watch the diaper count like you did when she was littler & if they are normal - all is good.

Also, maybe ask her doc about other liquids that she might be able to drink instead of just milk. Maybe she would be more willing to drink them - if you are more concerned with the hydration part of the situation.

I with you luck w/ you procedure & your little girl!

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I haven't read all the other suggestions so please forgive me if this is just a repeat. I had to leave my 2nd when he was about 5 mths with my mom, while taking my second in for a procedure where he had to go under a general. I too was worried he wasn't going to take a bottle, and he didn't. But my mom said she was able to spoon feed him, by putting a very little amount of rice cereal in with my BM. She said he took it like a champ. Once he was over the I'm starving and screaming stage, she decided to let him have the bottle and "play" with it.

She said from there he would chomp on it, but then periodically take a sip from it. His issue was having someone putting it and even sometimes trying to force him to take it. He wanted to do it on his own, especially when his true desire was to nurse!! Even today at 9 months you cannot give him the bottle. You can hand it to him and let him put it to his mouth and then kind of help him tip it. But forget bottle feeding in the regular sense. BTW he also did take tiny sips out of Dixie cups at that age...so its worth a try. Good luck I'm sure he will do just fine, its hard not to worry, but try not to. It'll end up being just fine!!

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My friend's son would take breast milk from a plastic cup (like a Solo cup) bent so that it would more easily fit his lips. It WAS time consuming than a bottle, as he could only take little sips, but it got him through the eight hours or so that he spent in daycare while she was working (it helped that her daycare provider was a close friend and a very patient woman).

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Absolute worst case scenario: You take her into the doc and she gets an IV. Not the worst thing on the planet.

However... since she will take a bottle (albeit for short periods of time) I suspect that once it's an actual "can't" she'll be fine. Unhappy, but fine.

You can also take a clean washcloth and dip in in water or milk for her to suck on... as well as popsicles (milk or formula or ice)

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Have you tried using a regular cup? Or a spoon? Some babies can do it at that age. You'd have to sit and feed her slowly and carefully still, but it is worth a shot.

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My daughter was younger when I had to go 72 hours without breastfeeding due to some medications I was taking. We had the same issues with the bottle refusal...which can be frustrating. I had the same concerns during the days I could not nurse. She was fussy and screamy for the three days. So on top of me being sick and miserable, I was stressed and felt bad for my baby. I had some help, so I tried to keep my distance, I think this helped a little. We used the sippy cup trick (soft spout, no stopper) She wouldn't take very much at all, but we made it through. My hubby and SIL basically, just offered her milk all day. Fortunately I had enough pumped to make it through the three days. It was rough, but we came through. Good luck with your procedure, I hope it goes well and you heal quickly. Babies are resilient, it'll be ok mama.

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My son took liquids from a regular cup (with much assistance of course!) before he took a sippy. The novelty alone might work in your favor, esp. since it is such a short time. Is she taking rice cereal yet or other foods? You could also try frozen breastmilk cubes stuck in those little mesh food bags with the handle (drawing a blank on what they are called, sorry!). She might suck on them.

Good luck with your procedure.

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Hello!

You've had some great advice - just wanted to echo a few bits of it!

Absolutely find _someone_ who has access to Dr. Hale's book and find out if the meds you will need to be on are really absolute no-nos or if there is an alternative that will work. The PP is correct that this is an area where you need to be an informed consumer because the doctor will probably not have that information for you. If you call your local La Leche League group then they should be able to track down a copy for you.

My LO wouldn't take a bottle either, and I wasn't a fan of sippy cups, so we started her with a real cup with water in it at 4 months with great success. We'd sit her in her high chair and hold the cup for her while she took sips. I started her early so that if for some reason I couldn't BF we had an option that might actually get milk into her!

While it'll be difficult to be away from your little girl, it will probably be easier on her (and in some respects easier on you) if you can steer clear of her until you can nurse again. Maybe get a hotel room and catch up on your sleep? Just be sure to 'pump and dump' so your supply stays up.

Good luck to you - you'll make it through this just fine.

1 mom found this helpful

Your daughter will be OK if she doesn't drink much milk for those 48 hours. What is important is to get fluids in her. Mothers have given some good ideas for doing that. I would add the possibility of trying the Pedialyte ice pops.

She may surprise you and get hungry and drink from a bottle before you're ready to breast feed again. But even if she doesn't, she will not starve. Our bodies are made such that we do eat when we need to eat unless they're handicapped by illness or an eating disorder.

Hang in there! She'll be OK and so will you. Try to relax. We heal better when we have less anxiety.

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I'm sorry if I'm duplicating another response but I have an idea for helping to keep her hydrated. My son (just 7 months) hasn't yet really mastered the sippy cup and with all this hot weather I know he's been dehydrated. I bought some of those little mesh bags they can hold (see link) and put ice cubes in it. He loves to suck on the ice and I know he's getting some water this way.
I'm sorry this won't help with the feeding/breastmilk problem, but it will give you an option.
They also work really well for fruit and other solid foods when she's ready for that.
Here's the link:
http://www.amazon.com/Munchkin-Fresh-Food-Feeder-Pack/dp/...

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it's a miserable thing to go through, but babies really won't starve themselves. i was too stupid to get my first baby used to a bottle before i went back to work. my poor husband had the worst night of his life as he tried to feed our furious baby and i came home to two exhausted unhappy fellows. we were about the two most incompetent first time parents ever. but the child learned how to settle for a bottle when mom wasn't around, and his dad learned that even the most angry furious uncooperative screaming baby can be survived. it's probably best if baby can't see, hear or smell you, and it'll be best for your recovery if you're not listening to howling baby. but it will be okay. have a patient friend or family member spend 24-48 hours dealing with baby while you focus on recovery. your daughter will NOT starve or dehydrate, and you're not helping either of you by making yourself crazy about it.
breathe, hon.
your baby will be fine.
khairete
S.

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Okay this is going to sound like an odd questions but what medication will you be taking that is not compatible with breastfeeding? Surgeons are often not educated in what medication is and is not okay to use while breastfeeding so they just automatically tell you to not breastfeed just to cover themselves without actually know if it is or is not safe. It's not really something they are doing to try and trick you or anything it just wasn't part of their schooling. Dr. Hale did a TON of research on what medications are and are not compatible with breastfeeding. ( http://neonatal.ttuhsc.edu/lact/radioisotopespage.html ) You should ask your Dr. to consult the book to see if the medication is actually contradictory to breastfeeding or if there is an alternative drug that can be used that is not contradictory to breastfeeding. If he is unable to get access to the information you can try contacting a lactation consultant or your local la leche league to see if they have access to Dr. Hale's information. If the drug truely is not compatible with breastfeeding and you are unable to locate an alternative drug a LC or the LLL should be able to help you get through those tough 48hrs until you can nurse your precious daughter again.

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or just try dropping it in with a syringe. Even let her try using a cup. I started my son with cups at 6 months. Although a fair amount will be spilled so the soft spout sippy is a good idea.

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My son would never take a bottle. When he was 4 months old, he was terribly constipated, so I had to give him juice to get him moving again. He took to a sippy cup without a problem. I got the soft nipple sippy cups and he drank from them with no problem. Maybe it was because it was sweet apple juice, but it worked.

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When you tried the bottle before, were you serving breastmilk? Can you pump and store enough for the 48 hours? (don't forget to pump and dump during the 48 hours or your supply will suffer). Usually it's the contents they object to. Bottle = not mommies milk.

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Try buying a Playtex drop-in bottle. Because the inserts are like bags, you can squeeze them and literally push the milk out. She may take it better if she doesn't have to suck it out. Or you may at least get a few ounces out of her! Since you said she's taking 2 ounces out of a bottle, I'd try just feeding her a lot more often than your normal routine.

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I hate to tell you to stay away from your daughter, but while you are recovering and until you can nurse again you could keep your distance. This would be less confusing for your daughter. If she is with you she will want to nurse and may resist the bottle more, however if she is away from you she may become hunrgry enough that she just decides to give in an eat from the bottle. She doesn't need much to stay hydrated during those 2 days. And don't worry about her missing calories...she will make up for it.

When my son was 3 months he got very sick and for about 3-4days straight he would not BF at all and I could only get him to take 6-8oz of breastmilk in a bottle all day. He did not get dehydrated. When he felt better he was eating ALL THE TIME to make up for the loss of food. Babies are smart and they know how to play catch up or keep just enough in to feel well. I would also try pedialyte. My son also liked that better than breastmilk when he was really sick. Not that your daughter is ill, but she may take a different flavor from the bottle vs. BM.

Hope you have a swift recovery!

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Try a soft spouted sippy cup with breastmilk in it. That's the only way I could ever get my daughter to take anything but me. We started this at 5 months old too. It's messy, but it worked.

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I'm assuming someone else will be taking care of your daughter for several days while you recuperate from the surgery. My suggestion is that you have the breast milk ready for the bottles and, especially near feeding time, you make yourself as scarce as possible. Having you near will only cause her to want to breast feed more, and will also cause you stress because you can't breast feed her. Babies may balk for several feedings when faced with this type of situation, but when they get hungry enough they will accept the bottle. Another idea for keeping her hydrated is to simply run a cool mist humidifier in the room. As long as she's breathing in some moist air, that will keep her cooler and help keep her fluid levels in her body stable. Also have the care give offer her water either in a bottle or if she's sitting up well they could even try offering her a cup of water. She'll likely spill most of it out of a cup... even with the adult holding the cup for her, but she'll get some and may really enjoy the experience of starting to learn a new way to drink

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Our son refused a bottle too. FROM ANYONE! (Exclusively bf till 9 months and weaned at 18 months.) The only way my mom could get any liquid in him when she babysat was by a cup. She would put breast milk a sippy cup with NO spill proof piece in it and give him some that way. He never drank a ton but enough to keep him satisfied for a couple hours........ Maybe that would work for you guys for 2 days? Then you wouldn't have to worry about her refusing the breast when you can start up again.

This may work best if she stays with someone else for the 2 days. If she sees you she will just want to nurse. But I would go the cup route so she doesn't quit nursing.

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I know this sounds weird but try a sippy cup. I am breastfeeding but introduced a sippy cup at 5 months. At first it was difficult for her but she eventually got it after several days. Also, my daughter seemed interested when we were drinking out of water bottles so we occasionally let her sip from those. I know that they now recommend waiting to start solids at 6 months but you can probably start a thin rice cereal using a spoon mixed with your breast milk.

I hope your procedure goes well and some of my ideas get you through this tough time.

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If you want to help your daughter get healthier let me know and I will share the wellness home with you.

Have a great weekend.

N. Marie.

Ask her doctor if she can take pedialyte for fluids. Also, my son was lactose intollerant and had to be breast fed until age of one. His pediatrician then told me a ingrediant to add to juice or water. Ask her pediatrician about that ingrediant so you can use it for the two days if it is still available.

Have you tried having your husband/other care taker give her a bottle? I have transitioned twice, and it is much easier for me to go away and let the other person handle it- and it is much easier for them if I go away. The baby smells its Mama and wants the real deal.

Also, my daughter would take the minimum while I would travel. This was really the first time my husband cared for her on his own, so I had my Mom come to help him out- just a thought, because if you can not take care of her, and someone else is- it might be best for that person to get breaks if the baby gets really fussy. Monitor the baby and if it gets life-threatening, take her to the hospital. Good luck to you and your daughter.