Working Moms - Sugar Grove,IL

Updated on May 23, 2011
D.D. asks from Portland, OR
34 answers

I would really like to know how all the other moms who work 40 hours a week do it.
I leave my house by 7AM every day and don't get home until 5:30 or 6PM every night. How do you fit time in to cook, clean, spend time with the kids? I am so tired by the time I get home that I don't want to cook. I have been so lazy with the cooking lately and really want to get back on track with it. And if I don't clean up or straighten up my house even for one day, my house can turn into a disaster within just a couple of days. Looking at the mess gives me such stress. But if I am cooking and cleaning every night of the week, when do I have time to spend with my 2 kids and husband???? If I put it off, then my house is a disaster and I am so stressed just looking at it. By the end of the week (Friday I am too tired to do anything. Then Saturday and Sunday come, I feel like all I do is clean. I have no time to spend with the family or do anything fun. I also never have time to spend with my friends anymore.
I do have my oldest daughter help by folding laundry and by doing dishes. My husband will help straighten up and he will do the vacuuming. But it always seems like there is so much to do.
So what I would like to know is how do other moms juggle their work and family and chores and still have time for fun??? Please help!!!!!!!!!!

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

I know, this is a tough battle! I don't do a thing (other than dinner) until the boys are in bed. That way I can spend time with them and still get my "chores" done. Try preparing a ton of meals on Sunday that you can freeze and reheat later in the week. It can be a real time saver.

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P.O.

answers from Harrisburg on

D.,

One thing I know works for me is to declutter my life. Get rid of all the stuff you stare at daily that stresses you out. You ask, when do I find time. Take a day off and make it a project. Take it one thing at a time. Papers this weekend, closet next weekend, and make a goal that you want to do XYZ by XYZ. I find this gives me something to work with.

Make your life easier by planning meals. I realize if I have an idea what I want to cook, then I don't lose time I don't have trying to figure out when to do it. I don't know about you, but I don't cook every day. I use left overs when I can. So maybe on Sunday you cook a huge meal that will last until Wed, cook again on Wed and on Friday you do take out or order in for the family treat.

As for cleaning, I am like an octopus. The moment I walk in I can spot things out of place, so I pick up as I go. I have a home for everything. Organize what goes where. Shoes go this place, toys go here, bills go here, clothes go there, etc. That way as soon as I see a toy or something out of it's home, I get the kids to put them back or I grab them here and there. I set aside Sat for cleaning, shopping and I plan that day as well. Make it that every Sat or Sun you do this this and that, and again it is planned and expected.

The major places that need to be kept clean for me is bathroom and kitchen. I set aside time to do those. I love to use gadgets, slow cookers (cook while I take a shower), blenders, dishwasher, lysol wipes, etc anything that make my life easier.

I purpose to take some time for me and let hubby know he has kid duty for an hour or I take the time before I get home and face that challenge. I also purpose that I play with my kids for an half hour or so for exercise and for quality time.

I realize I cannot do it all, and there are times I just don't do anything but leave the house and go socialize with friends. The chores will always be there.

So what I am saying is de-clutter, organize, shedule, plan, have a goal, relax and let it go sometimes. You can do it albeit not easy or perfect, but it takes some discipline! Good luck!

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B.S.

answers from Saginaw on

I let a lot of my household duties slack...and yes it stresses me out. I have a basement so I can shove a lot of it down there, out of sight out of mind. My main goal is to have the living room, kitchen and bathroom picked up. I shut the playroom and my daughters bedroom doors. :)

We do a lot of our fun on the weekends but sometimes during the week. I use the week as work time though, laundry, homework, pick up, and so on. Then on weekends its all about family time. I also believe in reducing clutter. I get rid of a lot of stuff as I'm going along, excess toys, clothing, and so on.

Dinners, I also find I do best when I have a dinner in mind, vs going home and picking something out. So maybe its best if you get your ingredients ideas set out the night before or morning of.

It definitely is a constant struggle.

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A.H.

answers from Chicago on

You have had some great answers, although I did not read them all. My advice is to have your children help you with all chores that you are doing. If you are doing laundry, they can pull the clothes that are inside out to the right side and place them in the basket. If you are cooking, they can wash the veggies (even a two year old loves to scrub veggies under running water), if you are cleaning, they can dust. The point I am trying to make is that after years of being gone from home for at least 11 hours a day, I used every opportunity to be with my children. I almost choked the other day with my 25 year old son said he never had a minute to himself as a child at home...he spent so much time with the family. REALLY???? As I said I was gone much of the time...It was just when I was there my three kids and I spent every minute we could together. Funny that his memory is not that I was gone all the time, it was that when I was home we were together. I love that. My kids went with me to the grocery store (where they learned how to follow a list), to the bank (where they learned how to make a deposit), to the gas station (where they learned how to pump gas) and to the department store (where they learned how to comparison shop). Try not to look at your life as if you are deficient in some way. Try to see every opportunity with your children as a chance to teach, enjoy and share your days. Some mamas are so lucky they do not have to work, but for those of us that have to....we can still be the great parents we need to be. And by the way...no one every said on their deathbed that they wish their house was cleaner or that they had worked more. Enjoy life and let dust and clutter rule for the few years are children are little. Too soon (as I now know) they are gone and you have a clean but EMPTY house. God Bless.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

We hired a house keeper to come one day. She cleaned the bathroom, the kitchen and did all of the laundry. She also vacuumed. Saved our lives during that time. We paid her $75, a week

I was managing a store and working way more than 60 hours. The only full day off I had was Sundays.

My husband and I made a weekly menu and grocery shopped together with our daughter. I did not have to be at work till 9:00 so many times, I took our daughter out to breakfast and we would visit during this time.. she was in daycare so they encouraged me to bring her in late if I wanted to spend time with her.

My husband picked her up and then would have a snack for her and they would go to a park or come home and play in the yard..

Our house was not perfect.. but there is no way we could have done it without the housekeeper.

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R.M.

answers from Sacramento on

Get a cleaning lady twice a month. It helps SOOOO much. It is totally worth the money because like you I was cleaning ALLL weekend and had no time to spend with the kids or do family outings. If I skipped the cleaning, the house was a DISASTER!!! Now it is always picked up and neat. I do laundry and dishes of course, vacuum and lightly clean the bathrooms in between cleanings. I don't spend nearly as much time cleaning as I did. Make it work in your budget because it is a lifesaver!

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M.R.

answers from Rochester on

I do not juggle successfully, which means that my house is usually rather cluttered. Saturdays I get up before the kids and try to get a few things done and I try really hard to keep on top of dishes. My husband works evenings, so the nights he's at work I make really easy and boring dinners with the kids, like sandwiches, beans and rice, or a simple casserole, just to cut down on kitchen time. I leave for work a little after 8 and am home by 6 and am usually pretty useless by then, too. Am I happy about my house? No. Does it make me really cranky sometimes? (Okay, all the time?) Yes. Does my husband care? No. (He cares that I'm cranky, but to him it's usually "not that bad" or "not as bad as you think," so he's not likely to clean something he can't "see.") He cooks on the nights he's home usually, unless it is Saturday (our only family day) since I'm more rested by dinner time, so then we trade off. Learn to love your crock pot, even if you are making really boring meals. You can toss a stew together fast before the kids go to bed, put it in the fridge, and put it on before you walk out the door. Easy meal.

As for fun, I am hoping that once the kids grow up we can learn what that is. :) My husband and I try to hang out a bit after they go to bed, but that is so late that I'm usually falling asleep on his shoulder and he sends me to bed anyway. I try to take "play" breaks with the kids and run them outside on the weekends if the weather cooperates. My confession, though, with housework, is I do let them overdo it on tv watching sometimes because that is the only way to avoid bloodshed and screaming and demolition long enough for me to make a dent in the house. Oh, and my husband also helps with laundry, but I fold it and put it away. (He folds it, but I usually can't tell it is folded and re-fold it and accidently hurt his feelings.) I might toss a load in before work, he'll switch it and start another one, then I'll finish them up after work.

This is all about survival, D. D!! =)

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J.R.

answers from Glens Falls on

I think different things work for different people but mostly there is some system of organization. I used to clean on Saturday mornings but keeping the house neat and picked up during the week made it pretty easy to get the cleaning done in a couple of hours. Alternate big chores like doing the floors every other week and woodwork every other week. Keeping it neat during the week meant dinner dishes done, everybody picking up before bed, making beds in the morning, not leaving things out and taking care of things as they occurred - so sort through mail as soon as you bring it in, clean up any mess or spill right away, put the dish in the dishwasher not just in the sink or on the counter. One night was grocery night and one night was laundry night. A big basket for any found item not taken care and a big ongoing list of things that need doing like making doctor appts, calling for a repair,buying a birthday gift. Doing things, like ironing, mending, bill paying, meal planning while watching TV at night. Planning meals is important, too, it's easier to jump into making dinner when you know it's sloppy joe night and do easy meals like sloppy joes, hamburgers, casseroles. I cooked something nice on Sunday's that provided leftovers for a night or two as well. And you have to have an attitude of "just do it" because usually the task isn't that bad after you've started...it's thinking about starting it that's the hard part when you're tired. I always had time in the evening with my daughter and we always called the weekend the "S days" so we would make plans for doing things on the "S-days"! Good luck!

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M.E.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi! I am in the same boat, except I have an almost 3 year old son and a girl on the way and in the process of splitting with my husband. How do I do it? Girl, prayer! and a lot of woosah, lol! For cooking, try a crock pot, it REALLY helps, you can do just about anything with it, set a meal in the morning and let it cook during the day. When you get home, voila, time to eat! Or, try using a dutch oven. You can go from the stove to the oven, this helps because you use less pots and pans and it's a really easy clean up. And VENT, vent whenever you can, but in a way that's not going to hurt the feelings of others. This one I had to learn because I would get home and all my son wanted to do was play and jump around, and I would get so frustrated (still do) with SIT DOWN, STOP, NO, HEY, LEAVE THAT ALONG, BOY...lol. But at the end of it all, all I could do was laugh. And it helped to just laugh. Since I work M-F...I try to reserve the weekends for my son and I...he likes the playground in the mall and I will take him to different restaurants so we can try different foods together. I grew up a military child...so I can't help but venture out, especially for new foods, lol. A great suggestion I saw from another post, just let go. Sometimes you just have to. I've let go of so much in my life...especially stressful things and unnecessary drama. Drama happens everywhere and everyday, but letting go of little stuff and even big stuff helps a lot too. Take out furniture you don't use, clean out a closet, clean out the fridge, let go of worry (Joel Olsteen, a pastor said "stamp paid in full on all your old accounts', for example maybe a past hurt you've been holding onto, a guilt, a relationship with a friend or ex you haven't let go, death of a family member...whatever. By letting go, you can see clearly and won't feel so much pressure. Hope it helps. Oh yes, and chores...if I have time in the mornings...I'll take one part of the home...maybe the kitchen and clean that before I go to work and then when I get home...designate 1 hour for another part of the home...maybe the bathroom or living room. I don't try to do it all in one day or night, so I split it up. Takes a little longer, but it works. Every now and then the living room might get run through again like a tornado after I just cleaned it...in that case, I move onto another section and leave it for another time of the day.

Sorry forgot, a suggestion for friends too...schedule a friend date maybe a week or two weeks in advance. Seems like a lot to schedule dates with your friends, but at first it helps and as you go along, you find easier ways to mix friends in again as if it were just natural.

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K.J.

answers from Chicago on

I am in the same situation but some of it is by choice. I make being healthy a priority so I work out before I come home, getting home with only maybe 1 to 1.5 hrs to spend with my son before bed. To deal with the dinner, I cook 1 or 2 big meals on the weekend and we eat leftovers during the week. If I have to cook, I try to choose the night that I get home earlier than usual.

On having down time with friends and family, I'm fortunate that my husband is a homebody sometimes. I am jealous of his time but keep trying to keep things in perspective but know a happy, not stressed mom provides a lot of benefit to my son too.

Good luck. Whatever decision you decide to try, I'm sure it will be right for you and your family.

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T.K.

answers from Chicago on

The best thing you can do is to LET GO. Every working mom struggles - some are just better at hiding it than others. You'll feel much more at peace if you let go and allow your house to be dirty or grab takeout every once in a while. I think you'll find that once you reset your expectations of what your house should look like, it will be much easier to feel caught up with the cooking and the cleaning.

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K.C.

answers from Chicago on

I typically work 50 to 60 hours per week. My kids are teens now. I have learned to do a lot with my crockpot. I cook anything and everything in it. I have also subscribed to Mealtime Makeover.....www.e-mealz.com. It plans meals for you based on the store of your choice....Jewel, Aldi, Dominicks, Walmart. It gives you a meal plan for each week along with what to buy at the store. Not only does it save me time, but money as well. As far as cleaning, over the years I have learned to overlook more than I used to. I do a load or two of laundry each day, sweep and general tidying. The rest of stuff gets done when I can. My house is never clean all at one time, unless it is a holiday or something. I don't know what to tell you about the fun part tho.....I'm still trying to figure out how to fit that in. : )

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L.L.

answers from Orlando on

I think you need to let go of having a clean house every day. Your house might get cluttered if you dont pick up every day but I doubt it really gets DIRTY just not cleaning for 2 days. My suggestions - do things like dishes & pick up toys every day, maybe a quick sweep every day if you have tile. Other than that make a schedule, like Saturdays, bathrooms & mopping. Sunday - vacuum & dust. Pick 2 days a week to do laundry. As far as cooking goes, I rarely cook myself if I do it's simple things. There are TONS of recipe books for quick, healthy meals. Check out Rachel Rays 30 min meals or something like that. Maybe go grocery shopping on Sunday and plan out your meals for the week?

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A.L.

answers from Chicago on

I quickly read through the responses.

I work 40+ hours for my day job, have 2 kids (2 and 6), and a husband who has his own business that I do all the paperwork/recordkeeping.

Here is something that helped me.

Check out www.flylady.net. She covers what every says here. It's free to sign up. Her motto is about baby steps, and doing things 15 minutes at a time. She splits the house into zones, and each week is a different zone. Drop perfection. Get rid of clutter. Make a menu for the week, shop once a week. Get rid of clutter. Get kids and spouse/signifiant other to help. A load of laundry a day keeps the laundry in good shape.

My house will be perfect when the kids move out. Until then, it's not too bad, and we make sure to have fun with the kids.

Best of luck!

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K.M.

answers from Denver on

I feel your pain. This past fall we were trying to sell the house (did not succeed) and had to keep it cleaner than we ever had in the past. I learned that we had WAY too much stuff and convinced the kids to get rid of a whole lot of it when we unpacked our storage unit. I think that as a working parent you have to let some stuff go as far as the mess and get all kids (unless not yet walking) in on the cleaning. I have my kids (6 and 3) pick up after themselves now and it has helped considerably. I also keep my eyes open for deals on take out food. Barring that, we also cook up batches of meat on the weekends so we simply need to reheat it with whatever we are eating. On the weekends we typically split up the responsibilities so the deeper cleaning of the house can get done. My hubby takes the kids one morning so they play and have time with him while I clean and the other morning we switch. If we would rather do something fun and on our own we plan throughout the week by doing a little bit more of the cleaning during the week so it doesn't require us to work on it all morning one of the mornings of the weekend. I really think that sometimes people hold themselves to way too high of a standard on the cleaning and when you work outside of the home you have to let that go to some extent.

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K.K.

answers from Chicago on

I think this is the part all mom don't like, trying to figure out how to get it all done. I left the 7 a.m. and didn't get back to 7 p.m. I felt I never had time to do anything and felt so tired I didn't want to do anything. I would sit down and figure out exactly what needs to be done and what can be on a need to do basis. I am a control freak and a clean freak, so I wanted the to be "perfect" at all times. I finally had to let that go. Because anyone who claims to be superwoman, is one tired mom ready to give it all up for some sleep. I did hire someone to come every other week to just clean the kitchen and bathrooms, she did nothing else in the house just those rooms, because I thought they were more important. Now, I am home and I feel those are still the main rooms to clean so they get cleaned every week, while the other rooms get vacuumed and spot dusted. When I was working I always started the day with a load of laundry, and when I got home I through it in the dryer, so after dinner and during my down time(watching tv) I folded it. As for meals, crockpotting is a great way to go. You can even put everything in the removable stoneware the night before and drop it in the crockpot in the morning and start it. I also found that making a meal planner for the month really helped. I went shopping the first of the month and bought everything I need for those meals. So I knew I had everything i needed for 30 meals. I didn't always stick to the meal for the day that I planned, and switched things around, but it really helped. I tried to prepare the next night meal as much as I could the night before so when it came time to cook it the prep was done, I made hamburgers and froze them, browned meat for spaghetti and frozen that too. Anything that would say me time. I think you need to find out what works best for you. I loved reading all the responses because I don't feel alone and there are some great ideas.

Good luck!

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S.B.

answers from Wichita on

what helps for me is to have a meal plan. I make it on saturday, then sunday we do the grocery shopping, and I know every night what we're having. Some are make ahead, like I can make a meatloaf up the night before, then just stick it in the oven when I get home.

Also, my husband helps with the chores. He picks up the living room while I make dinner (with our dd's help) and after dinner he does the dishes. Then after that, we can play until bedtime.

Laundry we do about every other week, and we do a load a day. I stick it in the washer before we go to work, then put it in the dryer when we get home. Otherwise we spend all day saturday or sunday doing laundry.

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L.W.

answers from Chicago on

It's tough! This last year we had someone start coming to clean every other week as well as maintain the lawn...this gives us the extra time we need on the weekends to spend together. I work full time and my husband travels during the week so it is difficult...as for meals, I make a menu for the week (that's how I make my grocery list) and I try to do simple things or reuse things, like cook extra chicken at one meal so i can reuse it later. i also do breakfast for dinner one night a week and pizza on friday nights. Try the crockpot as well cooking ahead and freezing. I also pay bills, set up appointments, etc on my lunch hour at work so I'm making the most of my time away so when I am home I'm focused on it. Good luck!

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M.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

I completely understand. I used to be in the same boat. I was out of the house by 7 and would stress out like crazy to make sure I was at afterschool care by 6. On top of it my job was so stressful that I ended up diagnosed with high blood pressure and because of eating so poorly, gained 40 pounds. It was terrible. Hubby travelled for a living, so he was not much help around the house or with picking up kids. I ended up starting a home business and quitting my ft job. High blood pressure gone, kids happy, hubby happy, and most important....I'm happy!! Good luck with everything.

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C.P.

answers from Chicago on

Hi D.,
Does your job have any kind of a flex option? I used to work 5 days a week, but was always so stressed and never felt like I had any time. I worked out an arrangement with my boss so that I could work Monday through Thursday instead of M-F. I stay an extra hour on those days, and also usually work through my lunch (or eat at my desk). Occasionally I have to bring work home, but its rare. Having my Fridays with my kids (ages 1 and 4) is HUGE - I get through at least half of the laundry, and we always run at least one or two errands. I'm also able to sign up for a class with them. Right now we're doing soccer on Fridays. Its really changed things for the better.

Other things that make a big difference - having a cleaning service come 2x per month. Even if you can only afford to have it done once every three weeks, not having to spend 1/2 a Saturday or Sunday cleaning is huge.

We also plan our meals out every weekend and go grocery shopping just once per week. If possible, I try to spend about 1 hour in the kitchen on Sundays prepping a meal or meals for the week. Sometimes its making a lasagna or a casserole to bake later in the week, other times its just chopping up veggies and chicken for a stir fly, etc. We cook 5-6 nights a week, and spending just one hour on Sunday with some advance prep works makes a big difference.

I have to give me husband a TON of credit. He is a teacher, so he gets the kids from day care during the week and always starts dinner before I get home (sometimes I get lucky and dinner is even ready when I get home!). He also does a ton of stuff around the house and with the kids. Having a very balanced relationship in terms of household and parenting responsibilities is a huge help.

Finally, in terms of clutter and cleaning up, we make sure the kids clean up their toys every night before bed. That way it never turns into an enormous mess that is overwhelming. Plus it gets the kids in a good habit of cleaning up and not leaving things messy. We turn it into a game - who can do this the fastest, or I bet you can't pick up and put away 5 things before I count to 20, etc.

Good luck. its not easy and its so exhausting. Know that you're not alone though!

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S.

answers from Chicago on

It is not easy for anyone. Period. Unless you'd like to start taking speed, you're probably going to have to come to peace with... your house is always going to be a little messy, the laundry will always be piled up, and there will never be enough time.

That being said, can you cook & freeze on a Sunday afternoon? How about brinner one night a week? Eggs, waffles, oatmeal, pancakes, all very quick & easy to prepare. Of, how about a soup & sandwiches might? The CrockPot can become your best friend.

I pick up daily & vacuum at least twice a week. When things are out of control, I just plow through it. If it doesn't get done, well, the mess will be there tomorrow.

Spending time with your kids doesn't have to be all out glorious... read with them, snuggle on the couch watching your favorite show, make popcorn, take a walk, get a calendar & plan something really special for a given Saturday afternoon.

I don't know why we all think that everyone else is Wonder Woman & therefore we must also be... we can only do what we can do.

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K.N.

answers from Chicago on

I solved the cleaning problem by having a cleaning lady come every 2 weeks. It's an extra expense, but either my husband or I would spend a whole Saturday cleaning and not with our kids. It's made a big difference. Don't worry about your house being perfect. Spend as much time w/your kids as you possibly can.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

I work full time and we have a 22 month old. We are fortunate that we can afford a cleaning lady twice a month, so that helps me out ALOT! I stay on top of the laundry by washing, folding and putting away 1 load a day, that way it doesn't build up. I am a teacher, so I am home by 3:45, so I hang with my son then. My husband works nights, so he can play with him then too. We feed him at 5:15 and he is asleep for the night by 6(again, we are really lucky:) My husband and I hang out and eat dinner together and then he leaves for work around 8. I then run on the treadmill, talk on the phone while folding laundry or loading/reloading dishwasher and then shower and get ready for bed.
Before the cleaning lady, i would give myself one chore a day. That seemed to help. Good luck.

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R.N.

answers from Chicago on

Honestly, it is a struggle I think every working mom deals with! #1, get a cheap cleaning crew to come every other week. The last thing I want to do is to take a whole weekend day trying to scrub my house - it really helps so much. Also, I think it takes team work. My husband and I split up the duties - he gets home before me so he does the cooking & dishes, I take care of the bills, laundry and other house hold tasks, we both chip in on keeping the house relatively picked up. Also, maybe trying to plan meals ahead of time or in the winter using the crockpot so it can be made in the morning and cook all day so it is ready when you get home? Just some ideas but I feel your pain, know that you are certainly not alone!

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P.K.

answers from Chicago on

It's tough- there's no doubt about it. I feel your pain because I'm in the same boat. My husband is a huge help- we split up the chores and do things like grocery shop together, as a family, after work during the week so we have less errands to run during weekends. My house is far from perfect and clean but I feel best when it's at least semi-tidy looking. If I spend a few minutes every day or two picking up things out of place, the whole house looks much better. In a pinch, dim the lights so you see less dust! :)

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D.C.

answers from Chicago on

I didn't read the other answers, so if this is a dup I apologize. I know money is tight for everyone, but I have a cleaning lady come once a month to do all the major stuff. This gives me a little more time with my family on the weekends. I am gone from 7a until 6:45 or 7pm, so I have little time with my son. See if you can scrape a little money and get someone to help with the major stuff!!
Good luck!

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L.R.

answers from Kansas City on

I too work 40 hours a week. It's hard. I take my daughter to preschool at 8am and am not home till 5:30/6pm. I then cook dinner and clean up a bit. I found that having my daughter help out with dinner (whether setting the table or help making a side) gives me time with her. We sit at the table and talk about our day. My daughter then helps out with dishes. She puts her dishes away. My husband helps out with this too. Instead of cleaning every weekend, I try to pick things up at night before I go to bed, I have my daughter put her own things away, and try to clean 1 thing a night (be it bathrooms, vaccum, load of laundry). My husband helps with this too. When I give my daughter a bath, I usually take that time to clean the bathroom and start folding laundry. It seems time consuming, but it also gives my family a sense of unity and peace. Don't get me wrong - there are times we do clean on the weekend.

Hope that helps. It's hard whether you are a working mom or a stay-at-home mom. I think we all struggle with this and just have to find a balance that works for each family.

Good luck to you.

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J.M.

answers from Chicago on

I completely echo the flylady.net recommendation! Helped improve the balance in our lives. You are not alone in your struggles, but you've already started to improve things by asking for help and looking for a better way. Hang in there!

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J.N.

answers from Cincinnati on

Hi, I know exactly how you feel. I worked for corporate america, traveled, and tried to be the best mom I could be... I felt so stressed all the time and I also felt that I was not engaged with my son (pre-occupied with work). I felt horrible so I decided to look at options that would allow me to work from home, have a flexible schedule and spend more time with my son. I am much less stressed now and my son is much happier and has gotten all A's!!! http://www.GoGreenBHealthy.com

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Well either the house won't be as clean as in the past or you can get a cleaning lady. Since you are both working, you should be splitting the house work and childcare 50:50 also - helping to straighten up is not the same as taking responsibility for straightening up and doing it without being asked. A lot of stress that women face is that even when men participate the 'organization' -is still the woman's job (planning the meals, noticing what needs to be done, buying the birthday presents, etc). Cooking multiple meals and freezing ahead can help. DH and I always cooked together prior to DS and that was a lot of our 'together' time in the evening.

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D.S.

answers from Houston on

welcome to the club :)

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

We had to discontinue our cleaning help when the economy changed and haven't been able to get back to that routine yet.

Our house is pretty messy with clutter. I clean, but cannot physically manage to pick up all the jackets, shoes, laundry etc.

I employ the family! I can't do it all myself. To be sure trash makes it out on trash day, I open the garage and shove the cans under the door to the driveway. Someone better be sure they hit the curb for pick up. I run the vacuum about twice a week. Not enough with a dog, but that's what I can handle. I clean the restroom while my daughter is in the shower. I use the dishwasher a lot and just let someone know the clean dishes need to be put away. For laundry, I wash the husbands & 5 year olds clothes and only put my own clothes away. Everyone else must put their own clothes away including the 5 year old. I work very hard at not cleaning or picking up after the 5 year old, I make her do it herself (in training).

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C.F.

answers from Chicago on

It takes planning and help from everyone. Everyone must clean up their own messes. Since you don't say how old the children are it is hard to say what the youngest can do. But everyone can pick up after themselves. Then you have got to give up the idea of a perfectly clean house, a house should look lived in so if you don't get the dusting done this week catch it next week. I have always worked and have 3 children. I am now a single mom with one teen my others are grown (one gone one still here). When I gave up on having a perfectly clean house it really helped.
One thing you can do as far as meals. Cook your meats on Sunday (roast, meat loaf, spaghetti sauce with meatballs etc.) Then all you have to do when you come in from work are the sides, a veggie or salad, brown some dinner rolls, something easy. The vac and save is a wonderful kitchen tool for saving food and keeping it fresh. I have BBQ ribs that I vac and save and put in the freezer and when I take them out and reheat it is like they just came off the grill. Begin to teach your daughter how to cook veggies and brown rolls if she is old enough. Ask around maybe a neighbor has someone that cleans for them and have that person come in once a month just to do the things that you can't get to like the dusting, cleaning windows and glass tables, refluffing the couch cushions. If the house becomes a disaster while you are spending time with them instead of cleaning I think they will be happier with spending time. I doubt that when they look back they will say," Mom you should have cleaned the house more and left us alone"

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

Someone must have told you that you are terrible if your house isn't perfect. Imagine how many people are out there that experience the same thing. Millions. I tried to get a handle on this myself. Now my children are gone and I wish to have all of the time back that I a) wasted worrying about if my house was clean and B) the time I could have just enjoyed it. Just quit worrying about it. If you really think it is supposed to be clean all of the time then so be it. And there will be tons of advice about shortcuts (didn't look at the other posts yet). The time will pass...and here is an old saying, "so go away cobwebs and go away dust, for I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep". Love, love, your kids. The time passes. Hide things under sheets if you must. Just keep loving your children.

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