Working Mom or Stay at Home Mom

I don't think a clean apartment is a luxury! True, it is wonderful to have a roof - any roof - over your head, but there is nothing wrong with wanting to live in a roach-free home. You can also probably find a very nice used car for a pretty reasonable amount.

I think going back to work sounds like a good idea. Can you start the process of looking before you renew your license so you can see how good the job market is? Also, you don't necessarily need to bring your son to work with you. Many in-home day cares are pretty affordable, so you can probably earn enough to cover the cost of day care and have extras to put towards higher rent and a car payment.

I think - stay at home. Your financial situation is temporary. Once your husband finishes school you will be able to afford more.

As far as the roaches - talk to the landlord. They should spray for them regularly / several times a year. Every apartment I ever lived in did.

If they dont, you can look into paying someone who can do it, or doing it yourself. At my house, I think I've paid between $60 -$100. I know that is a fortune when you are on a tight budget (I know! I've been there!) but it would be cheaper than getting a more expensive apartment.

I sometimes buy E.L.F. makeup - its between $1 and $3 and its sold at Target and at Dollar Stores and think its pretty good quality. A $1 lip gloss can go a long way in making you feel pretty. I'm wearing it now!

:) Hugs!

Is your husband a student? Then PLEASE PLEASE check out married student housing. It is so much cheaper that other rent in college towns and is often all bills paid.

Married student housing is for families. It usually has 2 or 3 bedrooms and is very well taken care of. They don't let things go. I could call about a leak and they'd have maintenance at my door in about 20 minutes. They take care of the property.

Buy some boric acid at Walmart and sprinkle it behind the stove and fridge, in the drawers, under the sinks, around the baseboards in the bathrooms and kitchen areas. They eat it and die. They go away. I used it all the time when I lived in low income housing. They spray one apartment and the bugs all run to the neighbors, when they bomb that house they all run back.

Stay home and take in other peoples kids to babysit. You wont need a car or have to pay$400 and your husband wont have to watch your child if he gets sick. Save half the money you make and put it toward a car. Your husband will not be able to stay home and study while you have kids there, but he can go to the library.

The living conditions need to be addressed by your landlord. You shouldn't have to pay more to have a roach-free apartment.

As for the luxuries, those aren't necessary. If your husband's stipend covers your "necessary" expenses, then you may need to wait until your husband is finished with school. Factoring in the idea that you would need to pay for childcare in order to work, it probably wouldn't be worth working for you. It's not about being tired/weary- in this case it seems like it's about the actual cost/benefit.

Find out the following:
- Annual licensure fee ($400/ year, which is around $33 per month )
- Monthly childcare costs (in NY, it's around $800 per month for full-time)
- Costs associated with maintaining your job (classes you would need to take, materials you may need to purchase, clothing you would need to purchase, gas or public transportation fees, etc).
- Your anticipated monthly income

If there isn't a financial benefit to you working right now, then wait until your husband is out of school and your son is in Kindergarten. Craving luxuries is normal, but it's not possible right now.

first off go to your landlord. a dwelling full of roaches is NOT acceptable, and if you're doing your part by keeping the apartment clean they have a responsibility to keep it exterminated.
next, why not look for a job that suits your needs? if you can't find one, you stay at home. but you don't know until you look if there's one out there that meets your criteria.
khairete
S.

It sounds like you have a J-2 visa, which does allow to you work any job after you pay for the work authorization (to respond to the posters that think you would be working illegally). I personally think you should go ahead and pay the fee. Staying home as an international student's dependent can make you feel bored and isolated. With the authorization you could do anything childcare, house-sitting, dog-walking, things you could do with your son. Maybe work as an ESL tutor at your husband's school or at the public library? Have you spoken to the international student advisor? The economy's not great, true, but if you get creative you can probably find something.
Good luck!

Stay at home and babysit other kids once you solve your roach issue. Buy some roach bombs and set them off once a month. Three should do the trick. One in bathroom, living room and kitchen. Close the doors and come home after two hours. It works.

Secondly, can you teach adults your home language? Put up a sign in your apartment lobby and many Americans may pay to learn a new language since it will help them be more marketable.

This doesn't answer your question directly, but in many states, landlords have an obligation to make sure that their properties are livable. Talk to yours about getting an exterminator to take care of the roaches as soon as possible. If he/she doesn't act on it, consider consulting a legal aid group that can give you some free information about pursuing it further.
As for your direct question - something to consider is whether you can "wait it out" when it comes for your desire for luxuries. If your husband can finish his schooling in 3.5 years, can you wait until then before having a car and makeup? Also, as you've already noted, there are expenses that come along with working - licensure, transportation, child care, clothing. Will you be able to find a job that will make it worth while?
Finally, I have to admit that I'm a big fan of staying home with one's kid. I was a working mom for my son's first 2.5 years, and I really missed the time with him. I left my job and became a contractor, working very few hours a week, and am so happy I did so. It isn't for everyone, but that is something else to consider.

First and foremost: Get your landlord to exterminate those roaches. Roaches are dangerous to children and the elderly. You can start by making sure everything is absolutely spotless and that there is no clutter. Since the supervisor seems so invested in your job and your life, he might be a good person to ask about an exterminator...
If you want to work, you might try to find a part time job at a local pre-school so that your son can attend with you free of charge. He will have friends and play time and you'll be contributing to your family. I'd bank a large part of everything you make for a while to build up a nest egg.
Look around and see if day cares or pre-schools are hiring before you spend the $400...
I'd concentrate on getting rid of the roaches before I concentrated on finding a job. Your living situation has to come first.
LBC

Hi! Roaches, yuck! It sounds like spraying isn't going to do it, the roaches will just come to you from the other apartments. Have your neighbors complained? Plan on a day to bomb your apartment, if you can get your neighbors to do it at the same time even better. Then immediately pour borax anywhere you can- under the sink, baseboards, closets, in any hole you can find. And if you find holes, fill them with fine steel wool. I'd tell you to do the whole perimeter but not with little ones about. Make sure you absolutely have nothing for them to eat. Oh, Vaseline is a great barrier, you can use it anywhere you can clean it up, like counters or pipes coming through the ceiling or inside ductwork.
Instead of looking for a job why not see if you can watch kids for the summer? People are always looking for someone to stay in their home with their kids while school is out. Maybe you will find someone with a pool!! Then in the fall contact some local homeschool groups and offer lessons in whatever language is your first language. Do you do anything crafty? There are all kinds of ways to sell crafts, it is never too early to start making things for Christmas. Food! Are there any special foods you can make and sell? I used to pay a fortune for a simple spinach pie before I got brave enough to try making them myself. I've been making homemade egg noodles since I was a little girl, I can't believe how much people will pay for fresh pasta. Are there are other student families you can join with? Maybe they have some ideas. Good luck!

You didn't say what kind of work you do but you will make more than the 400 even if you put child in a home day care. Sounds like it would be good for your situation.

Well, I wouldn’t do anything without knowing for sure….what jobs are out there for you, and how much they pay.
If the pay is just covering the cost of daycare, then it’s not worth it. Stay home with your baby.
What about getting a part-time job? Or a job to earn some extra money for yourself without huge responsibility. Such as….Mary Kay consultant, Scentsy Consultant, Pampered Chef..etc?
I have a friend that makes quite a bit of money by house sitting people’s pets…go feed someone’s cat, take their dog out…etc. Will give you a little bit more money to buy something nice for yourself.

Also, the roaches. I would get that taken care of. Demand it. You’re paying for the place, it needs to be livable.

Check out Pinterest for some crafty homemade ideas to help treat yourself and make you feel more glamorous 

I have worked in a Pre-school…and I can tell you that it is AMAZING for children. They learn so dang much! So even if he was going full or part time. It would be a good thing, and you should try not to worry.

Sorry to hear about your situation. My advice is to enjoy the time with your child as much as you can. Check out the website meetup . com - you can find play groups of other stay at home moms in your area and you can find groups of people with similar interests. This will help build a support group of friends for you and may also help you find a job opportunity... (maybe there is a mom that needs someone to watch her child in her house and wont mind you bringing your child along??) Also, this area seems to offer alot of free activities for families; this is another way to meet friends and build a support network.
As for the make up and clothes, try freecycle . org Its a website that people can request items they want and others can post items that they are giving away for free.
Good Luck!

Can you move in with family? Roaches would be an absolute deal breaker for me! Can your hubby transfer to the other campus so you can get married housing?

If you are not a US citizen and are in the country accompanying your husband's student visa, then the question is not valid. You may not qualify to work in the US anyway.
If it were me, I would stay home. More than just the weary momma, you will be a weary wife and the money you get will probably just barely cover daycare and a car -- which means there is no real benefit to it for you. Good luck!!