Working with Husband

Hi J.

My boyfriend (soon to be ex) own our own business, I have a 15 year old son from a previous marriage and a 3 1/2 year old daughter from this relationship. My daughter is special needs. I work at the business I own with him, and I started another business of my own last august. Here are my thoughts

You sound insecure and are worried that your husband will like someone else better for doing 1/3 of what you do. Don't be unless he has told you so. If thats the case then well...screw him what kinda guy would do that?

He needs to start helping around the house..oh yes he does....he lives there too...Hire a cleaning service to some in once a week and clean the house..that will be a load off your shoulders. Also one time a month take a nite during the week and go out to dinner with your girlfreinds...great stress reliever...dad needs to stay home and babysit.

relationships are a two way street. Give and take. Just like guys to poker nite..girls do girls nite...just like you take care of him, he needs to be taking care of you

hope this helps

D.

Talk to your husband about working part time at the office. 2 or 3 days a week for about 5 or 6 hrs each day. Also hire someone to come in maybe once a week and clean. Get the heavy stuff out of the way that sucks up all the time like windows, vaccuming, dusting and laundry. when my son was a baby, I would work every other weekend, just to get out of the house and made me feel a liitle more important. the paycheck was enough for everyday things like groceries and gas. so then his check could focus on the bigger bills. Hope that helps!Good luck!

Hi J.,

You sound like you need a personal assistant who can help you with work & some home tasks. Depending on what exactly your job entails, this person could help you organize files to buying groceries. I work freelance & what works for me is to hire a work asstistant-- who is NOT me. You said you were concerned that they may do better than you- don't be. Their job is to report to you & if they are at work (doing what you left them to do) & receive questions, have them roll that question onto you, or if it is an anticipated question, leave them with more information to pass on - on your behalf. You need to be really clear about this when you hire them & you need to scope out how much of a "go-getter" they are.

You sound like you are the one who knows what needs to be done & just need help doing it. Most days my assistant will work instead of me & therefore receive the paycheck. However, I get time with my 4 month old, the assistant is happy with the paycheck, & I get to keep my status in the company & get the job done.

You are being to hard on yourself! You're amazing doing 2 jobs at once- only that IS impossible! Decide what you want to do & then get help with the rest.

Best of luck,
C.

I hear what you're saying, J.. I am a stay at home mom of three girls 15, 6 and 20 months. It is difficult to balance evrything. I can say staying at home with my children is definitely the best decision we ever made. I was feeling bad because I wasn't contributing to our financiall income any more, so I decided to find some work I could do at home that would allow me to be a mom, wife and housecleaner :). If you would like some more info. on what I do you can visit my website at www.themomteam.com/michelleyoung Maybe it will help. Talk to your husband about your concerns and see what he really expects form you. My husband gets mad at me when i don't tell him how I feel. Good Luck! Let us know what you decide to do.

I am also a SAHM, one of the best decisions I ever made. I was a nurse for over 10 years and after having my 2 childre, ages 4 and 1 1/2, I thought about going back to work but could not see myself working a 12 hour shift a few days a week, too much time away from my family, but a part of me definately wanted to work again. I decided I wanted my "identity" back and joined BeautiControl. Another great decision! If you are interested check out my member perk here and also my website. I basically pamper you and some friends for one hour for FREE, and afterwards my products are for sale. Relaxation, girlfriend time, my best spas have been pampering other moms and their playgroups, so the kids get to play & make new friends too, we all win. Let me know if you want to know more.
D. Welch
www.beautipage.com/dawnwelch
____@____.com

Why don't you get someone to assist you in both areas.....You can remain an important part of your business and in the eyes of your husband and at the same time, giving yourself more quality time. I would seriously consider it, he or she could help you with the little things that are alot of times, time consuming, giving you a little time to yourself, perhaps, an hour or two a day or maybe one day a week will get you back on tract. That way you remain an integral part of everything that you have worked at for so long. I would.....GOOD LUCK!

It sounds to me like you need to find some purpose in your life. Find a job that makes you feel like you're making a difference. In my experience, women need to feel appreciated and recognized for their achievements. We also need that "feel good" sensation that comes from doing something from others who appreciate it (which means separate from our kids). I would love to plug my business here because it has done SO much for me and I love sharing the opportunity, but I would just advise you to find something that gives you that recognition and appreciation!