Working Mother

Hi N.

I'm also a working mom with two boys (a bit younger - 2 1/2 and 4 months). I love my career also and struggle with missing out on time with them (so when I am with them, I'm really "with" them). Something to think about is that while staying home with your kids would be great for the moment, your job is to think about their long-term future. There has been a great deal of research that if you drop out of a career path for 5-6 years, it can put you severely behind in your career and earning power. How many career women do you know who dropped out of the work force for 6 years and popped right back where they were when they left?

Yes, its tough to miss out on a funny phrase or game of Candyland but would you rather have built a strong career base that allows you time to attend soccer games and field trips rather than struggling up a ladder? Earn enough money that they can go to college? Show your boys that a strong career woman is okay?

But you don't have to be supermom either, depending what you do, maybe you could "mommy track" for a couple years? I switched to consulting so I can have more flexible hours and love it. Maybe there is a way you could take your current career skills and use them in a different way to have something that allowed you to spend more time with your boys? Maybe your job would allow you to work a 4/40 work week so you could always book a day off (I don't "work" on Friday's so my clients know not to schedule a meeting that day, but that doesn't mean I don't take a call here or there or work late at night after the boys are asleep - the work gets done just not always in the 8-5 work day).

Sounds like you have a supportive husband which is something a lot of working moms might not have. Also, most of my stay-at-home friends wish they had at least a part-time career job. So staying at home 24/7 isn't all laughs and hugs either.

Good luck!
C.

There are pro's and cons with both. If you like your work, I would say stick with it. Kids are a job, never forget that, but you don't get paid and often you don't get the feedback, positive or negative, that you get with a job. Your only boss is yourself, but everyone in the world thinks they are your supervisor. Plus the days that my dd is fussy and whiny and nothing makes her happy, I am so ready to go to work, when she is sweet and loving I hate to leave her. I am lucky that I now have a part-time job, so I can spend some time away and get the grown-up communication I need, but still get to spend a lot of time with my dd. I really didn't like being a full time sahm.
I feel like I finally have a good mix of with and without the baby, but it is really hard. I am working with a temp agency, and I really enjoy it.

It is a really hard decision, but if your husband can't cover the bills, then you need to decide what you can cut out of your life if you don't work. We cut out entertainment, eating out, and extra schooling when my dd was born and I became a sahm. I love my dd, and love to spend time with her, but I am really glad to go back to work every week.

Good luck to you.
R.

I am right there with you, I have a beautiful 3 month old girl who spends her days with grandma when dad works, other than that she is at home with him. Which of course is so hard to do. We have different parenting skills and ideas which makes it really hard so we spend alot of our time together arguing. I love my career and must work to pay the mortgage. But like you I am so sad to miss out on my baby growing up. I just try to make my time incredibly special with my daughter and treasure every single moment. Weekends take on a whole new meaning. I would suggest that you focus on that time together and accept that your family depends on you for that stable income, whether you know it or not your children love you so much for your sacrifice. Best wishes, and know that you are not alone!

Hi N.!! I am a stay at home mom of a 3 month old and a 8 year old. About 5 months ago, I really wanted to be able to stay home with my kids and not have to worry about childcare or getting a 9-5 job in tough economic times. I finally found a way to be home with my family. I work right from my kitchen table without sales, inventory or delivering of products, with an international wellness company that helps you go green, save green and live green! My family continues to be blessed, and I want to help other moms stay home too!! Request more info at www.mommyhasfreedomathome.com

N., you just need to ask your self, Where will I be in 5 Years if I change NOTHING???

Take care and good luck with everything.

H..

Hi N., As parents especially us moms want the best of both worlds, we want the income, but at the same time we don't want to miss a beat with our kids, only a hand full of people have both. I was always a SAHM and now that my kids are grown I'm so happy I was I have no regrets. When my youngest was 8 my husband retired from the Navy, so our income changed dramatically so I started my own daycare, I was able to earn an income but not miss a beat with my 3 children, we have 3 business right now, but I want to share the newest one with you. It's called blastoff, I'm going to give you the web site which is FREE and you can check it out, once you get on the web site just click the learn more button, and you are on your, just to give you an idea on how huge this is the last report from blastoff
CEO they were signing up over 700 people per hour. Here's the site htt://ppl.blastoffnetwork.com/ejl26 with this N. there is no reason that you will not be able to have the best of both worlds. Have Fun J. L.

Oh, so torn! I know! I am so afraid to go back to my teaching in 5-10 years b/c I think I'll have lost my knack for it by then. But it sucks missing the milestones at home too!

Can you take a 6 or 12 month LOA to try it out or just to have time at this young age and then return to work? I liked the previous suggestion of an alternate work schedule too. Maybe you can take Fridays off or work a couple half days?

This can be a hard situation for a man too, b/c of traditional roles for men. Is he at all interested in staying home with the kids instead of working? For me, I find it easier to leave my kiddos during the day b/c I know they are with family (grandma). Also, my dad was a Mr. Mom, stay at home dad and it was really cool to have a dad volunteer at school and be PTA president...

Maybe you can negotiate a plan with hubby for a shared way of getting stuff done on the homefront so that when you ARE at home, you can just focus on being with kids and playing with them, rather than juggling house chores too... and getting a cleaning service can help IF you can afford it.

This is a really tough dilemma and I wish you the best... you certainly are not alone!

Years ago I gave up a job that I had spent years preparing for. I had only been in my job for a year and was really appreciated. It was hard giving it up. But, I have six kids now and have loved all the time I've been at home with them. In fact, this has been the best time of my mothering years so far. I have had hard times, though, as I've struggled to "grow up" and deal with anger, selfishness, impatience, and boredom at times. And, my husband's income almost tripled since I left my job in the last 14 years. And he's a school teacher! Unbelievable! God has been very good to us. God bless your decision.